Shut Your Eyes

“Maggie?”

Vero and I looked up from our cupcakes to see Jordan standing in the doorway, coat on and keys in hand. The rest of the boys were milling about in the foyer as well, and everyone seemed to be getting ready to head out into the cold winter day beyond the front door.

I gave him a soft smile and swallowed the bit of cupcake that I’d bitten off before he’d appeared in the kitchen. “Mhmm?”

“Do you mind if I drop by the condo to grab a DVD from Max? He borrowed a movie from me months ago and keeps forgetting to bring it to practice. I wanted to bring it on the road trip.” Jordan’s face melted into a slight pout at the end of his sentence, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes as I smiled and nodded.

“You can come by and get it, but Max isn’t home yet. You might have to search for it.”

He waved me off and pulled a beanie onto his head. “I’ll find it. Are you coming home now, or should I use the spare key?”

I sighed softly and looked down at the half-eaten chocolate masterpiece that Vero had lovingly protected from the boys and saved just for me. A few more minutes of indulgence wouldn’t be worth the hurricane that Jordan would certainly unleash if left unattended inside of the condo. “I’m coming, give me a moment.”

Jordan nodded and ambled back into the foyer with the rest of the boys. Vero winked at me with a stealthy grin, as if she knew the exact thoughts that had just gone through my mind. We cleared the bar, Vero taking the plates of dessert while I grabbed the wine glasses, and put them into the dishwasher with the rest of the mess from lunch.

“Je voudrais pouvoir y rester plus longtemps.” (I wish I could stay longer.) I murmured as the two of us stood in front of the sink. Vero’s eyes sparkled and she waved her hand dismissively into the air.

“Absurdité! Nous aurons tout le temps ensemble une fois que les garçons sont partis.” (Nonsense! We’ll have plenty of time together once the boys are gone.)

I pulled her into a tight hug. “Merci pour le déjeuner et pour le gâteau.” (Thank you for lunch, and for the cupcake.)

“Toujours.” (Always.) She replied happily.

I gathered my things, pulling on my coat and fishing my keys from the pocket. My socks slid on the hardwood as I made my way to the foyer where my boots and Jordan were waiting for me by the door. Before putting on my boots I made sure to hug all of the other boys, telling them that I would see them tomorrow when I dropped Max off at the airport. Then I slipped my feet into my boots, tied them up quickly, and Jordan ushered me out of the house and into the flurry outside.

“Meet you there?” I asked quickly, wanting to be inside of my jeep.

He nodded silently and helped me into my car like it was second nature. The gesture made me smile. Underneath the sometimes pig-headed exterior was a gentleman and I made a mental note to tell his mother, if I ever met her, that she’d done a fine job with this one.



“So where is Max, anyways?” Jordan asked curiously over a mouthful of the Doritos we were sharing.

We were sitting on the floor in front of the TV cabinet going through the piles of DVDs that Max had stashed in there. When we’d arrived at the condo Jordan had sheepishly admitted to forgetting which movie he lent to Max, but insisted that he’d know it when he saw it. So here we were, Indian style in front of the cabinet, as I held up DVD after DVD for Jordan to look at.

I shrugged in response to his question, sifting through another stack of movies. “I’m not exactly sure. Somewhere within driving distance.”

“He didn’t tell you where he was going?” Jordan asked with a skeptical look on his face.

“No, he didn’t.”

“That doesn’t concern you?”

Popping a Dorito into my mouth, I shook my head. “Not really. If it were important, he would tell me – simple as that.”

“I’m still surprised he didn’t tell you.” Jordan insisted, giving up on the movies in his hands and instead wandering into the kitchen in search of the beer he knew Max had in the fridge.

“Well if you had a sister, would tell her everything?” I asked teasingly. It had become quite clear to me that not everyone really understood the dynamics of Max and I’s relationship. He didn’t need to tell me everything; he told me what was important. I’d learned a long time ago not to sweat the small stuff.

Jordan came back into the living room with two beers in his hands and handed me one of them. “I tell you everything.”

“I’m not your sister.” I pointed out softly.

Jordan shrugged and took back his spot on the floor in front of me. “Closest thing I’ve got.”

I looked up at him with a smile on my face. He was looking at me like he’d just pointed out that he liked pizza, or that his name was Jordan. He’d said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Jordan popped another chip into his mouth and began chewing like a boy, loudly and sloppily.

“Chew with your mouth closed, mon frère.” I reminded him with a grin.

Jordan knew enough French to know what I’d said and his face lit up. Without replying to my comment he closed his mouth and chewed like an adult, starting to sift through the movies again with a small smile on his face. All of a sudden he grabbed one case out of a stack and held it up.

“Got it!”

“Oh, thank God.” I murmured with relief. With as many movies as Max and I had, Jordan and I could have been searching forever. He handed the case to me and I rolled my eyes when I saw the title.

“Jurassic Park? Seriously? This is the movie you couldn’t go on the road without?”

Jordan snatched the movie back from my hands and held it up for me to see. “Maggie, this movie is one of the greatest movies of all time. People get eaten by dinosaurs and Samuel L. Jackson sits around looking like a badass the entire time, you can’t beat that.”

“I thought your favorite movie was Gladiator.” I asked as I started re-stacking the DVDs into the cabinet, eager to get the mess cleaned up.

“It is. But Jurassic Park is a close second.” He helped me put all the movies back before standing up and helping me off of the floor.

We picked up our bottles and our bowl of chips and headed into the kitchen. I took a seat on the bar, crossing my legs underneath me with a swig of my beer. Jordan leaned against the counter and pursed his lips slightly. “What time is Max getting home?”

I shrugged, causing Jordan to roll his eyes. “Seriously, Mags?”

“As a heart attack.”

“So you’re just going to stay here alone all day?”

Cocking an eyebrow, I nodded slowly. “Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known.”

He shook his head with a chuckle and crossed his arms over his chest. “Then went crazy as a loon.”

Laughing at his retort, I took another swig of my beer and lazily pointed my hand in his direction. “Well what’re you going to do? Skip the road trip so I won’t be alone all week?”

“No, because I would get fired and Sid would probably murder me. I am going to hang out here until Max gets home, though.”

He moved off of the counter and wandered back into the living room, taking one giant hand and smothering my face with it playfully as he passed by. I pushed his hand off and spun around to look at him as he began looking through the TV cabinet for a DVD to watch.

“Does this mean I have to feed you dinner?” I teased.

He nodded. “I’ll help. Now stop worrying about dinner and come over here to help me pick out a movie to watch.”

Two movies later Jordan and I were still on the couch, only now I was in my pajamas – a pair of shorts with a Steelers tank top and my favorite black cardigan – and Jordan had stretched out over the entire couch, letting his long legs rest across my lap.

As promised, I’d fed him dinner. Figuring that he needed to eat something healthy to balance out the crap I’d let him eat earlier on in the day, I made him a tweaked version of chicken cordon bleu – a recipe that took much less time and still tasted just as good. And just like he’d promised, Jordan helped me with the meal – I’d left him in charge of making sure the chicken was cooked all the way through, a task he proved quite capable of.

After eating our body weights in chicken and veggies, Jordan and I had crashed onto the couch and settled in to watch Lord of The Rings. He’d gotten to pick the first movie, Die Hard, so I was given the second pick – and I’d chosen to watch Frodo wander towards Mordor for a couple of hours.

I saw the opening credits, I saw Bilbo’s grand party, I’d even seen them run away from the ring wraiths – but after eating my body weight in chicken and veggies a familiar warmth began to spread through my body, and before I knew it I was seeing the inside of my eyelids.

When I woke up, I felt like I was in a straitjacket. Jordan was lying underneath me with both of his arm wrapped securely around my torso – pinning my arms to my chest like a mummy. He’d hooked his legs around my own as well, keeping me perfectly incapacitated.

Needless to say, I was confused.

“Jordan, what are you doing?” I asked slowly.

He relaxed his legs, but kept his arms crossed over my own. “Are you awake?”

“Yes. Are you going to let me go?” I struggled a bit against his arms but he held on tight, obviously afraid I would start flailing.

He ignored my question and answered instead with one of his own. “Who’s Gavin?”

My blood ran cold at the very sound of his name, coupled with the innocent curiosity in Jordan’s voice. “Where’d you hear that name?”

His grip on my arms loosened a bit. “You fell asleep during the movie so I got up and turned the TV off, and when I came back and tried to move you to your bed you freaked out. You were having a nightmare a think. Called me Gavin a couple of times.”

“And the human straitjacket?”

“You were thrashing around like a dying fish, I was afraid you were going to hit your head on the coffee table!”

I nodded slowly, soaking up the information like a sponge. The night terrors had become routine to Max and I, but no one else had known about them until now. Jordan mistook my quiet contemplation for something else entirely.

“Don’t be embarrassed about it – Jared used to have them all the time. I had to human straitjacket him too.” He seemed to be fine now that I was awake, and he made quick work of lifting me off of his body so he could stand up and walk into the kitchen to get a beer.

He came back with two bottles and handed me one of them, taking a seat on the couch next to me before picking up the remote and turning the TV back on. When I still didn’t say anything he cut his eyes over in my direction. The corners of his mouth tugged down into a small frown.

Without saying anything else, Jordan tucked himself further into the corner formed by the back and side of the couch before lifting one arm and waving me over. I scooted over unsurely but Jordan simply hooked his arm around my shoulder and pulled my body next to his. One of his giant hands found their way to my head, where it patted my hair comfortingly. “Don’t worry, Mags. You can go to sleep. I’ll wait up for Max.”

Being this close to Jordan felt strange. Ever since I’d been in Pittsburgh I’d avoided having to touch most people. Eventually I’d gotten used to the hugs, the arms around shoulders, the random hair ruffles – but I’d never been snuggled by Jordan Staal.

There was nothing romantic or sexual about it – he simply wanted to make me feel safer. And even though it felt foreign and his side felt strange against my own, I allowed myself to rest my head against his shoulder and fall back asleep with the heavy weight of Jordan’s hand resting against my hair.