Shut Your Eyes

Sid POV

“Siiiid?”

I bit back a chuckle at Maggie’s curious slurred tone. “Yeah, Mags?”

“Where are we going?”

“I’m taking you home.” I explained. She was quiet for a second as we walked down the sidewalk before starting up again.

“Oh. Hey Sid?”

“Yeah?”

“You can put me down now.”

I grimaced. The last thing she needed to do was drunkenly stumble down the icy sidewalk in a pair of black stilettos. “I don’t know, Mags.”

“Put me down, Sidney, I am a grown woman damn it!”

An amused chuckle flew out of my mouth. This would be interesting. “Alright, Mags. Have it your way. But at least put your coat on so you don’t get sick.”

I set her down carefully, keeping a firm grip on her waist to steady her until she was ready to move. After a second or two she drunkenly swatted at my hands so I would let go and reached for the coat folded over my arm. “I can do it myself.”

I did what she asked, but kept my arms out much like a parent would with a small child learning to walk. If she fell and got hurt not only would I feel personally responsible, but Max would have a heart attack. After managing to put her coat on without any assistance, Maggie stood there for a moment with her arms held out for balance. Her glassy blue eyes seemed to focus in on one spot on the concrete below her and she stared at it for a minute before glancing back at me.

“Sid?”

“Yes?”

“I need help.”

A small smile crossed my face as I quickly moved towards her. “It’ll be easier if I just carry you, Mags.”

She nodded, but held a finger up in my general direction and softly slurred, “I may be asking for assistance with the most basic of tasks for the next couple hours, but that doesn’t mean I’ve lost a single shred of dignity.”

I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Only Maggie would be three sheets to the wind and still have a larger vocabulary than most. After I suppressed my chuckle so she didn’t think I was laughing at her, I gave her a serious nod. “Of course.”

Only after I agreed did she let me scoop her up into my arms and continue on down the sidewalk. While we were walking I noticed that she was staring up at me with a strange pensive expression on her face. The arm that was resting behind my neck and holding her upright tensed slightly and she began to play idly with my hair, never once losing the thoughtful look in her eyes.

“Something wrong, Mags?” I asked quietly.

She didn’t say anything for a second, just stared at me. The intensity of her gaze was slightly unnerving, but after a moment or two she cocked her head to the side like she was confused. “I'm so comfortable around you. It's like being in a place I've already been before.”

I didn’t know what to say to that.

It didn’t really matter though, because as quickly as she’d said it she began babbling on about something else entirely. “Sidney, did you know that butterflies taste with their feet?”

I smiled down at her and held her just a little bit closer to my chest. “I didn’t know that.”



The ride back to the house was uneventful. Maggie sat quietly in the passenger seat and drunkenly hummed along to the radio as I drove. Every so often I would glance over in her direction to see if she had fallen asleep, but every time I did I was greeted with the sight of her staring out of the window at the dark night outside of it.

Her tiny hand had found mine halfway home, something that she’d never done before. I wish that the small gesture held no power over me, but it did. It is funny how you do not miss affection until it is given, but once it is, it can never be enough; you would drown in it if possible.

I didn’t let go of her hand until we pulled into the driveway. “Alright, Mags. We’re here.”

“We’re home?” She asked curiously.

“We’re at my house, not at the condo.” I explained as I reached over and undid her seatbelt.

“I know.” She replied simply as she unsuccessfully toyed with the door handle.

I quickly got out of the car and came around so she wouldn’t fall out of the car accidentally. “Careful, Maggie, there’s ice everywhere.”

She shushed me softly and tried to keep me from helping her out of the seat. “It’s fine, I’m a pro.”

I rolled my eyes and gripped onto her anyways, unwilling to let her hurt herself. She didn’t say anything else, just let me practically lift her out of the car and guide her towards the door with one arm wrapped around the curve of her waist.

“Why are you so good to me?” She slurred curiously.

I fished my keys from my pocket with one hand and looked down at her with a small smile. “You’re my girl.”

She gave me a sleepy grin. “Really?”

I pushed the door open and nodded with a slight chuckle. “I don’t call just any girl when we’re away on road games.”

With my hands on her shoulders I guided Maggie into the dark foyer. She hobbled over towards the stairs to sit down and take her heels off while I hung up our coats in the closet and turned some lights on. As Maggie struggled with unstrapping her heels I took a second to look at her.

She was as pretty as a picture.

But as pretty as she was, I could tell that she’d had enough fun for one night. Her bright blue eyes were glossed over in the same way I’d seen her brother’s many times, and she was starting to yawn every now and then.

I nodded my head up the stairs. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed.”

She glanced up the rest of the staircase and furrowed her brows. “That’s too far away. I’ll just sleep here.”

I laughed at her whispered complaint and reached down to gently pull her to her feet before she could pass out on the stairwell. “Want me to carry you?”

Maggie nodded silently, lazily wrapping both arms around my neck so I could pick her up and carry her the rest of the way up the stairs. The house was completely quiet except for the light sound of my feet shuffling across the hardwood floor towards my bedroom.

I walked into my room without bothering to turn the lights on and set Maggie down on the bed before switching on the bedside lamp. She sat quietly and traced the faint pattern on my quilt as I made a quick trip into the closet to find her something she could sleep in. I doubted she’d fit any of my workout shorts, she was so much smaller than I was, but I’d let her be the judge of that. Drunk or not, I wasn’t about to make a decision for Maggie about whether or not she wore pants.

Something told me that waking up without pants would be more troubling to her than waking up in pants that were much too big.

I wandered back into the bedroom and saw Maggie pulling a few bobby pins out of her hair. Coffee colored curls were falling out one by one and springing down past her chest. I grinned at her as I set the t-shirt and shorts down on the bed next to her.

“I don’t know why you girls bother with putting your hair up like that, it always falls out by the end of the night anyways.”

Maggie scrunched up her nose in a slightly pouty way. “Because it looks nice for the first few hours.”

I rested my hands on either side of her on the bed and kissed her forehead. I bit back the grin that threatened to overtake my face when a contented sigh left her lips. “You hair looks nice either way. Now change your clothes so you can go to sleep.”

Maggie nodded. I tapped the sides of her legs lightly before I walked back into my closet to give her some privacy and change into more comfortable clothes myself. I hadn’t been gone five minutes before I heard her quietly calling my name from the other room.

When I peeked in to see what the problem was, I started laughing. Maggie was tangled up in her top, trying to pull it off without undoing whatever it was that was keeping it closed.

“I think I’m stuck…” She mumbled and tried unsuccessfully to wiggle her way out of the black fabric that had pinned her arms up over her head. “Help?”

I walked up behind her and realized that she’d completely forgotten to unzip the back of her top before trying to pry it off herself. “You have to unzip it, Mags, no wonder you’re stuck.”

She stood still while I found the top of the pull and unzipped her. I kept my eyes on the ceiling fan, using every ounce of willpower left in me to stop my gaze from wandering anywhere below Maggie’s neck while she pulled my t-shirt over her bare torso.

Eventually I could glance down at her, and she wiggled out of her skirt and folded it neatly before placing it on the trunk at the foot of the bed. My shirt nearly swallowed her whole. It came down almost as far as her skirt had, skimming past the middle of her thighs like a dress. She ignored the pair of shorts on the bed and climbed under the covers without another word.

Maggie stared up at me and sighed. “Jordan thinks you should be my boyfriend.”

“Is that so?” I asked amusedly.

She nodded. Her eyes were still glassy from all the liquor she’d had to drink, but her lids were starting to get heavy. The dancing, excited girl I’d pulled off of the table was long gone, now there was just a sleepy girl with no filter on that perfect mouth of hers.

I took her chin in my fingers and made sure she was looking at me. “I am going to be your boyfriend. I am. There’s nothing in the whole world that I want more than to be able to call you mine. But I’m not going to ask you to be my girl when you’re too drunk to stand, or just because Jordan thinks I should. I’m going to ask you when the time is right. I’m going to ask you when you’re going to remember it the next day. Deal?”

The blank gaze on her face was hardly reassuring, but I knew she’d understood me when I saw a familiar spark behind her eyes. She gave me a short nod. “Deal.”

“Good. Now go to sleep.”

I leaned in and kissed her on the forehead before standing up and heading for the door, turning the lamp off on my way out. A tiny hand shot out from under the covers and latched onto my wrist.

“Where are you going?” She asked.

“To sleep in the guest room.” I explained quietly.

“Stay with me?” She whispered. “Keep the monsters away?”

A smile tugged at the edge of my mouth. Apparently along with being the type to dance on tables, Maggie was also afraid of monsters in the closet when she’d had too much to drink.

Without a second thought I pulled back the covers and crawled into the bed beside her. She attached herself to my side before tangling her legs with mine and resting one hand on my chest. With a contented sigh she finally closed her eyes and resigned herself to sleep, no more talk of monsters in the closet or Jordan’s relationship advice.

She just fell asleep.

And with the steady beat of her heart against my side and the even sounds of her breath against my skin I fell asleep alongside her, the heady smell of her perfume being the last thing I remembered before passing out completely.



Maggie POV

Normally waking up to the sun pouring in through the windows would put a smile on my face, but not today. You know things aren’t going anywhere good when you’re actually woken up by your headache. I wanted nothing more than to fork my own eyeballs and dunk them in a vat of ice-water, and that was probably why I didn’t notice the arm wrapped around my waist until I tried to roll over.

I panicked at first.

I wasn’t in my own bed, I wasn’t in my pajamas, and I was 99% sure that I didn’t have pants on.

Once I took a second to breathe in, I calmed down. The familiar smell of Old Spice and cinnamon flooded my senses and I realized where I was, and by default, whose arm was deadlocked around my body. This presented another problem entirely, however, because I had no recollection of how I ended up in Sidney’s bed without pants on.

Sid was still asleep. Today they had a much needed break, so there were no alarms beckoning him away. He got to sleep in today – a rare occurrence for him – and he seemed to be taking full advantage of it.

I could feel the steady, even flow of his breath hitting the skin on the back of my neck as he slept. The arm he had wrapped around my waist tightened ever so slightly. I considered going back to sleep, but the need for Advil and a glass of water outweighed my desire for another hour of napping.

Carefully wrapping my fingers around his wrist, I pried his arm off of my body as slowly as I could. I didn’t want to wake him up, that could lead to an awkward morning, but I wasn’t going to lay there and wait around for Sidney to wake up first.

He didn’t stir as I rolled myself out from under his grip and planted my feet firmly on the hardwood below me. In a quick bit of thinking, I replaced my body with the pillow that had been beneath my head so Sid would still have something to cuddle with. His arm immediately curled around the fluffy white rectangle, pulling it to his chest unconsciously.

I stifled a giggle and smiled at the sight of him. Any other time, Sidney looked like a man. He was quite serious when he wanted to be, especially with the determined set of his jaw and the steely fire that burned behind his amber eyes. Here in his bed, though, he almost looked like a child. His hair was getting shaggier and messy curls were all over the place, some nearly blocking my view of his eyes.

I resisted the urge to reach down and brush the wisps of hair away from his face and instead wandered out of his room in search of some pain medication and maybe even some coffee. I hadn’t bothered to find any pants; Sid’s shirt came down long enough to keep most of my thighs covered, and it’s not like I had plans to go out in public.

I traipsed downstairs and noticed how quiet everything was. Sid’s house was always quiet, or at least it was before I forced my iPod upon him, but it seemed even more-so in the early morning. Every step I took seemed to echo against the freshly painted walls.

Maybe it was just the hangover. It did seem to make noises noisier and lights brighter. I could still feel my brain sloshing around in my skull; I’d almost forgotten how that felt. In that moment I would’ve given almost anything to not remember how that felt.

The kitchen was flooded by the sunlight that streamed in through the many windows. I grimaced and stumbled around with squinted eyes, desperate to find the cabinet I knew had a bottle of Advil hidden in it. After a few minutes of searching I finally found it hiding behind a container of protein powder. Without bothering to get water first, I dry-swallowed three of the tiny pills and took a moment to lean against the counter with my eyes closed.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

My moment of clarity made me realize that there was really only one thing that I wanted more than for my headache to magically disappear: food.

A little bit of greasy breakfast food could do wonders for a hangover, and I figured Sid wouldn’t mind waking up to find breakfast already fixed. I rifled through his pantry and fridge before deciding that he had everything I needed to make my famous blueberry pancakes, as well as some bacon.

Sid loves bacon, it’s one of his many delightful quirks.

As quickly as I could with my head pounding, I got to work on the pancake batter and tried to figure out where Sidney hid the griddle. After finding it in the cabinet over the oven I started cooking – pancakes on one half and bacon on the other. While listening to the food sizzle away on the griddle I took the chance to lean back against the sink and close my eyes again.

“You left me.”

I opened my eyes and saw Sid leaning against the archway into the kitchen. He had a sleepy smile on his face and his hair was still a mess.

I gave him a small smirk. “The kitchen was calling my name.”

Sidney rolled his eyes and walked over to where I was standing. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed a soft kiss to my cheek before resting his chin on my shoulder with a sigh. “You didn’t have to cook, you know.”

I glanced over at him. “I know.”

“How does your head feel?” He asked with a teasing tone to his voice.

I frowned at him slightly. “Awful.”

He chuckled. “I have to say, I’m pretty impressed. You put away a lot of liquor.”

“I’ll have to take your word for it; I can’t remember a damn thing.” I muttered and flipped the pancakes.

“Well, let’s see. When I got to the bar you were knocking back cocktails with Jordan, and then by the end of the night you were singing along to Joan Jett & The Blackhearts and dancing on top of a table.” I grimaced as he chuckled at the memory.

“Don’t worry though, I pulled you off and took you home before you could do anything embarrassing.”

“I think dancing on top of a table is embarrassing enough.” I mumbled, feeling my cheeks heat up just slightly.

Sidney pulled me a bit closer and pressed another kiss to my cheek. “No worries, Mags. I thought it was cute.”

I turned my head a bit to look at him. “You’re biased.”

He smiled at my whispered words. “Maybe just a bit.”

He snagged a piece of bacon right off of the griddle and popped half of it in his mouth. I lazily swatted his arm with the spatula. “You’re going to burn yourself if you aren’t careful.”

“I’ll take my chances.” He mumbled as he chewed, letting go of me to plug his phone into the charger on the counter. “By the way, Vero wants you to call her.”

I raised an eyebrow in confusion. “What?”

He shrugged. “Apparently you didn’t answer her phone calls, so she called me. Said to tell you to call her as soon as you could.”

“Did she say what it was about?”

Sidney shook his head and pulled two plates out of the cabinet behind us. “No, but it seemed important, whatever it was about.”

I shrugged and put a couple of pancakes onto each of the plates he had in his hands. “I’ll call her after breakfast.”

Whatever she wanted would just have to wait.



I wandered into the little French café that Vero and I were so fond of and scanned the edges of the tables for her face. After spotting her at a booth in the corner I hurried over there and slid into the seat across from her.

“Where’s the fire, Veronique?” I teased as I kicked my heels off under the table. I’d been lucky enough to find a pair of jeans I’d accidentally left at Sid’s house after painting in them, so I wasn’t forced to wear my skirt from the night before. I was, however, still stuck in my heels.

“Who’s Gavin?” She asked.

I stared up at her for a moment in shock. “Excuse me?”

“Gavin. Who is he?”

My mouth was gaping open like a fish that had been out of water for too long. I struggled to find the right words to answer her question, my brain was grasping at straws trying to come up with an excuse for her. Where had she heard his name before?

She saw my struggle to find an answer for her question and sighed. A small hand went to massage her temple. “Last night at the bar you started talking about your ex-boyfriend.”

I stayed silent, not quite sure what to say to her. My mind was reeling. She wasn’t supposed to find out like this; she wasn’t supposed to find out at all. No one was.

“Is it true?” She asked quietly. Vero’s eyes were full of pity. I could only imagine what details I’d divulged the night before. There was a very good reason for why I rarely drank too much, and now it was staring me in the face.

“No one was supposed to find out.” I whispered.

She visibly deflated, reaching out to take one of my hands in hers. “Margaux, I am so sorry.”

I shook my head. “Don’t do that, V. Don’t look at me like that.”

She sighed. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“It’s not exactly dinner conversation.” I mumbled. “Who else heard me?”

“Jordan. Marc knows too, you know I can’t keep secrets from him.” She seemed a bit guilty about telling Marc. I waved her off, he would’ve found out eventually.

Vero leaned in a bit and gave me a pointed look. “Margaux, you know we love you, right?”

I nodded with a sigh. “I know.”

“Nothing about you or your past could ever change that. No matter what.”

It was at this point that the waitress chose to come over and interrupt our conversation, leaving me silent as Vero ordered for the two of us. I couldn’t have cared less what she told the waitress to bring, I wasn’t really hungry.

I could feel my own charade crumbling down around me, and the very thought of it made me sick to my stomach.