Music to My Ears

Three days passed since the ‘incident’ and I haven’t talked to Jonny since then. I would like to think that it was awkward (because it was at first) but it wasn’t. At all. It felt almost right. Like he was supposed to kiss me. I looked around my apartment and saw his jacket on the back of my kitchen stool. Dammit. I still have his jacket… A replay of that scene suddenly popped in my head again.
I closed my eyes, and we stood there and kissed. Oh shit. Deidre, what are you doing!? I pulled away and left my hands on his shoulders. “Dee, what’s wrong?” he asked me with a worried expression. I shook my head as I backed away from him and finally turned around and ran off.
I closed my eyes and put my hand on my forehead. I looked at the clock, and I had an hour to get ready and be at rehearsal. “Shit!” I quickly changed and ran out of my apartment after grabbing my violin and music. I had an extra 45 minutes before rehearsal, so I decided to walk. It was a twenty minute walk from my apartment anyways, so why not get a little exercise. I walked while listening to my iPhone sing me music. I was focused on the sidewalk when I accidently ran into someone. “Sorry…” I mumbled before deking right and kept walking. “Hey, Deidre! Wait up!” I heard someone call behind me. I looked over, and Andrew was jogging over to me with a smile on his face. I smiled before putting my phone away and giving him a hug. “How are you?” he asked kindly. I felt awful about the other night. But we’re not even dating! You’re not dating anyone! What do you feel awful about? I put a smile on before telling him that I was doing well. He smiled and asked, “Where are you off to?” I laughed before saying, “Orchestra rehearsal, where else?” He chuckled and asked if he could walk with me. I agreed and we started toward the Symphony Center. We talked and laughed comfortably for the whole walk. We talked about hockey, which led to the boys, which led to embarrassing stories about Jon. We were both cracking up at one story where he was hitting on a girl in junior high trying to impress his friends and she just gave him a flat out no. “His face was priceless!” We both calmed down and walked further.
I took about ten steps before I realized that Andrew wasn’t walking next to me anymore. I looked behind me with a confused expression on my face and found him standing there smiling at me. “Is something wrong, Andrew?” I was running through a list of things in my head about my outfit. Shirt wrinkled? No. Hair sticking out? Nope. Zipper down? God, no. What was he looking at? He chuckled before saying, “Stop worrying about how you look, Deidre. That’s not what I was looking at. I was looking at your pretty face,” he said winking. I let out a sigh of relief. “You look beautiful all of the time anyways.” I blushed. It’s not every day that I get compliments like that. I awkwardly looked at my feet until Andrew took my chin and made me look at him. “Deidre, I really like you. Would you go on a date with me?” He raised an eyebrow. I made a small smile, tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and thought. What about Jon? Was that a fluke? He’s been trying to call me for the past three days, but I’ve been ignoring him! Andrew is nice, and very handsome… I already trust him, and I haven’t dated since my career kicked off… Why not? “Sure. I’d love to, Andrew,” I finally responded. He let out a huge sigh. I laughed. “What, were you nervous, all-star rookie?” I jokingly punched his forearm. Damn, those muscles! He chuckled, “You have no idea.” He grabbed my hand and laced his fingers through mine and we finished our walk to the Symphony Center.
I miraculously made it to rehearsal on time, and Andrew promised to call later that night to make plans for tomorrow. Today’s rehearsal was rough. We had a Russian guest conductor who didn’t speak very good English, and I somehow became the loose translator. He would point things out and explain things in the little English he knew, and I would stand up explain it to my peers. Percussion decided to get a kick out of it, and asked me details about what I was explaining to aggravate me. I glared at them and seemed to shut them up for the rest of rehearsal. I packed up quickly and went outside. It was raining. Great. The one day you walk. I looked to my right and left when something caught my eye. I looked at it before realizing that Jon was standing in the rain with a bouquet of a dozen roses.
I stood there in disbelief and took in what was in front of me. He sent a half smile that melted my heart before he walked towards me. “Jon- what- what are you doing here?” I managed to stutter out before he laughed. “What? I can’t bring my best friend who happens to be a star soloist some flowers?” he questioned. I flushed and smiled at him. “I’d offer you a ride, but I decided to walk to rehearsal…what a bunch of good that did,” I muttered. He chuckled and grabbed my free hand while calling for a cab. “I was on a walk when it started to rain, too.”
We climbed into the cab and gave him my address. I was still smiling at Jon’s gesture, and when I looked up at the cab driver, he wiggled his eyebrows and winked at me. I flushed and quickly looked out the window. Jon grabbed my hand and lazily traced circles with his thumb. “Dee, please say something…” he whispered. I turned and looked at our hands. “Jonny…why did you kiss me the other day?” I whispered back. He smiled at me. “Deidre, you looked so beautiful on stage at the concert, and I realized how much I liked you. But then when we were all at the bar, I saw you and Andrew, and I felt so jealous. Walking with you in the park made me feel like I was right where I should be, and I don’t know, it felt like the right thing to do in the moment…” he trailed off. I just looked at him. What was I supposed to say? The taxi pulled up to my apartment, and I started to pull out my wallet until Jon handed the cabbie and twenty and told him to keep the change. I shot him a look, to which he replied by smirking. He knows fully well that I hate when he pays for everything. While walking to the door, I asked him, “Okay, then question two. What are the roses for?” I fished out my keys from my purse and opened the door. We stepped inside, and I set my violin my purse down on the kitchen table. I was about to turn around for an answer when he grabbed my hand and spun me around to face him. “They’re for asking you if you wanted to go out sometime. As more than friends…” he trailed off while blushing at the ground. Oh crap. You’re kidding me right? “Jonny, why do you want to be with me? I’m plain, and nothing special…” I escaped his grasp and started to put the roses in a vase. I heard him sigh, and imagined him running a frustrated hand through his hair because that’s what he usually does when he’s frustrated. “Dee, that’s only what you see in the mirror. You’re so much more than that. You’re beautiful, smart, funny, stubborn, and know me probably better then I know myself. Why wouldn’t I want to go out with you?” he looked at me desperately. I muttered, “Because Andrew asked me out this morning…” I looked at the ground. We stood in silence for what seemed like an eternity before he whispered, “I need to go.” I looked at his sad face and my heart fell. I started, “Jon, wait-“ but was cut short when he slammed the door to my apartment. “Don’t do this to me.” I lost the best friend that I had just gotten back, and that’s what hurt the most.