Fallacies of Fidelity

“Ruby, I swear to God. If you do not give me that cookie jar, I'm not going to bake cookies ever again.”

My little sister gasped so loud, it echoed throughout the kitchen. She ran over to me and held the jar for me like it was burning her. I snatched it from her, took a cookie, and looked her in the eye as I took a bite. “That's not fair Alec!”

“Yeah, well it's criminal how adorable you are. Get to the dining room and finish your homework. You can have one cookie after you're done.” I said.

“One?” Ruby whined when she threw her head back.

“You're pushing your luck, pumpkin.” I replied with a glare. She finally gave me a groan then she was gone.

I'd been actively avoiding my dad like he was a leper. He's been buried in this new deal he was so I've been bumped down on his priority list. Praise God. Drew wouldn't give me the details on what they're working on but I wouldn't go so far as to ask my father; I'd rather bungee jump off the Empire State Building. My father was suspicious of me and he has a way of squeezing details from people. So, I'd been giving them a wide berth.

Another race was lined up tonight which marks the solid month since Haley Winters started racing here in New York. All the racing regulars were coming tonight. A highway was getting construction work starting Sunday morning so we knew the road would be cleared. It was all set. I wouldn't be racing, but I knew around eight other racers who would be trying their luck against Julia. The unlucky bastards.

I ran up to my room to grab my bag of shit when a body crashed into me.

“Oh sorry, I didn't see you there.” I grabbed shoulders to steady them when I realized it was Mila. When I got eye level, I realized something was wrong. Her eyes were glassy and she seemed to look right through me. A tear fell out of one eye. “Mila...”

“Mila!” Nick shouted when he came barreling into the hallway with us. “Mila please.” My brother looked like his knees were about to buckle.

“Please let me go.” Her voice was flat, emotionless. My fingers had barely let up some pressure when she strutted away from me.

“Mila! Mila!” Nick went to move past but I wrapped both arms around him so he couldn't move. “What the fuck? Let me go. Mila!” I dragged him to his room, then slammed the door shut. “Alec, I swear to God. Move the hell out of my way.”

“Let her go.” I said firmly. Nick had started to shake his head. “If there is one thing I have learned from the Haddock's so far, it's that they know what is best for them. Let her go.” I said again.

“No, you don't understand.” He gripped his hair as he tried to pull it out. Nick started to wear a path in his carpet as he began pacing. “She doesn't know what's best for her. Mila needs me.” I blinked.

“Excuse me? You sound like you mean more than just as a tutor. You better explain yourself. What is going on between you two.” I stopped when I saw him staring at a picture on his bed. It was a picture of Mila and Nick in their school uniforms with his arm thrown around her shoulders. He was grinning ear to ear, something I hadn't seen him do since before our mom died. Mila looked like she was in mid eye roll. “Are you dating the sister of my girlfr--” I paused.

“That's right.” He let out a harsh laugh. “You can't even call her your girlfriend because you two haven't figured that part out yet. Well, let me tell you something. Mila is my girlfriend.” Nick looked so defiant.

I almost choked. “Your girlfriend?”

“Yeah, it became official a few days ago before...” Nick trailed off but he didn't continue.

“What happened?”

“She... We were talking about the summer and I suggested driving to Connecticut... for Jennings beach.” He stopped pacing, scrubbing his hand over his hair. “She just started packing her stuff. I didn't realize it until she was already opening my door. I grabbed her waist to stop her and she... she...” He shook his head like he refused to say it.

“What she do, Nick?” I asked.

“Mila jerked away from me like I burned her.” His voice became quiet. “I don't understand what I did wrong.” My heart broke for my little brother. I wanted to tell him something happened and that Julia and I were trying to figure it out but I couldn't. It wasn't my secret to share. It would feel wrong to tell him unless I asked Julia for permission.

“Look,” I stopped. My back was beginning to turn and I was about to make up and excuse to leave but I just couldn't. Nick had sat in the corner of his bed, staring at his hands. I couldn't leave him alone. “Is your homework done?”

“I finished hours ago. Being an overachiever sucks.” He muttered.

“How about you come out with me tonight.” I said.

Nick slowly looked up until he was staring in my eyes. “Really?”

“Just make sure you bring a hat of some sort.” Nick wasn't 18 yet, so I knew the media wouldn't give two shits about him until his birthday. Still, you can't be too careful.

“Um, yeah okay.” He nodded and immediately started getting a few things. Nick and I weren't exactly very close. I mean we were as close as brothers could be when you're seven years older than the other one. Also as close as you can be when I raised him more than our own father. But, I never invited Nick anywhere with me. He would ask, sure, but I never told him. Tonight seemed like a good time. It would also get his mind off Mila. “I'm, uh, ready.” He had pulled on a hoodie over his baseball cap, which could perfectly hide his face in the dark.

I piled the stuff I needed for tonight in a backpack and nodded him to follow me. When we reached the living room, I bribed my nephew to look after Ruby. Looks like you can still make anyone do anything for money, even a eight year old. Then we were gone. I drove us all the way to Rex's shop in under ten minutes. Hopping out of my car, I heading into the garage, hoping Nick was following me.

“...Because I don't want to, Rex!” I heard Julia's strangled yell. I hadn't seen her in a few days now.

Each day this week I told her I'd see her the next day. When the next day came, she would make up some excuse to not see me. Something was up but whenever I called her, Julia would send me straight to voice mail. I walked past the Suburban obscuring my view of her until I could see the back of her. Her hair looked crazy in a haphazard ponytail on the top of her head. She also looked a little thinner. Julia's tank top hung a little looser than it normally would, with a strap struggling to make it's way off her right shoulder. “Stop pushing this.” Her voice sounded terribly scratchy. As I took a few steps closer, I could tell she was shaking a little as she stood off with Rex. Though, I couldn't tell if it was due to anger or if she was just cold.

“Julia.” Rex's voice carried a warning when he looked me in the eyes. She turned and I could see she looked worse than she sounded. Dark circles framed under eyes that were blinking quickly. A vein down the center of her forehead was pulsing steadily. Julia's whole face was red; maybe she really was angry or perhaps she was embarrassed. Probably a combination of the two.

“Whoa, you look like shit.”

“Shut up, Nick.” Julia and I said to my little brother at the same time.

He ignored us and his gulp was audible. “I didn't know you smoked.” My head snapped to Julia and then down to her hand.

“Yeah, well old habits die hard.” She brought the cigarette to her lips, closing her eyes as she breathed in. In that short time, the vein had disappeared and her skin was going back to it's normal slightly tanned tone. Her body seemed to relax as she put her hand down, holding the smoke in. It was a good ten second later before she finally let the smoke out from her nose. “God, I missed that.”

Rex looked like he was going to rip Julia a new one. “He's going to be here tonight if you don't agree, Winters.” Just like that, the tension was back in her body. Her eyes closed so hard, she looked like she was going to give herself an aneurism.

“You can really kill a girl's buzz, you know that? Go buy a dildo for me, give it to him, then tell him he can go fuck himself.”

“You'll have the honor of doing that yourself. For a nice guy, he has connections and he does not take no for an answer.”

I watched them stare off for a few seconds before my curiosity won out. “Who are we talking about?”

Julia shook her head and took another drag from her cigarette. Rex flexed his biceps before looking over to me. “Wally Gordon.” I ground my teeth.

“I swear I thought you had more fun on the weekends, Alec. If I had know you hosted your own personal Gossip Girl every week, I would have stayed home.” Nick walked from behind me to sit in a stool next to where Julia was standing. She glared at him. “That being said, who is Wally Gordon?”

I waited for the other two to answer but when they didn't, I was forced to give him the low down. “Wally Gordon hosts all the street races in Miami. It's his turf. He's known to have the best races because he only lets the best street racers have a go. To those who are close friends of his, they know he's a childhood friend of Morgan Williams. Gordon is a manipulative fuck.”

“Wait... 'Mad Dog?' He knows 'Mad Dog' Williams? That's crazy! What an opportunity! Have you guys seen that video on Youtube of him getting beaten out by Haley Winters? Man, that was awesome! Okay, sorry for rambling but isn't street racing kind of illegal?” Nick finally shut up. Julia was staring down at her feet, her thick vest was pulled up closer to her face.

“Rex, give Nick the abridged version. Julia can I speak to you? Alone.” I asked but I didn't wait for an answer from either of them. She stumbled a bit when I grabbed her arm and yanked her outside where Rex kept our street racing cars. I took a step closer, getting ready to scold her but then the smell hit me.

“Are you drunk?”

“Fuck no. I don't drink and drive, Alec. I'm not an idiot.” She went to take another drag of her cigarette but I snatched it from her.

“What the hell is wrong with you? You reek of alcohol, you're smoking, and you haven't been answering any of my calls.”

“Well, it's been a busy week. What can I say?” Julia sat down on the grass, staring at my hand that held the cigarette.

“A busy week doing what?”

“Getting to know some guys.” She answered and my jaw clenched in response. “Jameson... Evan... Johnnie... Jack.” I knit my eyebrows together. It took a few seconds, but when I understood, I sat down in the grass.

“You must really like your whiskey.”

“No one takes me away from my boys.” She flopped onto her back.

“Smoking?” I asked as I put out the cigarette into the dirt.

Julia groaned. “I started up again.”

“When?”

“Yesterday.” She let out. I waited for her to answer the question I wasn't asking. “I smoked when I was younger just before I left for Africa. Rex was a bad influence. I only started because he was smoking too.” Julia laughed. I laid back in the grass with her. “It was so stupid. I smoked on an off when I first got to Africa just because the cigarettes were harder to come by. That is, until I started to race again. Then, I was smoking a pack a week.” She scrunched her eyebrows and pursed her lips.

“What made you quit?” I asked.

“Racing.” Her head turned so she was looking at me. “It was making me feel more at ease than smoking ever did.”

“So... what changed?” I could tell I asked a question she didn't want to answer. The fingers on her stomach started to twitch.

“I could really use a cigarette right now.”

“I want to tell you something.” I said. Julia looked into my eyes, encouraging me to go on. “My um...” I paused. It was still hard to say out loud. “My mom died of lung cancer about five years ago.” I let out a breath of air I didn't realize I was holding in.

“Oh, Alec. Ah, shit. I'm sorry.” Her hand found mine and she entwined my fingers with hers.

“It was a long time ago. My father was an avid smoker. My mom had tried so many times to get him to stop but it wasn't until she was diagnosed with lung cancer that he stopped. She never put a cigarette to her lips, but it was her husband's second hand smoke that killed her.” I felt a squeeze. Julia looked extremely pale but she was giving me a small smile that made me go on. “The treatment was going relatively well. She spent all her time with Drew, Nick, and I. We all thought we could get through anything. Then, the unthinkable happened to her. She got pregnant.” I heard Julia gasp and then it was my turn to squeeze. “I know. The doctors said the treatment would harm the baby and they suggested she have an abortion. Of course, my mom refused. She wanted to give us all one more gift.” I wanted to laugh but I knew it would come out hysterical so I swallowed it. “My mom died not too long after she had Ruby. She was so weak. God, I will never get that image of her out of my head.”

The last time I saw my mom was after she has Ruby. She wanted to see all her children before she died. The bed looked too big for her thin frail body. Her hair had grown out a little from the last time she had chemotherapy but it still wasn't long enough that she couldn't hide it beneath a hat. She really used to love her hats. Sometimes, I wish I was Nick's age when she died. Maybe if I were twelve instead of nineteen when it happened, I wouldn't have remembered it so vividly.

“Alec?” I started at the sound of Julia's voice.

“Sorry.” I apologized.

She was staring deeply into my eyes, like she was studying me. Like she was searching for something. She must have found it because then Julia nodded. With a deep breath, she looked up into the sky. “I think my father is cheating on my mother.” Julia whispered. I raised my eyebrows. “I heard some very compelling evidence when I walked past his office.”

“No way, she was with your father in the house?”

“No, no. She wasn't banging him in the house. They were talking.” She continued on to tell me about the conversation all the while, her thumb stroked the back of my hand. I could barely concentrate on her words because of that stupid little thumb. But, I had to admit, she was right. It was some compelling evidence.

“So, that was why you've reacquainted yourself with old friends?” I asked.

“I wish I was strong enough not to have fallen into old ways, but yeah. That's the reason.” She suck her bottom lip between her teeth. Inappropriate thoughts were spawned when she looked so open and honest. Goddammit. “I don't know what to do?” She made it sound like a question.

“Alec! How is it your baby brother doesn't know the difference between a V8 and V12 engine?” Rex roared. I groaned and got up. With my hand still in Julia's, I helped her up.

“We can figure it out, alright?” I stared into her eyes. She looked doubtful, but she nodded. We headed back into the shop.

“V8? Like the tomato juice?” On my way over to Rex, I slapped Nick upside the head. “Ow! What the hell?”

“V8 the juice? You know, for valedictorian of your class, you sure are dumb.” I chuckled.

“Sorry my brother is secretly the Batman of all mechanics and I didn't know! Also, that he's with the Haley Winters!” Nick exclaimed. Julia rolled her eyes.

“Hey, if anyone's the Batman of mechanics, it's me.” She said. Rex's eye locked onto our hands and then he shook his head with a chuckle.

“I won't argue with that.” Rex said. Tension fell over the room and I tried to get everyone comfortable again.

“Okay, so here's a question I've been dying to ask.” I started. “I understand Rex is gay but what I don't understand is how you both were dating for so long. Did you just not know?” I asked. “Is that insensitive?” I cocked my head to the side. Then again, maybe this wasn't the best question to ask.

“Coming from anyone else, maybe.” Rex started “Coming from you? Definitely.” He laughed at his own joke.

“Oh shut up, Rex.” Julia squeezed my hand. “Technically, about two month before I left for Africa, we were on an indefinite break.”

“Indefinite?” I asked.

“Yeah, well, that happens when you catch your boyfriend making out with your waiter during a date.”

I heard Nick gasp. “What? Really? What happened next.” I almost scolded him but I was happy he was getting his mind off Mila. Also, his questions seemed to come right from my own thoughts..

“I already knew, I was just waiting for him to tell me. We dated for four years and he thought I didn't know by the third year. Actually I don't think he even knew by our third year dating.”

“I was so terrified she was going to rip my balls off. I really should have known better.” Rex scrubbed the back of his neck. “By the last year we were dating, we had slipped into a better friendship than we did in a relationship. I remember when she caught me making out with that waiter. I was thinking, 'this is how it ends. My life will end by the death glare of Julia Haddock.'” Nick and I were laughing. “Then tell them what you did next.”

Julia shrugged, suddenly finding her shoes interesting. “I gave the waiter Rex's number and told him he liked top.”

Nick howled with laughter. I didn't realize my jaw was slack until Julia pointed it out. “Oh. My. God.” I let out a breathy laugh. “That might have been the best story I've ever heard.” At least the tension was diffused, for now.