We Only Breathe for so Long

“Lisette, how long are you going to stand there staring off into space?” I shook my head and turned to Isa looking impatient.

“Is it bad to feel attached to this very room?” I didn’t want to leave this place but as much as I hated to say it, it was quite boring being here. She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“Come on Lisette, we’ll be back here before you know it.” I beamed and she rolled her eyes again, a smile toying on her lips. She casually walked away leaving me with my own thoughts for a while. The guys were already packing our stuff in the cars but as much as I tried to tell them I could put mine by my own, they were stubborn. I gave one last look at our room, remembering every detail of it, and went downstairs. My red hair was pulled back into a ponytail leaving all traces of imperfection evident in my face.

Isa was waiting for me with the book I was reading the night before. She asked me if she could borrow it and of course, I said yes. She was too pre-occupied with reading to even notice me. I cleared my throat then she looked up with a hint of a smile on her face.

“Finally,” she groaned. I shrugged and we both went to our respective cars. I mean, we went to her car since I don’t have one uhm. We both went outside, already feeling sticky and bitter because of the sun’s rays. I got a glimpse of John shirtless and to be honest, I hated the fact that I found him hot. I huffed and quickly averted my eyes from the view in front of me. Isa on the other hand, was too busy reading that she actually bumped into him. I sucked a deep breath prepared for the worst.

“Hey there.” John smirked at the girl and I was just…there witnessing all of it.

Isa looked up and for a moment there I saw her soft façade falter but she covered it up with a tight face. Instead of yelling at him like I thought she would, she simply turned around and ignored him, walking away like she was used to seeing John half-naked.John stood there obviously confused. His eyes met mine but I just waved my hands as a sign saying, “I don’t really know okay”. I briskly went over to Isa who was now clutching the book. I snatched it away from her and checked the cover, hoping that it didn’t get ruined. I’m very OC when it comes to books.

“Isa, if you’re going to borrow my books please do know that I—“I stopped talking once I saw her cheeks flush. She held her hands on her face and groaned loudly. She stomped her way to her car while I followed her since I actually cared. I was thankful that the guys were too busy packing to notice Isa and me. Despite telling me that she had no feelings whatsoever for John, I find it hard to believe her.
She went inside her car and sat there for a few minutes trying to compose herself. I sat down at the passenger seat still holding the book while watching her breath in and out, cheeks still red. “God why does he have to be so hot.” She mumbled, staring blindly in front. I stifled a giggle and watched her some more. She finally looked at me, her blue eyes trying to figure me out.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I held up my hands and shrugged.

“Uh…jealous of your beauty?” I replied. She snorted at me and leaned back, playing with the ends of her hair aimlessly. We left the doors open, letting the air cool our warm skin. It’s funny how the guys did all the work for us…it makes me think that we’re some kind of princesses…not. I sighed and placed the book on Isa’s lap. She eagerly grabbed it and continued reading. I wanted to ask her more about John and her relationship but I guess that’s one story I won’t be hearing.

We sat in uncomfortable silence. I was fumbling around with my nails, completely bored when I heard the back door open. I sat up with a jolt and sighed in relief when it was only Garrett. He fanned himself and looked at the two of us who weren’t talking at all. He raised his eyebrows in confusion while I just shook my head.

Isa looked up from her book and her eyes lit up when she saw him. “What’s up, Garrett?”

He coughed a bit and shrugged. “We’re all ready to go. The guys told me to stay here since you’re both girls and uh…it’s dangerous for girls to be alone.” I rolled my eyes and cursed at whoever thought of this.

“Aw. Who forced you to do this?” Isa asked. Garrett chuckled and ruffled his hair.

“Kennedy asked me to.” Okay scratch that cursing thing.Isa rolled her eyes and shut her door. I did the same and watched the two cars retreat from the grounds. Isa started the engine and immediately turned on the air conditioner. We all sighed in pleasure as the cool air wafted inside the car. We backed away from John’s house and drove away. I kept glancing at the mirror watching it fade away until it was no more.

~~

In the middle of our ride home, Isa and Garrett decided to switch roles since she got tired of driving but honestly I think all she wanted to do was sleep. Garrett was too much of a good guy to actually refuse though. I tapped my fingers against the window, drumming to the beat of a song playing on the car’s radio. Garrett hummed the melody; occasionally singing whenever he thought Isa would finally fall asleep.

“How much longer are we going to stay here?” Isa groaned from the back, a few blond strands falling on her face. Garrett shrugged and looked the mirror to see her face.

“A few more minutes, I guess.”

“Great! Hey Lisette, you’ve been awfully quiet this whole time. Aren’t you supposed to be excited or something? We are going to a carnival of some sorts.”

“I am excited…it’s just that…” I trailed off, realizing that I’m on the verge of exposing my fear of heights, which is basically the whole point of this ride. I was going to ride a roller coaster or something since it is part of my bucket list. I really do wonder what made me write that in the first place. “I’m actually scared of heights.”

Isa laughed out loud while Garrett tried his best to stop his laughter. I rolled my eyes and looked out the window. “I get it guys. Stop laughing or else I’ll personally ruin your lives,” I muttered.

“Really? Is that the best threat you can make?” I stuck my tongue out at Isa and ignored any further comments about my fear of heights. I felt somewhat annoyed at them for making fun of me but all of that disappeared when I saw a glimpse of a Ferris wheel. My face suddenly got stuck near the window, which earned a laugh from Garrett.

“Yeah, you really are excited.” Isa did the same and her eyes were practically bulging out of their sockets.

“I want to ride that.” She mumbled staring at the Ferris wheel as Garret drove us farther away from the view. I finally casted my eyes away when I saw John’s familiar car in front of us.

“Woah, since when did we catch up to them?” I asked curiously. We rarely saw any of the guy’s cars when we left the house.

“When you guys fell asleep,” Garrett replied.

“We fell asleep?!” Isa and I said in unison. Then we all started laughing at how ridiculous we sounded. Garrett followed John’s car and a few minutes later, we parked our cars just outside the carnival’s barriers. It was located in the middle of nowhere but I find it hard to believe that a lot of people are going in and out of the gates. I opened the door and breathed in the warm air that smelled like dust and sweat. I gagged afterwards regretting that decision. Breathing too much of that would be bad for my health. I stretched around for a bit and watched the other guys come out of their respective cars.

My eyes found Kennedy’s and I instantly smiled at him. He smiled back at me and walked over causing my heart to beat irregularly. I panicked wondering if my transplant did fail but realized that it might be because I was so nervous.

“Hey Lisette.”

“Hey Kennedy.” He chuckled and glanced at the carnival grounds. I did the same and a grin was permanently stuck on my face. There was a Ferris wheel, a huge rollercoaster and a few colorful tents surrounding the area.

“Are you nervous?” I gave a shaky laugh and actually nodded.

“There’s a first time for everything.” I replied with a smile on my face. You know that feeling you get when everything seems right and there’s nothing that can stop this feeling? Well it felt as if I was suspended in air because I just can’t believe that I’m actually going to a freaking carnival.

“Guys! Are you coming over here or what?” I peeked behind Kennedy to see Isa once again looking pissed. I laughed and glanced at Kennedy who was also doing the same thing.

“I guess we should go now…” He mumbled. We walked over to them only to see Isa tapping her foot like a mother and John texting away on his phone. I have a feeling that there’s going to be a lot of tension on this journey.

“First thing’s first, Lisette, can you please give us your phone?” I reluctantly gave mine to Jared and he instantly pressed on its keys then he started passing it around. It came back to me with six new numbers. “In case you get lost or anything, give us a call.” Jared winked at me while I smiled in return.

“Now what?” Garrett asked, adjusting his shades.

“Let’s go ride that one!” Pat pointed at the humongous roller coaster I was staring at a while ago. I gulped loudly and felt Kennedy’s reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“Can’t we eat first? I’m starving,” Isa said with a frown on her face.

“Okay then, eat a bit then we’ll go to the rides,” Jared said.

“Will we be in pairs?” Garrett asked again. I hoped not. Well maybe I did but I was too scared to even think about that.

“If you want,” Jared replied with a smile.

“Okay.” John suddenly decided to converse with us. He stopped texting and gave us smiles. “I’ll be with Isa and Garrett. Pat will be with Lisette and Kennedy will be with Jared.”

“You can’t just make decisions for us!” Isa retorted. John rolled his eyes and turned to all of us.

“Are any of you repulsed by my idea?” No one spoke or shook their heads, which meant everything was settled. Jared told us that if we ever run into to trouble, we should meet up at the base of the Ferris wheel. It was in the middle of the whole carnival and it wasn’t that hard to miss it. Before we all split up, we went to grab some food to fill out stomachs.

We entered the carnival and the chaos was too overwhelming. People came in all sorts and sizes. Families came with their kids, some couples decided to come to have some fun…it was absolutely chaotic. The colors overflowed the whole place and my eyes continued to wander around the scene.

“Better keep your mouth closed.” I immediately closed my mouth and glared at Kennedy who was right beside me the whole time. He chuckled at my gesture.

My partner was getting all jumpy and excited, holding a few cupcakes in his hand. I laughed whenever he would go next to Garrett and start kissing him. I settled on buying some nachos instead of the usual hotdogs. The nachos were crunchy and the cheese was so mouthwatering. It was a taste of heaven.

“Hey, can I have some?” I looked over to see Jared giving me a hopeful smile. I nodded and handed him my nacho platter. He got a few chips and started munching of them. The air around us smelled of sweat and fried food. People were screaming and shouting, walking around in tank tops and shorts. I took a sip from my bottle of water and watched a couple walk away hand in hand.

“What are you looking at?” Jared asked again. He followed my gaze and I quickly averted my attention from the couple back to him.

“Uh, nothing.” He chuckled at my reaction and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Didn’t look like nothing to me.” I rolled my eyes and slapped him with my water bottle. Jared was supposed to say something else but a wild Pat suddenly appeared with a smear of cupcake icing on his lips. He ran towards me, arms spread wide. My eyes widened and tried to dodge him but he caught me in a warm and tight embrace knocking the breath out of me. Out of the blue, he kissed my cheek and now it was tainted with sweet sticky stuff.

“Pat!” I screamed jokingly. Jared handed me some tissue and I rubbed the substance off my cheek. Pat did the same but he was jumping up and down excitedly.

“Sugar rush?” He nodded right away and started running once again, this time towards Garrett. I laughed at their expressions when Pat huddled him and kissed him on the cheek like what he did to me a few minutes ago. Jared shuffled beside me and told me that he’ll catch up with me later. Confused, I watched him go back to the guys. From the corner of my eye, I saw Kennedy’s familiar figure walking over to me. I gave a laugh as he bumped into an old lady, apologizing ten times before she let him go.

“It’s not funny.” He mumbled, head facing down. I laughed even more and patted his shoulder gently.

“It is, trust me.” He grabbed a few nachos and I swatted his hand away afterwards, bringing the dish closer to me like a selfish five year old.

“You’re having fun right?” I rolled my eyes and popped another nacho.

“By having fun you mean standing near a corner with some nachos? Yeah absolutely,” I mumbled then smiled at him. He chuckled and linked his arm with mine, which caught me completely by surprise. He brought me over to the guys plus the girl fighting over which ride to go on first. I wasn’t sure if the paring was still going on but apparently, Pat and Jared wanted to ride the big rollercoaster, which meant that we—Kennedy and I—had to follow them.

“If you guys need us, we’ll be riding the monster coaster,” Jared said to Isa, John and Garrett. Isa ran over to me and hugged me.

“I hate my life,” She whispered in my ear. I rolled my eyes and smacked her shoulder lightly for encouragement.

“You’ll get through it… hopefully,” I said and watched John and Garrett talking about guy stuff. Isa sighed and scratched her head.

“I really don’t know what to do now,” she mumbled and walked away, a confused expression on her face. John told us to have fun while Isa scowled. I waved at them and watched them walk away. Pat and Jared already went ahead of us, talking about guy stuff too. If knowing the recipe for cupcake batter is considered guy stuff.

We passed a few people, eating food and laughing out loud. We also bumped into a few of The Maine’s fans, which caused delay on our way to the roller coaster which I am thankful for. I stood apart from the guys, hoping that their fans won’t notice me at all. Hope is such a fragile thing.

“And who are you supposed to be?” I glanced at one of the few girls who actually paid attention to a bystander. I wasn’t good at defending myself but I was ready to prove that I wasn’t that weak girl my parents thought I was. Jordan may not be here right now but I’m sure she wanted me to be as brave and tough hearted as her.

“I’m—“ But problem is, I suddenly choked on my own words. The girl smirked at my own stupidity and her own friends chuckled at me. I rolled my eyes and just ignored them. I am pathetic.

“You know, the guys are better off without you, you know that right?” I snorted and nodded. If I said a word, I knew that I would just be wasting my breath. She was about to say something harsh once again when Pat appeared, jumping on me in the process.

“Lisette! We thought we lost you!” He screamed at me. He turned to the girls ‘bullying’ me a few seconds ago and asked if they needed anything. They just smiled and fangirled saying that they were all good. I had the urge to spat at them at how fake the looked. Pat excused us saying that we needed to go and I couldn’t tell you how relieved I was to get out of that situation.

“Lisette! Hey, why do you look so pale?” Jared asked me as we both walked over to them. I touched my face and fear suddenly enveloped me. Was it going to happen again? Kennedy quickly walked over to me and I felt ashamed that I was acting this way. I was healthy. I wasn’t going to faint again. I took a deep breath and shrugged it off.

“Let’s go, guys!” Pat yelled dragging all of us to the roller coaster. I gulped and watched the odd ride tower over us, casting a weird shadow. I felt a hand on my shoulder and smiled at Kennedy who was giving me a reassuring look.

“Ready?” Ready to faint and puke? Yup.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”