We Only Breathe for so Long

I stopped swinging and just stared at him for a long moment, trying to decipher what he meant by that. He’s asking you if you want to go on tour with him. I know it’s that obvious but it certainly sounded like he was proposing to me or something…I’ll try not to dwell on that.

His hazel eyes bore into mine as I contemplated on what I was going to say. My mouth hung open a little bit and Kennedy gave me a sheepish expression. He raised his palm in defeat and chuckled softly.

“Sorry…uh that must have been out of line.” He mumbled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. I was about to agree but I found myself shaking my head with a goofy grin on my face.

“It’s okay….Why the sudden question though?” I was curious. He was talking about Jordan and the next about tour. Major shift if you ask me.

He gave an awkward laugh and shook his head, as if he was trying to clear his thoughts. I gripped the side of the swing and looked at him peculiarly. His head became more disheveled as he ran his hand through it and his cheeks were slightly flushed. He gave a huge intake of breath and sent me a smirk.

“Is it bad that I just want you on tour with me?” He wiggled his eyebrows but I just snorted at his fail attempt to make me swoon.

“Yes. Yes it is.” I replied coolly but I was still gripping the swing as if it was my life. I kept my laughter down a notch hoping that he wouldn’t hear me giggle at how outrageous the idea was at the same time sweet. What if he really wanted to go on tour with me? My heart started to beat erratically and I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

The sun was up high and things were starting get really warm. Kennedy must have noticed it too because he looked at me dead in the eye with a question that asked ‘should we go?’. I nodded at him and stood up, reluctantly leaving the swings. I glanced at my palms and frowned at the dirt that stuck to them. I couldn’t wipe them on my dress. My mom would get mad at me.

“What’s wrong?” I looked up from my hands and saw Kennedy’s intense gaze on me. I gulped and shrugged, hiding my hands but Kennedy saw them and slowly but surely, took my hands. His hand was cool despite the heat and it felt rough, mostly because of the calluses he got from playing the guitar.

I held my breath as his palms grazed mine, casually examining them. He was so close; I could already smell his cologne. There was a slight breeze which made me shiver. He gave me an apologetic smile before going back to my hands. I took a peek and realized that it wasn’t just dirty, they had little scrapes. Small but they were stinging like crazy. My eyes bulged a little bit and wondered how I got them and then I realized it must have been from the swing.

I winced as he touched my palm and he mumbled an apology. He dropped my hands and looked up at me, like he was searching for something. Wow his eyes are really…lovely.

“What happened to your hands?” He murmured, still staring into my eyes. I shrugged and bit my lip, glancing at the swings. He followed my gaze and nodded as if he understood.

“You have to take care of yourself Lisette. I don’t want to see you hurting.” I snapped my head towards him with a raised eyebrow.

“Hurting?” I asked. I wasn’t hurting. Or was I? He reached into his pocket and handed me a soft looking handkerchief. I reached out for it and did my best to wipe the dirt off, without wincing at the pain.

“You just winced.” I glared at him while he chuckled slightly. “I don’t want the people I care about get hurt. Also, I can see it in your eyes that you aren’t exactly…okay.”

“Honest words?” He nodded before smiling at me softly.

“Come on, we have to disinfect that before it gets worse.” I nodded and followed him out of the playground, looking back every once in a while to look at the swings. It brings back so many memories and the one I brought with me was something about pain and tour. Wonder what that means?

Kennedy was quiet as a mouse as we left the park, his eyes scanning the block for a drug store I suppose. When I heard him sigh I figured that he was out of luck. I kept my hands a good distance away from my dress while figuring out how to explain all of this to my mom.

“Um, we could go to my house? You know to fix this.” I raised my hands up to exemplify it and he nodded.

“Alright.”

Once again, silence took over as we walked back to his car. We hurried though since Kennedy wouldn’t stop telling me the consequences of having infected wounds while I just laughed it off trying to sound nonchalant when deep inside I was becoming utterly worried of having to cut my hands off.

As we walked, I caught a glimpse of Isa and Garrett talking and laughing in one of the stores. It seemed a little peculiar but I ignored it since I was too preoccupied with my hands and the fact that Kennedy just slipped his arm around my shoulder. It’s supposed to be a friendly gesture but it still sent shivers down my spine. I hope he didn’t notice that.

I looked all around me and sighed. Kennedy glanced at me, eyebrows raised in question. I shrugged in reply and looked around some more, smiling as I took in Arizona.

“What’s up with the smile?” His eyes lit up in curiosity while I laughed softly, shaking my head.

“Oh it’s nothing.”

“Come on Lisette. There’s gotta be a reason why you’re smiling like that.” How is it possible that a guy like him was able to decipher my ways in a span of…two weeks? It seemed very unlikely and yet here he was, acting like he was a long lost friend.

He was nudging me with little force while keeping his arm firmly wrapped around my shoulders. With a groan, I obliged and told him my reason for feeling so happy.

“I’m just admiring Arizona. Also, I’m feeling pretty excited about this whole tour thing.”

“Did you just tell me that you’re going on tour with me? I mean, uh, us?” I looked at him and noticed a faint blush on his cheeks. Was that real? It was probably because of the heat…yeah.

“You wish.” I replied and punched him jokingly. He chuckled and before we knew it, we reached his car. He unlocked the doors and I climbed in, becoming painfully aware of the scrapes I have just made.

“A man can dream.”

“I didn’t know you were a man, Kennedy.” I mocked as he pulled out of the parking lot. He scoffed and glanced at me long enough for someone driving a car.

“Do you need proof?” I rolled my eyes and looked out the window, laughing at the idea that Kennedy would even have some proof.

“Nah I’m good. Just get me home before I get infected.” I replied which caused him to laugh. I smiled to myself. I guess I did have a sense of humor worth sharing.

We drove back to my house, the silence lingering in the air. I didn’t know what to say to him so I kept my mouth shut. A few times I have noticed Kennedy trying to start up a conversation but somehow he fails to open his mouth. Since we had no topic to discuss much about, I stared out the window and wondered about life in general.

How long will it be until we take our last dying breath? Will the people around us mourn for our death or for the sake of mourning? Are funerals meant to be for the dead or for the living?

I know it may seem a little odd that I’m thinking of these things but there’s this one point in our lives when all we can think about is death. Of course where there is death there is Jordan. Well, for me that is.

“We’re here.” I snapped out of my thoughts and glanced out the window. Sure enough we were back at my home. I couldn’t help the small whimper escape my throat which was weird considering the fact that I do not whimper. Maybe I was reluctant to go? Maybe.

“Oh.” I replied. That seemed to get his attention because now he was staring at me with anxious eyes. I gulped and felt myself go weak. Wait was this really happening?

“Hey, are you alright?” The words themselves made me want to blush but I told my blood not to. I scoffed at him and raised my palms, trying to be sarcastic.

“Help infection!” I said in mock terror. He loosened up a bit and laughed, nodding more to himself than to me.

“Right. You just looked sad…that’s all.” He gave me a small smile before going out of the car to help me out. Me? Sad? There’s only one explanation for this. He was looking at me. Closely for that matter since I didn’t notice it myself. That made my blood rush up to my cheeks.

“Oh…U-um right. We should get i-inside.” I stammered and quickly opened the door and jumped outside. Not exactly jumped but you get the point.

My scraped hand was placed behind my back while my somewhat healthy one reached for the knob. I heard Kennedy slam the door shut behind me and without knowing it; I felt his presence right behind me which erratically increased my heartbeat. I took a few deep breaths before stepping inside. Kennedy followed of course and I have no idea what to feel about it.

“Mom?! I’m home!” I waited for a response but all I heard was silence which was weird. Why would my mom leave the door unlocked? Also, if she wasn’t home Uncle should be around here somewhere.

Kennedy peeped around the house while I remained stuck in the living room. Where the hell could they be?! I dug inside my purse, bag, whatever and checked my phone if ever they left me a message. They did.

“Your uncle and I went to get some things for dinner. Don’t do anything rash alright? Love you.”

With a sigh, I tossed my phone on the couch and went to the kitchen where the first aid kit was located. To my surprise, Kennedy was already there messing around with the box. For some reason I didn’t want to make any sound because of him standing there near the kitchen window where in the light was playing with his eyes. From my point of view, they looked like melted chocolate gazing at a first aid kit. I shook my head from my reverie and approached him cautiously, like a cat and a mouse.

“Why are you staring at the first aid kit?” I asked nonchalantly which earned a gasp of surprise from his mouth. He jumped a little bit and I couldn’t help but giggle a little. It’s not everyday you get to see a guy shocked. From the corner of my eye I saw him grin and damn was it beautiful. Wait what?

He chuckled and shook his head. He picked up some of the gauze and glanced over with me and for some odd reason my breath got caught up in my throat. What is happening to me?

“Figuring out how to fix those hands of yours.” I rolled my eyes and went to the sink.

“Maybe we should wash them first don’t you think?” His mouth quirked up a bit and nodded. I proceeded with washing my hands, ignoring the slight pain I felt whenever I would run the water over the wounds which was basically the whole time I was washing my hands.

When I was done washing them, I reached over to get a towel and wipe them clean. Kennedy remained where he was motionless which was quite odd if you ask me. His stare was still fixed on the first aid kit sitting on top of the table. With a sigh, I grabbed the medicine and placed a few drops on the scratches. Of course it wasn’t a pleasant sight considering the fact that it looked like I just dipped my hand in blood.

“Let me help you.” Kennedy started but I stopped him and gave a small smile.

“No big deal. It’s not like I’m going to die over something like this.” But then I realized the gravity of my words and how that something else may be the cause of my death…no need to think negatively right now though.

Kennedy gave a slight chuckle but disregarded my statement because then he was unrolling some gauze and placing it on my two hands covered with medicine. I was about to slap his hands away but he was already holding them gently, placing the gauze over them. I winced a little and then he gave me a sweet apologetic smile which kind of melted the pain away. Kind of.

“There. Feel better?” I scrutinized the bandage and nodded slowly then shrugged. He rolled his eyes at me as if finding my response amusing. Was it?

“Good. So do we stay here or not? I don’t want you to get hurt…again.” Despite the things that have happened today, I laughed and shrugged.

“Let’s just watch a movie or something and maybe talk a little about the tour? Honestly, I have no idea what’s going to be in store for me.” He smirked and shoved his hands deep inside his pockets.

“That’s what makes it special. It’s full of surprises.” He winked at me and walked out of the kitchen leaving me shocked and a little breathless. What was that about?