You Put the Truth Back in My Smile

“Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome Charlotte Night!”

I sighed and stepped through the curtain that separated me from the crowd that was waiting on the other side. Plastering on a faux smile I took my seat behind the signing table and picked up the pen that was laid there for me to sign books. The first person came up and I saw it was a girl of about 14.

“Ms. Night I just want to tell you how much I love your books! They’re amazing! The character of Farris is like so believable!” she gushed.

She stood about 5’3 with long blonde hair. Her shirt read Hollister on the front and the skirt she wore was short enough that it could put dirty thoughts into the heads of pedophiles 30 miles away. Judging by the fact she had both a manicure and pedicure and a bracelet, necklace and ring that cost more than my first car Daddy had some money. She was exactly the type of girl that I wrote about. Even the thought made me cringe.

“Who should I make it out to?” I asked my fake smile getting bigger.

“Brittni! With an ‘I’ please!” she grinned.

I nodded and with a small flourish wrote her name and handed it back to her as girl, almost a clone of the previous one stepped forward. This was going to be a long day.

Three years before I had been a nobody working at a small 7-11 near my shitty ass apartment with my best friend/roommate Aimee. Since I was given mostly the night shifts I would bring my stack of notebooks and write. I had loved writing stories since I was a kid and at age 18 it was no different.

That was when Cleo had walked in, lost in a ‘bad’ part of town. The memory still haunted me.

I stood behind the counter scribbling down lines of a satire story I had started after running into one of the bitches that I had made my life hell in high school. It was about a group of popular girls and they’re many slutty adventures with the boys at a prestigious private school. It was just for a kick. Nothing serious.

The bell above the front door of the store rang and I looked up to see a woman with thick white blonde hair walking in. She wore a long red dress and sky high heels. Just looking at her you could tell she didn’t belong in the blue collar part of town that I worked and had lived in all my life. Her first words to me came as no surprise.

“Excuse me can you please tell me how to get back onto the highway?”

“The highway? Well you turn right out of here, go through about 3 stoplights, make another right and then the first exit should put you on the highway.” I replied.

“Thank you. Now can you please give me a pack of cigarettes? I promised myself I’d quit but this day has been so stressful I need one.” she replied with a small laugh.

“What kind?” I asked setting my notepad aside and standing up from the stool I was perched on.

“Any kind. At this point I don’t really care.” she replied.

“Right.” I nodded and got up and walked to select a brand.

I pulled one off the shelf and turned back to find her reading my story. My heart dropped as I saw her smile. Very few people read what I wrote and all of them I had known since forever. This strange woman reading my writing was something that scared the shit out of me.

“Um…I-I have your cigarettes.” I replied and her head snapped up from the notepad.

“I’m sorry I know that it’s none of my business but I saw you were writing and I had to read. I work for Holden House publishing and I need to tell you that you have real talent! Your story is captivating and interesting and just what we like to see in our books for Young Adults. I was wondering if you’d like to come and have an interview with the head of our Young Adult branch?” she asked.

“R-Really? Are you like for serious or are you just trying to get a free pack of cigarettes?” I asked.

She laughed, “No dear I’m fully serious. Here…take my card and give me a call around 10 tomorrow morning and we’ll set it up!” she said and without another word turned on the thin heel of her shoe and clicked her way out the door.

I stood in a stunned silence for a few moments with the pack of cigarettes in one hand and the card in the other. I was in shock.

Needless to say I called the woman who I learned was named Cleo Porter. Less than a year later the first book in the ‘Scandalous Scholastics’ series was published and on the bestseller list by the end of the first week. There were now 5 of them all together and I absolutely LOTHED every single one.

Since that day I had been poked and prodded until I fit the ‘mold’ that Cleo had wanted to shove me into the moment my first book was published.

I had been into metal and rock since I was 12 and subsequently my lifestyle reflected that. More than 95% of my clothes were black or had some sort of skull on them, I had gauges and several tattoos. I went to a concert nearly every weekend and my last 3 boyfriends had almost worn more makeup than me.

However Cleo had managed to squash that from my public image. When I was doing appearances I was Charlotte Night not Charlie like I’d been known as since I could toddle. Black was an extreme no-no and I was forced into clothes like I wore now; A red blousy shirt, beige pants, red heels and a string of pearls.

My hair hid my gauges and my tattoos were covered with a layer of makeup even though I wore a long sleeved shirt. Apparently my look wasn’t ‘appropriate’ and therefore if I wanted to sell books I had to dress however Cleo deemed acceptable. However thanks to a contract I blindly signed I was forced into all of this. She and her stylist Heathcliffe could make me into anything and everything they wanted me to be.

“Alright! Thank you for your support! Charlotte really appreciates it!” Cleo smiled.

I stood up and gave a wave to the fans who were still lingering around even though the signing was over before disappearing back behind the curtain. It was only then I let out the long breath that I hadn’t known I was holding.

“Well you could’ve been more interested.” Cleo sniffed as I sat down and sipped from a bottle of water provided to me.

“Well I’m sorry that I don’t find any fun it talking to girls who’s brains are the consistency of rice pudding.” I replied.

Cleo just rolled her eyes, “You can go home now. I’ll call you later with the details of next week’s book signing.”

“Fine.” I replied and without a word turned and walked out the backdoor of the store.

Waiting for me was the black Audi I had bought myself with the first advance that the publisher had given me so I could write the sequel to the book. It was my baby and I loved it more than I ever thought I’d love a car. It was the first one that I owned that wasn’t a piece of shit.

Climbing in I ripped the headband from my hair and tossed it into the back before starting my car, Immaculate Misconception by Motionless In White playing. I grinned and mentally thanked my ipod for playing such a great song as I pulled out into traffic.

Motionless In White was one of my favorite bands and I actually had tickets to see them next week. It was their first big headliner and it was them and another band I loved called Snow White’s Poison Bite. Aimee was going with me and we had a whole road trip planned out. It was going to be sick as hell.

After a twenty minute drive I pulled into my parking space at my apartment complex. Turning off the engine I climbed out and hurried to the elevator. The quicker I got out of these fucking clothes the better. The ride to my floor seemed to take ages but finally with a ding the door slid open.

The only part of being under Cleo’s thumb that didn’t annoy me was that she let me spend my money how I wanted. Because of that I was able to buy a good sized apartment with 2 bedrooms and a huge kitchen because I loved to bake. Aimee still lived with me and only really pitched in for groceries. I made enough that I didn’t need her help on the utilities or the cable.

“I’m home and I fucking hate my god dammed life!” I yelled as I shut the door behind me.

Aimee appeared from the kitchen holding a bag of Doritos. Her eyes widened when she saw me.

“Holy shit…Cleo really got a hold of you this time.” she said walking over.

“Is it really as bad as it looks?” I asked.

“Um…do you want the truth or do you want me to lie to your face?” she replied chewing on her lower lip.

“Truth.” I said bracing myself for the enviable conformation of my fears.

“One word…pearls.” Aimee said holding up the long string that dangled around my neck.

“Ah! Fuck this shit!” I spat and pulled the necklace roughly over my head and threw it across the room, kicking my shoes in the same direction.

Without a second thought I ripped my shirt and pants off and threw them as far as I could. It was only after I was down to the cami and boy shorts that I wore underneath that I felt like I could breathe again.

“Are you done?” Aimee asked.

With a deep breath I turned and looked at her, “Yes.”

“Good because I hope you know you just gave your cousin a little strip show.” she replied.

I turned and saw my cousin, and Aimee’s boyfriend of 2 years, James leaning against the kitchen door with a carton of ice cream and a spoon in hand.

“Very nice little cuz.” he laughed.

I rolled my eyes, “It’s not like you’ve never seen me in a bathing suit. I wear bikini‘s smaller than this perv.” I replied and headed for my room.

“And why don’t you buy your own food instead of eating ours?” I spat as I passed him and before he could blink I grabbed the ice cream and spoon from him and smacked him in the head.

Shutting the door to my room behind me I flopped down on my bed and began to eat the ice cream. I utterly hated my life but at the same time I couldn’t deny that writing those shallow ass books had given me more than I had hoped I’d have by the time I was 21.

I had an apartment of my own, a good car, money in the bank and I rarely had to get out of bed before noon. Life wasn’t all that hard. It just killed me that I had hide who I really was to do what I loved.

I flipped on the TV and found a South Park marathon. My favorite episode where the goth kids burned down Hot Topic was on and it made me smile.

The carton of ice cream was nearly gone and I had watched a half dozen episodes of South Park when there was a knock at my door.

“Come in!” I called.

Aimee poked her head in, “Hey James and I wanted to know if you wanted to go out tonight? On us?” she asked.

“I don’t know Aims…” I replied.

“So what? You’re going to sit here and watch reruns and stuff your face with ice cream?” she asked.

“I was considering ordering in Chinese.” I said picking at a loose thread on my bedspread.

“Ug. Charlie quit being whiny and move your ass. Get up and get dressed. C’mon we’ll go out and have fun and get back at Cleo. Take lots of photos and send them to her. She has no contract over you when you’re not at signings.” Aimee said.

I sighed knowing I was fighting a losing battle, “I’ll be out in 30.”

“Good girl.” she said and walked out.

I stood up and walked to my stereo and put my iPod in the dock and hit play. Modern Day Escape’s ‘The Syndicate’ started playing and I began to bob my head along as I searched for something to wear that would piss off Cleo.

From a laundry basket I pulled out a pair of jeans with holes in the knees and from the bottom of my drawer a tank top with an inked Marilyn Monroe with angel wings. Once I had pulled them on I put in a new pair of gauges, a vampire fang necklace and a spiked bracelet. After doing up my makeup with thick shadow and liner I grabbed my purse and walked out to find James and Aimee dressed.

James wore a black tee, jeans, sneakers and a belt with aviators. Next to him was Aimee in a black and green splatter tank top, jeans and sneakers.

“Can I borrow your black Etinnes?” I asked Aimee.

“Yeah. They’re in my room.” she replied.

I grabbed them and quickly and slipped them on before heading back to the living room.

“Ready!”

“Great! Let’s get fucking going!” Aimee grinned and I couldn’t help but smiled.

“Let’s go cheer your grumpy ass up. Let’s move it Chars.” James said and before I could think I was swung up over his shoulder.

I couldn’t help but break out into giggles as he carried me out the door. I had a feeling that this night was going to be a good one.