Lost in Stereo.

I could hear the bass pounding out of his headphones as I sat down next to him in our American Literature class, the last one of the day. It was kind of catchy – nothing too heavy, just enough to tap your feet to. I caught myself tapping my feet to it before the bell rang and our teacher walked in the door. I wondered what he was listening to today.

I glanced over at him, the boy I’d seen around the school for the last few years but never really knew. Jack, the boy with the music forever in his ears. Even in class, he kept one earbud in his ear in so he could listen to the teachers as he listened to his music. It was odd; the teachers never seemed bothered by it from what I saw. There had never been a day I had seen him without something covering his eardrums.

Jack was quiet. For the four years I had been in many of the same classes as Jack, but I had never heard him speak. It was part of what made me think about him so much. I often wondered what it would be like if Jack actually did talk, if things would maybe be different. Maybe I would’ve had the courage to ask him to a concert or something.

No, that’s never how things worked out. I was chicken shit little Alex, always afraid of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person. Jack was…well, Jack. He was silent and mysterious and there was something about me that made me want him. Though I had never spoken a word to him, he seemed to occupy a permanent space in the back of my mind.

It was a stupid fascination I had with Jack Barakat. He probably wasn’t even remotely close to interested, let alone gay. I was a moron for wasting my time thinking about him.

“I’m going to split you up into groups to talk about today’s reading,” Mrs. Hollingsworth said, her voice overpowering the chatter in the classroom. “Everybody in the first row in a group, second row’s all in a group, you get the picture. Discuss the three chapters you read for today, and for the love of God, I hope everybody read them…”

I took a look to my left as the rest of the class gathered their desks together. Jack and I were in the same group. Not that it meant anything; it’s not like he would speak up. The prospect of it, though, was thrilling. I mashed my desk together with the three other guys in my row and we got down to business, if you could call it that.

“So,” Jacob said, trying to get a discussion going. “To Kill a Mockingbird…who actually read this?” I shook my head. Of course I hadn’t read it – it was a Monday. I had been out at a party on Saturday, had too much to drink and said fuck everything yesterday. The same went for Jacob. I had seen him and his girlfriend at the party, grinding on each other practically all night.

“Don’t look at me,” Alan said, shrugging. “What about you, Jack?”

Jack sighed, one earbud dangling loosely down the front of his t-shirt. “I got this,” he muttered.

I nearly choked on the air I was breathing in. Jack Barakat just fucking spoke?! Is the apocalypse coming?

Mrs. Hollingsworth spoke up again once most of the groups had quieted down. “I guess that means either you’ve all got a case of the Mondays or you’re done discussing the last few chapters of To Kill a Mockingbird,” she said, laughing at her own pathetic joke. I heard Janelle, the little teacher’s pet in the front, chuckling with her. “I’ll hear one comment from each group and then I’ll pass out your worksheets for today.”

The first group spoke up, talking about how Scout and Jem’s father got called a negro-lover for representing Tom Robinson in court. Then it was our group’s turn to speak. We left it all up to Jack, hoping he would speak up.

“Group two?” Mrs. Hollingsworth beckoned.

Jack cleared his throat. “Atticus says it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird when all they do is make music for us to listen to. It’s where the book title comes from. Boo Radley’s kind of a mockingbird, I guess. There’s a connection later on between mockingbirds and Tom Robinson, but I won’t say that because we aren’t there yet.”

That’s the most I’ll ever hear out of that boy if I don’t get my shit together, I thought.

“Group three?”

Class droned on for another half hour or so before the bell rang, signaling our bodies to drift out of the room and toward the main doors of the school where freedom whispered our names. Jack was the first one out the door at the bell, backpack already slung over his shoulder and ready to go. I had to catch up to him.

“Jack!” I called from a little farther down the hallway. I prayed to whatever deity would listen to me, hoping he hadn’t blasted the volume on his iPod to the top notch quite yet.

Jack turned around. I smiled like an idiot, walking forward. I realized something before I reached him: I just called his name without knowing anything to say to him. Shit.

Think, Alex, think…

“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you talk,” I stammered. Fuck. That’s definitely not what I was going for, but there was no turning back now.

Jack’s lips formed some sort of lopsided smile, another thing I’d never expected from him. God, he’s beautiful. “Maybe you should listen more carefully, Gaskarth,” he said. “I’m sure I’ve spoken to you a few times in your head.”

“I…what?”

“Don’t think I don’t catch you giving me that lovesick lost puppy dog look my way in class, Alex. It’s kind of cute, really.”

Being a complete hopeless romantic, I had imagined this conversation taking place thousands of times. Never did I imagine it would actually happen, especially in the crowded hall of our high school with the ears of all the students eager to pick up the newest piece of gossip.

“You busy right now?” Jack asked. “I’m headed over to the music store if you want to hang out.”

I tried to control my jaw from dropping. “I – Yeah, I’d love to, Jack.”

Jack grinned just a little bit more before putting the dangling earbud back into his ear. I heard the bass pounding as we walked out the doors. I didn’t mind one bit.