Status: Sort of like Ellen Hoplkins, her book "Impulse" Influenced this, Please give feedback, <3


"Chapter 4"



Saved from the grasp of
Death again.
Like a wasp that stung the person that walked
in front of you,
Right before it was
Going To
Sting you.

Saved again,
when I don’t want to be saved
I don't have anything to
Look forward to.

my mother’s death
The one thing
that would give me
the freedom
I wish for

That's the one thing
I want..
other than death,
Funny thing

Each part of
my Freedom
Involves death.
to me Death
Seems like the
Best thing ever.

I can't wait
for it.
It being death.
To some it seems

To me it's the
Only thing that provides
The only thing that keeps me at bay.


Keeps me at Bay
it’s a defense I think
I conformed too.
I wish I could,
Deconform it

It Drives Me Insane
It’s the one of two reasons they think I deserve
to sit in confinement
for the rest of my life.

I could've gotten
only a few years,
but the judge thought
I needed to be locked up.
They all thought I should
Be locked up.
For something that
I didn't mean to do.

For good.
My own good
and everyone else’s
around me
the depression swallowed me
Kept me at bay.

Kept the world around me
Neat, organized,
hectic, chaos,
and horrible.
OCD Controlled how I did things
Depression told me that
I didn't want to do any of it


I didn't want to
Kill David,
but I did want to hurt him
hurt him a lot.

Hurt Him,
Just like he hurt my girl.
She's still alive.
Just barely on the
brink of it all
Mentally screwed
Physically screwed
Mentally fucked up.
just like the rest of us.

Her name,
I can't even remember
It's pathetic
It's horrible.
I loved her, but I
Can't remember her name
I love her so much,
I still do.
I just don't know what to do
about it.
I could ask to go to my file.
But, it's just too much work

To many papers
To go through.
Too much to look at.
Criminal history
Mental Status
Court dates
Count Hearings
Pleads of "Guilty" and "Not guilty"
Countless other things