Sharpen Your Teeth and Bite as Hard as You Want

"Jamie? Wake up, babe." I heard a soft voice call to me.

I groaned and rolled over throwing the blankets over my head. The room was fucking bright. Joel started shaking me softly, calling my name again. He pulled the blanket off me, but I kept my eyes closed. I put my hands on my face and tried my hardest to remember what happened last night. I could only remember a bit of what happened after I got into Joel's room. I remember emptying my stomach soon after I got into the room. I had laid on the floor of the bathroom and cried as well. Joel stayed in there with me and held my hair while I puked.

He is such a good boyfriend.

"Water and advil, babe?" He asked me softly.

I opened my eyes to see him holding some pills and a glass of water out to me. I nodded my head and took them.

"Thank you." I said.

He nodded his head and just smiled at me. He leaned forward and gave me a kiss before getting off the bed to get dressed.

"So how mad are you that I drank so much last night?" I asked playing with the hem of my shirt.

He stopped digging through his bag, sighed, and looked over at me.

"I'm not mad. You know I don't mind if you drink. It's your life."

"But you don't like it."

He pulled a shirt over his head and walked over to me. He pulled me off the bed and into a hug.

"It's your life, babe. I have no say in what you do. Now, go take a shower and bring your board. We're going to the store with Tony in a bit." He said letting me go.

I nodded my head and left the room. I showered and changed into a pair of skinny jeans, my Pierce the Veil tshirt, and slipped on my Vans. I left my hair alone and let it dry naturally. I didn't put on any makeup, grabbed my skateboard and headed for the lobby. I saw Tony and Joel waiting by the door, chatting up a storm.

Tony smiled at me as I approached.

"Nice shirt. How are you feeling?" he asked smirking at my shirt.

"Thanks. And I'm better. Joel took care of me." I said with a cheesy grin.

Joel gave me a kiss and I swear I saw Tony's smile drop. I shrugged it off and followed the boys outside.

"Where are we going?" I asked and kicked off my board, following the two boys down the street.

"Gas station up the street. Snacks and shit, mayne." Tony said, throwing up a gang sign.

I laughed and followed the boys, keeping quiet for most of the ride. My thoughts were running wild at this point. I was starting to feel like I wasn't good enough for Joel. He was this super talented, insanely attractive, sweet, incredibly intelligent person, and I'm just an abnormal girl who got lucky and joined a band. I'm a nobody with this perfect guy who deserves someone more like him. Joel is all about work and music and keeping busy and being positive. I'm not nearly as positive or talented, and I just like to party and have fun.

Joel deserves much better.

Then I started to think about our time. Joel is always so busy. I don't want to leave him. He's such a great guy and I really like him.

"Jamie?" Joel called to me, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Hu---" I started to say as I hit a crack in the sidewalk wrong.

I should have been paying more attention. I threw out my hands to break my fall and felt my hands scrape. I rolled over onto my back and groaned loudly.

"Fuck." I said began to sit up.

"Are you okay?" Joel called as he and Tony helped me off the ground.

I nodded my head and brushed off my pants. My hands were bleeding, but it wasn't anything to serious.

"Ow." I said looking at my hands.

My stomach did flips as both the boys reached for my hands to examine them. It was scary really. They both looked up and stared at each other for a second. Tony slowly dropped my hand and turned away.

"I'll go get your board." he said walking off.

I watched him walk away until I heard Joel clear his throat. I turned back to him and he gave me an odd look before tending back to my hand.

"You sure you're okay? Did you hurt anything else?" he asked not looking at me.

"I'm fine." I choked out.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my temple. I smiled at him and he let go just as Tony came back with my skateboard. We walked the rest of the way to the gas station in silence. Everything was wrong.

What the hell just happened?