A Single Rose for You...

Dear my closest friend,

I'm writing because
I miss you so much
At night I'd always cry
The stillness still reminds me of
When we first fell in love
And I miss that so much…

~Dear my closest friend

As I finish the letter I placed it securely into the small white envelope I have sitting on my desk. “I’m such a fool…” I said, I should have seen the scars! I was always with him, holding his hand, hugging him and always being there. I felt the cold tears cascade down my cheeks like they have so many times before.

It was a month ago I found out, but like usual I found out too late. “Johnny, there is nothing we could have done to stop this…” Zacky told me, but I know I could have stopped him. God if only I knew! I could have saved him….

I got up from my desk, holding the envelope in my hand, tightly so I wouldn’t loose it. I ascended down the stairs to the foyer where my mother was “Johnny, are you alright? Are you going somewhere?” My mother asked as she arranged the fake flowers that were by the front door

“Yeah….” I said quietly as I put on my coat and reached for my scarf “Where are you going? I would like to know….” I looked at her, I loved my mother but she would never understand if I tried to tell her.

“…I’m going to see Jimmy…” With that, I left.

The October weather was cool in California today, so I wore Jimmy’s old coat he gave me last year

“Where’s your coat Johnny?” Jimmy asked as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, I just shook my head “I-I haven’t gotten th-the chance to buy one…” I said, getting closer to Jimmy because he was warm “Johnny.” He said in his tone of voice he only uses when he’s being very serious.

I looked up at him, but everything went black, “Jimmy! I can’t see!” I freaked out, I’ve never liked the dark “Johnny, you weren’t suppose to look up.” I heard jimmy laugh as something was lifted off me and I could see again.

I examined the coat draped over my shoulders “Take my coat, I have another one at home.” Jimmy said smiling at me. I suddenly felt his lips on mine, I loved Jimmy and he was always caring for me. I kissed him back.

I blink away the tears as I walked down the street; I stopped in my tracks. I looked into the old music store where he used to work, I saw the old drum set he so desperately tried to save his money to buy. “If you would have waited just a little longer Jimmy….” I said quietly to myself.

I continued to walk down the street to reach the cemetery. I know exactly where he was, 14th row 7th one to the left. I walked over to his headstone



I sat down next to his headstone, resting my hand on the cold stone that represented the only person I ever loved so completely. I traced his name with my finger “H-hey Jimmy…” my voice cracked as tears got ready to fall once again. “I-its been awhile since I’ve come, I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you that I finally bought that bass guitar I was saving for.”

The sound of the large oak creaking from the wind blowing against it as I said these words were the only thing I could hear. I silently let the tears slid down my cheeks just as they had so many times before “I miss you so much Jimmy…” I said those words so quietly it sounded as if the wind had muttered those very words.

“Johnny…”

I looked up quickly, it was faint but I swear I heard Jimmy calling my name. I stood up and took a deep breath I closed my eyes and said “J-jimmy! Are you there…” I felt more tears fall down my face, knowing it wasn’t possible for him to be here.

“Johnny, baby don’t cry…”

I opened my eyes quickly, standing in front of my eyes was Jimmy. I felt my breath hitch in my throat. “Please don’t cry. I’m fine.” He said with such care in his voice, such longing but his eyes; they were so sad. “Jimmy…H-how are you…” He reached his hand up to my cheek and brushed my tears away; I saw the scars from his fatal cuts on his wrists. “I’m only here for a moment, but I just want you to know I’m ok. No more pain and I don’t want you to cry-” I cut him off.

“Why Jimmy! Don’t you see how much it kills me inside that you’re no longer here to be with me! I cry every night because your not here!” I fell to my knees because I wasn’t strong enough on my own. I suddenly feel arms wrap around me and pick me up “I’m sorry….I’m so sorry Johnny. I love you so much so please…I don’t want you to be trapped inside yourself, to be alone.” I felt tears fall onto my cheeks, but they weren’t mine. I looked up and saw he was crying. “Jimmy…” he set me down, he put his hand behind his back, “Jimmy what are you-” I stopped talking when he pulled a beautiful red rose from behind his back. “Please don’t forget me, but don’t be depressed by my death forever. I love you Johnny.” He said, I carefully took the rose, that’s when I remembered something, “Wait, Jimmy how-” when I looked up he was gone, the rose the only reminder he was here.

My eyes snapped open; I looked around. I had fallen asleep on Jimmy’s grave; it was only a dream. I went to say goodbye to him, but as I turned I noticed a small red rose laying on the grave marker…