Julius

Fuck, not enough people understand how much it sucks to be a triplet. Growing up, I was always raised to believe I was “unique” and “special.” Man, it’s shit enough being the middle triplet, but Kara and Kata are also the dumbest two people I’ve ever known, ever.

I’ve always done all I could to be different, but when I met Julius, god, I wanted to be just like him.

Julius Castle was weird and distant, and he was so tall I swear he could touch the skies and the moment his lips parted, asking for a cigarette, I had fallen for the worst guy I could have possibly fallen for. He was beautiful, and I was so out of it, I stuttered and stumbled, biting him when we kissed, numb when we fucked.

Next thing I know, he’s asking me, slow and drunk and slurred, “Rosemary, would you kill for me?”

It’s easy enough, dying for the boy you love, but I’ve always had to work for what I wanted.

Next thing I know, he’s yelling, “Drive, Rosemary, drive.”

We were so stupid, but not nearly as stupid as the city we lived in. There were so many awful people. All the girls and boys he fucked, I was jealous, I was so fucking jealous. All the moms and dads and teachers, they wanted him dead, and that wasn’t okay.

I loved him and they hated him, and they still hate him.

Next thing I know, he’s throwing all his shit in garbage bags, saying, “You ruined my fucking life.”

And I still love him.

I don’t know. In another life, it would have been okay. At some point, we were both happy and that’s all that matters.

But next thing I know, I’m tied to a chair and he’s trying to set me on fire along with the rest of his secrets.

I watched him go crazy, and then I watched them kill him. Everything turned blurry and disgusting and I cried, and I cried, and I cried.

It was the last time I saw Julius.

I can still smell the gasoline, the cherry flavored bubble gum.