Rumored Nights

As we drove on I found myself trying to avoid Louis’ stare. I couldn’t let Liam know about Louis and I. I couldn’t bring myself to face the truth. Maybe Louis was the one I wanted after all.

But then there was Liam…poor, wonderful Liam. How could I possibly do this to him? How could I be having doubts when he was so sure? It made me feel horrible, even more horrible than before. I couldn’t go on like this. I needed to choose once and for all.

I knew it would be hard, but I assured myself that it had to be done.

Also, as we drove through Utah, Zayn looked down at the smudged ink on the palm of his left hand, wishing he could see Bekah again and hoping it would be soon. He couldn’t believe that after just a freak dancing accident and a few minutes of talking, he’d finally found the person he wanted to be with. The person to help him get over Lola and (also) to help Lola get over him.

Louis tapped his foot anxiously. He was trying to find a way to take Niall’s advice and show me how he felt in a big way.

Too bad I had no idea this was happening. I was looking out the window as I watched the late evening, early morning hours go by slowly, avoiding the things I had to say to Louis and Liam and the decisions I’d have to make.

Louis tried not to look at Niall, because he knew Niall was waiting to hear Louis say something to me or see this whole plan of doing something big work. Which it wasn’t doing at the moment. Louis didn’t want Niall to push him and have him mess the whole thing up.

“Pssstt…Louis…” Niall whispered, trying to be sneaky.

Louis just gave Niall a scared looking and tried ignoring him, but he knew that wasn’t going to work.

“Lou…Louis….PSSSSTTT!!” Niall whispered again.

“Gosh, Lou, will you just answer him?” Harry pleaded in a whisper also.

“What do you want, Niall?” Louis sighed.

“Do it?” He urged.

“Do what?” Louis was playing dumb.

“You know what I mean!” Niall sighed. “Show it in a big way!” Niall used key words only he and Louis would understand.

“Okay, okay. I will. Calm down.”

“Louis it’s been like…” Niall said, looking down to the invisible watch on his wrist. “I don’t know, but it’s been a long time since we left Colorado…Just do it already!” Niall urged some more.

“I will when the time is right,”

“When the time is right? What are you a Lifetime movie now? Just do it! You know you’ve been waiting long enough!” Niall demanded.

“Hey! Sometimes those Lifetime movies are pretty good!” Louis argued, trying to ignore anything else Niall was saying.

“Whatever, Lou. Stop thinking and just do what you’ve always wanted to do. You know you want to.” He reminded Louis.

“Fine,” Louis sighed and kind of pouted as he turned back to face forward as his foot still tapped nervously.

I knew by the way Louis looked so stressed that something was going on. And I was scared to guess what it may have been.



“I wonder what Bekah is doing right now.” Zayn asked Liam, who really didn’t care and was trying to fall asleep.

“Beats me…” Liam mumbled, then closed his eyes in an attempt to get back to sleep once more.

“I bet she’s thinking of me…” Zayn imagined.

“I bet…” Liam mumbled some more, only half listening.

“I can’t stop thinking of her.”

“No, really?” Liam asked sarcastically as he tried to block out Zayn altogether.

“Do you think I’ll ever see her again?” Zayn was feeling a bit sad at the thought of not seeing Bekah.

“Do you want to see her again?” Liam asked the obvious and Zayn just nodded. “Then you will.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right!” Zayn agreed.

“I know I’m right.” Liam tried to get comfy again.

“You know what, Liam? You are very wise.” Zayn told him.

“I know. Since I’m wise or whatever, then the wise one says we all must get our beauty sleep. So shut up and go to sleep.” Liam mumbled to Zayn with his eyes closed.

Liam rested his head on the window as Zayn shut up and closed his eyes tighter. He needed to figure this out. He needed to get me back. He wanted things to be the way they were before we left. He wanted to know the truth. And little did he know tonight he just might…



I sat there looking out the window some more, wondering what I was ever going to do about the voices I was about to make sometime soon and how it would all end up.

Suddenly, I felt Louis’ arms around me and it pulled me closer to his arm body. Before I could think twice about what was going on, we were involved in a passionate and amazing kiss…again.

But this time wasn’t like all the times before. It was different…It felt like he really meant it and it felt like we were into each other even more than we had been before.

It made me a little scared and nervous, but at the same time it was comforting to feel like I was this close to all the answers.

“What was that for?” I asked out of amazement and awe.

“What do you mean?” He asked, giving me a somewhat hurt look.

“Oh, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just, I…”

“It’s okay. I know it was kind of surprising.” Louis looked into my eyes. “I just had to do it because…” He hesitated, trying to find the right words to say. “Because I love you.” He told me breathlessly.

“I…” I began to say ‘I love you’ back like I normally did.

“No Alex. Don’t tell me that you love me too unless you really feel that way.” Louis told me.

“But…” I tried to argue, but he went on.

“Alex. I…I know I’ve told you lots and lots of times that I’d wait for you to choose and that I could handle it…but the truth is…I need you, Alex. I know that maybe me saying all these things won’t change the way you feel, but I’m at least going to try. That’s all I can do. I love you, Alex. I always have and I know that Liam feels that way too, or at least I think he does, but he has no idea how much I love you or how much I need you. I just wish you could see and I wish he could see…and I wish…I don’t know what I wish, but I know that I’m sick of waiting and waiting for you. Alex, I know this is kind of soon, but you need to choose. Alex, you need to. It’s killing me. I need to know if you really want to be with me or if I need to prepare for heartbreak, because I know I can’t possibly live without you. And I just hope I can make you see that I’d give you everything. I’d give you anything you’d ever need. I’ll love you no matter what and I’ll never hurt you or make you cry or forget you. I’ll protect you. I’ll be there for you whenever you need me. I’ll be honest and faithful and most of all, I promise I will love you like nobody else can and nobody else ever will. I love you, Alex. And I just hope you can understand that. I just hope you can because I love you.” Louis spilled to me every thought in his head and every feeling in his heart as tears burned in his beautiful eyes as he tried to convince me he was the one.

“Oh, Louis…” was all I could manage to say as tears filled my eyes too. “I…I don’t know what to say…”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just promise me you’ll consider the things I’ve had to say and remember how much I love you. Just as long as I know you did. Even if you do choose Liam. Then I’ll know that I really wasn’t the one you were meant to choose.” He told me.

“Louis…I love you.” I told him, not thinking of anything else in the world, not even Liam. “I love you so much.” I told him as I began to cry.

“Alex, don’t cry. It’s okay. Please don’t cry.” Louis pleaded as he wiped away my tears and held my face in his hands, the way he always did.

“I love you…” I barely muttered out romantically.

“I love you too, Alex.” Louis pulled me closer and I sobbed tears of confusion into his shirt. But he didn’t care, he just held me. I was scared to admit it, but maybe he was the one I was going to choose.

Why was my life such a complete mess?

“Shhh…” Louis whispered comfortingly as he kissed the top of my head. He was sweeter than ever before, or at least that’s how it seemed. “I love you too. I really do.” He whispered.

At that moment it felt like there was nobody in the world but us.

But the truth was, there were other people…

Liam sat in the seat in front of Liam and I. He closed his eyes tighter, trying to forget what he’d just heard from the seat behind him.

So this is what he’d been missing all along. Liam finally put the piece together. He finally knew the truth and now, as he sat there looking like he was sleeping, he was trying to convince himself he hadn’t heard any of it. That none of it had happened.

He pretended that he hadn’t heard the whole conversation from beginning to end. He pretended that the sound of Louis and I kissing hadn’t woken him up.

The truth was he couldn’t pretend. He’d heard what he’d heard. He knew that I’d told Louis I loved him, something I told Liam too and had meant it.

Liam felt like he was about to die. How could this happen to him? How couldn’t he have seen it before? All the clues were there, but that was the thing he had never wanted to figure out before. He had trusted me…so much for putting his faith in me.

He had thought everything was fine. It’s funny how in the blink of an eye everything could change. Dreams could be shattered. The one you love could be gone.

Liam still couldn’t believe it, but he knew that sometime he would have to.

He didn’t know how to confront Louis or me with what he’d heard and he knew it would be the hardest thing all three of us would ever have to go through.

Liam couldn’t think of what to do in the future, because right now it hurt too much to think of what he’d discovered. So Liam just put his hood on without anyone noticing and closed his eyes even tighter, trying to keep his tears of pain and confusion in so nobody would see.

As he thought more about it, he couldn’t hold them in any longer. Liam; strong, amazing Liam started to cry as we kept driving to our next destination. He couldn’t stop. The tears kept filling his eyes and falling down his cheeks as he kept his eyes closed, wishing it didn’t hurt this much.

He didn’t believe it, but he had to.

Everything was now a mess.