Finally Complete

Brian stood on the balcony, staring out over the nameless city they’d played in that night. The, now, ever-present Marlboro hung from his fingers, ashes blowing away with each gust from the wind that made his usually tame hair blow around his face and irritate him.

He’d been given a room by himself every night they’d stayed in a hotel, and his bunk on the tour bus was always the lone bunk at the end, away from his four supposed best friends.

They were worried, that much was obvious, and Brian knew it, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell them what was making him act the way he had been lately.

Ever since Michelle left him, just over a year ago, he hadn’t been the same.

Then, the accident happened.

Brian had been out with the guys, having fun riding around in the warm, fading sun as they rode their motorcycles, or in Zacky’s case, rode with Matt, headed home from a day at the beach.

Brian looked over at Zacky, who was goofing off and making the others laugh, and was having fun watching their favorite rhythm goof off, when he all of a sudden went white and screamed at Brian and Matt.

Brian barely had enough time to turn his head and catch a glimpse of a truck before it slammed into him, and sent him flying into Matt and Zacky, who’d tried to swerve and get away, but couldn’t.

Matt and Zacky had somehow been spared any injuries except a cracked rib or two for Zacky, a broken wrist for Matt, and a concussion for both.

Brian hadn’t been so lucky.

He’d ended up with his left leg broken in six places, two above the knee, four below, his ankle broken, his knee nearly crushed, his left shoulder broken, right shoulder shattered, his neck broken, but his spinal cord in tact, his pelvis cracked, plenty of scratches from the pavement, and several more bones broken and cracked, as well as severe internal bleeding and his skull cracked, which nearly stole his life.

He’d been in the hospital in intensive care for nearly six months, doing physical therapy as he healed, and having to re-learn how to control his left side, as well as his right arm.

When he’d crashed, Jimmy and Johnny had been there as his side immediately, Matt and Zacky following soon after, and together, they’d pushed the truck, that had came to rest over Brian’s body, back to get to him.

When they’d pushed it back, Zacky went to check on the driver while Jimmy, Johnny, and Matt had stayed by Brian’s side.

The guitarist had been bleeding badly, wheezing as he struggled to breathe, and not moving.

He remembered being awake, seeing his friends hovering over him, tears down their faces, and telling him to hold on.

He’d been in shock, paramedics nearly afraid to move him, and his best friends standing by helplessly as they watched their best friend being air lifted to the nearest hospital for treatment.

It had been nearly five months since then, and he still felt every bit of the pain.

Jimmy had stayed by his side every moment of the day until the nurses finally had to call security to remove him, Jimmy fighting tooth and nail to get back to him, but ultimately being consciously sedated and put in a room to recover from his own shock.

“Brian?” Jimmy’s soft voice, void of anything resembling playfulness, filtered out through the open sliding doors to Brian, startling him out of his memories.

“Yeah, Jim?” He asked, voice sounding deeply depressed and void of happiness or hope.

“Are you okay? The guys are worried about you. We thought…” Jimmy quit talking, knowing Brian would understand.

Since his release from the hospital, he’d been suffering deep depression and had tried unsuccessfully multiple times to commit suicide. Ever since the guys had found him in a bathtub full of water, wrists cut, and nearly dead, they’d been on alert, but had eased off lately, since Brian had seemed to be stabilizing a bit.

“I know, Jimmy. I’m okay. I’m just…thinking about everything.” Brian sighed and took another drag off his cigarette, having been doing it on automatic mode for the last five minutes.

“What’s everything, Bri? Talk to me. That’s what I’m here for. You’re my friend, and I love you, man. I don’t want to see you hurt, or lying in a hospital bed again, on the pavement nearly dead because of a drunk driver, or worse, lying still in a coffin, pale white, and cold. Brian, please.” Jimmy pleaded, reaching out to touch the lead.

“Who would love someone so broken, Jim? How could anyone love someone as broken as I am? Who would ever love a suicidal rock star, for something other than sex or my money?” Brian asked, leaning into Jimmy’s touch.

Jimmy hesitated for a minute, but sighed softly and stepped up behind Brian, wrapping his arms around the much too thin guitarist, leaning down to whisper in his ear. “I would.”

Brian shivered lightly, feeling Jimmy’s warm breath cross his ear and cheek.

Brian carefully turned in Jimmy’s arms, keeping the burning cigarette away from the artfully inked skin, until he came to be face to face with the elder man.

“You don’t get it, Jim. I’m not talking about a friendship, or a brotherhood. I’m talking about a lover. Someone who’d be there for me. Someone to sit there with me, like-…Like you did.” he said softly, the realization of what Jimmy told him finally dawning on him.

He dropped the cigarette from his fingers as he reached up to hold onto Jimmy‘s shirt, causing it to land on the balcony and roll harmlessly away from them.

“I know what you meant, Bri. I get it. I felt that way so many times over the years. You know my past, Brian. You’re the only one out of all our friends that knows the full truth, and not just half of it. Brian, I sat by your bed for twelve hours every day while you were in the hospital. I’m the one who stayed there and helped you in and out of bed and a wheelchair. I was the one who washed your body when you were in the coma. I’m the one who helped you into the shower and to wash up, then back to bed. Do you know why I did that?” Jimmy asked, staring straight into the lead’s eyes.

Brian didn’t even have to think about the answer. He already knew.

“Because you love me.”

Jimmy nodded, leaning forward to press his forehead to Brian’s own.

“Damn right, I love you. I loved you when we were in school, I loved you while you were in the hospital, I love you now, and I’ll love you until the day we both die. I swear it.”

Brian saw the sincerity of Jimmy’s words and reached up, wrapping his arms around the drummer’s neck, letting himself fully relax for the first time since Michelle left him.

Jimmy smiled softly to himself then moved closer to Brian, capturing his lips in a soft, loving kiss.

Jimmy took in the taste of Brian and savored it. The taste of stale cigarettes, a hint of the beer he’d drank at dinner, and the full, heady taste that was uniquely Brian.

Brian gave a soft moan, the taste that was purely Jimmy exploded in his mouth, falling in love with that taste almost immediately.

Brian sighed softly when they pulled apart, still standing close together.

“Promise you’ll never leave me, Jimmy.” Brian whispered, his eyes closed as his head leaned against Jimmy’s shoulder.

Jimmy didn’t even have to think about that answer. “I promise, baby. I promise.”

Brian nodded and gasped softly when Jimmy picked him up in his arms and carried him back into the hotel room, closing the sliding glass door behind him.

As he was laid back on the bed, Brian couldn’t help but notice the angelic look that the soft light from outside gave to Jimmy’s form.

Jimmy carefully climbed up on the bed with him, leaning down to capture a kiss as he carefully pulled at Brian’s shirt, feeling the button-down he wore coming undone with each careful tug.

Brian gasped when his shirt was tugged away from his chest, leaving him exposed to Jimmy’s touch and sights.

“Brian, You don’t have to hide from me. I’ve already seen them.” Jimmy whispered softly, leaning down to kiss Brian softly, feeling the younger man kiss him back and give a slight nod.

Jimmy carefully pulled the button-down off Brian’s arms, tossing it to the floor as he felt Brian pulling his shirt up, trying to get it up over his head.

Jimmy laughed softly and pulled it off, dropping it to the floor as well before he was pulled back down into a heated kiss.

Before either man could fully comprehend what had happened, they laid curled up together in the bed, Jimmy’s arms wrapped possessively around Brian, and the younger’s head on Jimmy’s chest.

Brian stirred and bit and tried to sit up, but was pulled back down with a playful growl from Jimmy.

“Jimmy, let me up. I need a smoke.” Brian said, a soft giggle-like laugh escaping him.

“Fine, but I’m coming with you.” Jimmy said, letting him go and standing up, headed for the sliding glass doors.

“Put on some clothes first, babe. I don’t want the world to see what’s mine.” Brian said, a smirk on his face.

Jimmy laughed and pulled on his boxers and jeans as Brian did the same, then headed out onto the balcony.

Brian lit up a cigarette as he stepped out the door, only to have Jimmy’s arms wrap around him from behind as he stood next to the railing.

“This, right here, is what I’ve wanted for years.” Jimmy said softly, kissing the side of Brian’s neck.

“Then this, right here, is what you’ll have for the rest of our lives.”