I Never Meant to Be so Cliche
A Problem
This felt very much like a dream, the one where you are running from something for a very long time. It felt like I was floating in midair, my body was at least. My mind was still clear on Earth. That's how I knew this wasn't a dream. This was real. I was still real. Ronnie was still real. The book in my hands that seemed like lies was in fact . . . real.
He didn't lie to me.
Maybe my sanity had slipped away. Maybe someone had finally decided to send me somewhere with white walls and cushioned floors. This was all a hallucination maybe. But, yet, there was still a man crying in my arms. There was still the stench of an hundred year old book. There was still me sitting in a ware house talking about Masters and creatures of the night.
I wonder if this has happened to anyone before me. Not this particular situation, but the thought of someone going through this made it easier. Maybe this fictional person was normal. Maybe they had a family who cared. Maybe they had friends and siblings, and they had seen many years of love and heart break. Maybe I wasn't alone. But, it felt like I was. It felt like my mind was slipping away with each breath, each heart beat.
I suddenly realized that I missed my distant parents. I missed the bullies at school. I missed the drama people would think up about my life. I missed it all.
But, at the same time, this was exciting. It was dangerous. That's what everyone wants, isn't it? A life where people want them for something. A life that they will never be bored of because they will never know what is going to happen. Yet, I wanted a boring life. I wanted to know that my future was secure, that I was capable of dying. I wanted to know that I was going to die in a way that wasn't painful.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be doing this right now." Ronnie said, standing back up. My skin seemed to feel the bitter chill of the air when it stopped the contact with his skin. He was like a heat that always seemed to burn.
It's alright. I signed to him.
"I'm sure there is still much you want to know, but it is getting very late. You should sleep. I understand this is a lot to take in, especially someone like you."
Yes, someone like me. I thought. Someone who didn't want adventure. Maybe, he was referring to the amount of bravery I had, or even the amount of normality. I didn't really know, and for the first time in my life I felt completely clueless. It has never really happened to me before. That's what I think scared me so much. I could always guess myself out of a situation, or at least use the fact that I didn't talk to my advantage and play deaf.
I couldn't here. I had to be real for the first time in my life. It was frightening really, but than again everything scared me, but also it didn't.
I won't sleep. I never do. I argued with him. If he knew me so well, he would know that, wouldn't he? Insomnia was always something that I have had to deal with. It was always clutching at me mind reminding me that I had no where to escape to, not even a dreamland where everything was meant to be about me. Nothing was about me. I like it that way.
He sighed. "Things don't change do they. I suppose you want me to tell you more than."
I nodded my head in reply.
"Where would you like me to begin?" He asked.
I picked the book back up carefully, sitting down on the worn couch once again. He quickly followed suit. The picture of him looking at the camera is the first thing I pointed to. It seemed important, and by the way his breath seemed to catch in his throat, he would think so as well.
"That," he said taking a deep breath into his lungs. "That was the day we met. It was a ball. I don't really remember what for. They had a lot of excuses to throw parties back then. You and I were both there obviously. You were taking pictures, and I noticed you earlier in the night doing so. I don't know what happened, but you suddenly turned the camera to me, and I turned to you. I wasn't much for pictures, so I wasn't too pleased that you were taking it. You seemed to notice that, and took it anyways."
That would explain the look in his eyes.
"Well, after that you came over to me. We chatted for a while, and I asked you to dinner." He finished.
I talked back then? I asked.
"Yes, and no," He said. "In the beginning of our relationship, you didn't, but I knew sign. So, it wasn't much of an issue. After a while, you opened up, but you were very specific of what you said."
What do you mean?
"It's hard to explain. You see your powers-" He was cut off by someone storming into the room. I didn't know who it was, but the vampire I had met in the previous night was following close behind him, as was Frank. He had a look in his eyes. One I could tell was dangerous even behind his thick glasses.
"We have a problem." That was all he said.
Frank gave me a worried look. "They know, Ronnie."
Ronnie threw me a concerned look as well. Before I knew it, someone else stormed in as well, and it was the only person I ever thought was a monster.
He didn't lie to me.
Maybe my sanity had slipped away. Maybe someone had finally decided to send me somewhere with white walls and cushioned floors. This was all a hallucination maybe. But, yet, there was still a man crying in my arms. There was still the stench of an hundred year old book. There was still me sitting in a ware house talking about Masters and creatures of the night.
I wonder if this has happened to anyone before me. Not this particular situation, but the thought of someone going through this made it easier. Maybe this fictional person was normal. Maybe they had a family who cared. Maybe they had friends and siblings, and they had seen many years of love and heart break. Maybe I wasn't alone. But, it felt like I was. It felt like my mind was slipping away with each breath, each heart beat.
I suddenly realized that I missed my distant parents. I missed the bullies at school. I missed the drama people would think up about my life. I missed it all.
But, at the same time, this was exciting. It was dangerous. That's what everyone wants, isn't it? A life where people want them for something. A life that they will never be bored of because they will never know what is going to happen. Yet, I wanted a boring life. I wanted to know that my future was secure, that I was capable of dying. I wanted to know that I was going to die in a way that wasn't painful.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be doing this right now." Ronnie said, standing back up. My skin seemed to feel the bitter chill of the air when it stopped the contact with his skin. He was like a heat that always seemed to burn.
It's alright. I signed to him.
"I'm sure there is still much you want to know, but it is getting very late. You should sleep. I understand this is a lot to take in, especially someone like you."
Yes, someone like me. I thought. Someone who didn't want adventure. Maybe, he was referring to the amount of bravery I had, or even the amount of normality. I didn't really know, and for the first time in my life I felt completely clueless. It has never really happened to me before. That's what I think scared me so much. I could always guess myself out of a situation, or at least use the fact that I didn't talk to my advantage and play deaf.
I couldn't here. I had to be real for the first time in my life. It was frightening really, but than again everything scared me, but also it didn't.
I won't sleep. I never do. I argued with him. If he knew me so well, he would know that, wouldn't he? Insomnia was always something that I have had to deal with. It was always clutching at me mind reminding me that I had no where to escape to, not even a dreamland where everything was meant to be about me. Nothing was about me. I like it that way.
He sighed. "Things don't change do they. I suppose you want me to tell you more than."
I nodded my head in reply.
"Where would you like me to begin?" He asked.
I picked the book back up carefully, sitting down on the worn couch once again. He quickly followed suit. The picture of him looking at the camera is the first thing I pointed to. It seemed important, and by the way his breath seemed to catch in his throat, he would think so as well.
"That," he said taking a deep breath into his lungs. "That was the day we met. It was a ball. I don't really remember what for. They had a lot of excuses to throw parties back then. You and I were both there obviously. You were taking pictures, and I noticed you earlier in the night doing so. I don't know what happened, but you suddenly turned the camera to me, and I turned to you. I wasn't much for pictures, so I wasn't too pleased that you were taking it. You seemed to notice that, and took it anyways."
That would explain the look in his eyes.
"Well, after that you came over to me. We chatted for a while, and I asked you to dinner." He finished.
I talked back then? I asked.
"Yes, and no," He said. "In the beginning of our relationship, you didn't, but I knew sign. So, it wasn't much of an issue. After a while, you opened up, but you were very specific of what you said."
What do you mean?
"It's hard to explain. You see your powers-" He was cut off by someone storming into the room. I didn't know who it was, but the vampire I had met in the previous night was following close behind him, as was Frank. He had a look in his eyes. One I could tell was dangerous even behind his thick glasses.
"We have a problem." That was all he said.
Frank gave me a worried look. "They know, Ronnie."
Ronnie threw me a concerned look as well. Before I knew it, someone else stormed in as well, and it was the only person I ever thought was a monster.