I Never Meant to Be so Cliche
New Girl
I walked briskly out of my home. I've heard plenty of different stories about what my family and house is like. They are all fake of course. Just mindless gossip that the school has to have in order to function like one cell. Everyone needs to know everything about everyone, or the whole system collapses. It doesn't matter if you want them to know or not. They always know, and they always find out your deepest secrets. That's what teenagers are the best out, gathering and faking information.
My home life was cliche simple. I had a mother and a father. My father worked nights and my mother days. They don't spend very much time at home, so I kind of raised myself in a way. I didn't mind that much. You can't miss something you never had. I never really knew anything about my parents besides the looks on their faces when they are rushing. My father got home when I have already left for school, and my mother leaves right before then. It worked the other way around to. When my dad when to work my mother got home. I understand that when they have free time, they want to spend it with each other. They didn't need to bother with the non talking child in the corner. I didn't really mind.
I usually walked to school. It wasn't far, and it gave me time to think. I never had anything in particular, just anything really. Sometimes I thought of something as boring as the weather. Sometimes I would create the perfect life in my head where I could scream and shout all my feelings to anyone who would listen and then go home be happy for the rest of my life. I would never do that though. I would be to afraid of the attention. People would be staring at me, and I wouldn't know how to handle it. Just thinking about it made my breath quicken. I was never meant to be happy anyways.
Happy. It was a strange concept. It was like thinking about the afterlife. No one really knew what was there, and everyone thought it was different. Everyone interrupted and found it in different ways. I've heard it explained as an over whelming sense of weightlessness that you could just fly off of. I never experienced that. I never really experienced emotions that much anymore, just fear, but no one wants to live in constant fear.
I podded up to the road where the dreaded school building lies ahead. I hated it here, but I would endure it because it was the only thing keeping me from doing something stupid.
The halls were crowded. The rooms were empty. Everyone hated first period. It was the single that you weren't actually going to wake up in your bed anytime soon, and that this reality is what you are stuck in until you go into the eternal resting state. I didn't mind first period. To me, it meant that I was still alive. That this wasn't all a dream my mind was creating to make me feel better in a comatose state, or it wasn't replaying the events of my life over and over again in my head.
I walked into the room, and something wasn't right. There were one too many heads. One too many shades of fake colored hair. There was one too many. I went to my back seat and realized why. Ronnie Radke decided to show up today. Why? I have no clue. For a number of reasons on his part. Maybe they were finally forcing him to show up or fail out of the year. No one wants to the loser who failed senior year of high school.
I ignored his very presence in the seat right next to mine. He didn't need my ever growing attention placed on him. He got plenty from the other students shocked to see him here. The classes he does bother to show up to are no where near as difficult as this one. I sometimes wonder if he was smart enough to even come.
"Alright, class. Today we are going to begin with a new student. Everyone this is Keaira." Th teacher said interrupting all previous conversations.
Black hair fell in front of her face and went down her back. Her skin was pale white with little to no flaws. Dark eyes glistened through the shining hair with a predatory look. Her style matched one of no other. Black tightly figured clothes hugged her well shaped body. Combat boots came up to her mid shin. She looked as like she was going to attack someone in here at any possible moment. She was new meat. She was going to be the one attacked, not the other way around.
"Why don't you take a seat right . . .take a seat right in front of Ronnie in the back corner. Oh, and Mr. Radke so nice of you to join us this fine morning." The teacher said with a fake smile that told her true, rotten feelings towards the boy.
"Always a pleasure." He mumbled back in reply. He was staring at the girl making her way down the aisle as if his life depended on it. She was staring back with the same sort of intensity. They either want sex or they knew each other.
She took her seat silently, flipping her hair back to hit Ronnie's agitated features. They definitely knew each other. There was a burning passion of some sort in the air around them. It wasn't normal. I could feel something not right about this new girl, and I could feel something change about Ronnie.
He glanced quickly over to me, and I noticed I was staring. I looked back to the board. I didn't do it quickly or anything. I wasn't embarrassed with the thought of looking at another human being, especially an attractive one. It's not like anyone would yell at the mute kid. I could stare at the most popular people in school for a full twenty minutes with them yelling me to stop, and I would never have to explain my self. I was a mute. It was something I could get away with.
The teacher handed out a packet with equations and numbers filtering the pages making it seem like an impossible task in such a short amount of time. Then she told us it was group work, and you could each do a separate page.
I despised group work. I have never spoken a word to anyone in this class, and she stills insists that I do some team building exercises. I never had a team, and if I did the only players were me, myself, and I. These things were a waste of time anyways. Everyone would pick their best friends and get no work done. It was unrealistic of her to think that these people were capable of a higher thinking capacity and still able to carry a conversation only about one simple enough subject such as math.
The teacher walked straight to the back corner. She was carrying a white board in her hand, and I knew what she was going to do. She handed me the white board with a marker and a tissue while twisting my desk to face Ronnie's desk.
"Ronnie, Max, and you will all work together on this assignment. Max is my best student, so if you need any help, ask him. Ronnie, try not to make trouble." The teacher said to Keaira then addressing Ronnie in a teacherly tone.
They both sighed but still moved to get in a triangle formation with my already bent desk.
"So, your name is Max then?" Keaira asked.
I nodded my head.
"What are we doing then?" She sighed leaning back.
I pointed to the worksheets and started on the first page. These calculations were easy for me. Numbers were easy for me in general. In numbers, there was always a right answer, and there was always a wrong answer. It wasn't that way with anything else. Everything else was so easily undecided. It constantly confused me.
"How do you do number one?" The girl asked breaking the silence our group had created.
I took her paper and worked her through the steps. Then I handed it back.
"Dude, you could have just told me. I still have no idea how to do this." She said looking over the paper.
I just shrugged and tried to point to things that would help. I even wrote how to do one step by step on the white board. The whole while Ronnie was not helping at all. He was doing his work. He just wasn't helping.
"Do you know how to form sentences? I need fucking words not some stupid arrows!" She sighed leaning back in her chair again. I was shocked. People didn't usually react this way when I didn't speak to them. They usually went along their business, ignoring me like it was nothing.
"He's a mute." Ronnie said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"He's a mute? You're a mute?" Keaira asked looking between Ronnie then me. Something in her eyes wasn't right like she knew something about me that I didn't.
"Yes, he's a mute. He doesn't talk. What did you think all this effort was for. He can't say anything." He said giving the new girl a look. She gave him one right back, and they seemed to have a conversation in their own thoughts. How I was envious of that connection between two people.
I definitely knew that these guys weren't just meeting each other. They knew each other.
My home life was cliche simple. I had a mother and a father. My father worked nights and my mother days. They don't spend very much time at home, so I kind of raised myself in a way. I didn't mind that much. You can't miss something you never had. I never really knew anything about my parents besides the looks on their faces when they are rushing. My father got home when I have already left for school, and my mother leaves right before then. It worked the other way around to. When my dad when to work my mother got home. I understand that when they have free time, they want to spend it with each other. They didn't need to bother with the non talking child in the corner. I didn't really mind.
I usually walked to school. It wasn't far, and it gave me time to think. I never had anything in particular, just anything really. Sometimes I thought of something as boring as the weather. Sometimes I would create the perfect life in my head where I could scream and shout all my feelings to anyone who would listen and then go home be happy for the rest of my life. I would never do that though. I would be to afraid of the attention. People would be staring at me, and I wouldn't know how to handle it. Just thinking about it made my breath quicken. I was never meant to be happy anyways.
Happy. It was a strange concept. It was like thinking about the afterlife. No one really knew what was there, and everyone thought it was different. Everyone interrupted and found it in different ways. I've heard it explained as an over whelming sense of weightlessness that you could just fly off of. I never experienced that. I never really experienced emotions that much anymore, just fear, but no one wants to live in constant fear.
I podded up to the road where the dreaded school building lies ahead. I hated it here, but I would endure it because it was the only thing keeping me from doing something stupid.
The halls were crowded. The rooms were empty. Everyone hated first period. It was the single that you weren't actually going to wake up in your bed anytime soon, and that this reality is what you are stuck in until you go into the eternal resting state. I didn't mind first period. To me, it meant that I was still alive. That this wasn't all a dream my mind was creating to make me feel better in a comatose state, or it wasn't replaying the events of my life over and over again in my head.
I walked into the room, and something wasn't right. There were one too many heads. One too many shades of fake colored hair. There was one too many. I went to my back seat and realized why. Ronnie Radke decided to show up today. Why? I have no clue. For a number of reasons on his part. Maybe they were finally forcing him to show up or fail out of the year. No one wants to the loser who failed senior year of high school.
I ignored his very presence in the seat right next to mine. He didn't need my ever growing attention placed on him. He got plenty from the other students shocked to see him here. The classes he does bother to show up to are no where near as difficult as this one. I sometimes wonder if he was smart enough to even come.
"Alright, class. Today we are going to begin with a new student. Everyone this is Keaira." Th teacher said interrupting all previous conversations.
Black hair fell in front of her face and went down her back. Her skin was pale white with little to no flaws. Dark eyes glistened through the shining hair with a predatory look. Her style matched one of no other. Black tightly figured clothes hugged her well shaped body. Combat boots came up to her mid shin. She looked as like she was going to attack someone in here at any possible moment. She was new meat. She was going to be the one attacked, not the other way around.
"Why don't you take a seat right . . .take a seat right in front of Ronnie in the back corner. Oh, and Mr. Radke so nice of you to join us this fine morning." The teacher said with a fake smile that told her true, rotten feelings towards the boy.
"Always a pleasure." He mumbled back in reply. He was staring at the girl making her way down the aisle as if his life depended on it. She was staring back with the same sort of intensity. They either want sex or they knew each other.
She took her seat silently, flipping her hair back to hit Ronnie's agitated features. They definitely knew each other. There was a burning passion of some sort in the air around them. It wasn't normal. I could feel something not right about this new girl, and I could feel something change about Ronnie.
He glanced quickly over to me, and I noticed I was staring. I looked back to the board. I didn't do it quickly or anything. I wasn't embarrassed with the thought of looking at another human being, especially an attractive one. It's not like anyone would yell at the mute kid. I could stare at the most popular people in school for a full twenty minutes with them yelling me to stop, and I would never have to explain my self. I was a mute. It was something I could get away with.
The teacher handed out a packet with equations and numbers filtering the pages making it seem like an impossible task in such a short amount of time. Then she told us it was group work, and you could each do a separate page.
I despised group work. I have never spoken a word to anyone in this class, and she stills insists that I do some team building exercises. I never had a team, and if I did the only players were me, myself, and I. These things were a waste of time anyways. Everyone would pick their best friends and get no work done. It was unrealistic of her to think that these people were capable of a higher thinking capacity and still able to carry a conversation only about one simple enough subject such as math.
The teacher walked straight to the back corner. She was carrying a white board in her hand, and I knew what she was going to do. She handed me the white board with a marker and a tissue while twisting my desk to face Ronnie's desk.
"Ronnie, Max, and you will all work together on this assignment. Max is my best student, so if you need any help, ask him. Ronnie, try not to make trouble." The teacher said to Keaira then addressing Ronnie in a teacherly tone.
They both sighed but still moved to get in a triangle formation with my already bent desk.
"So, your name is Max then?" Keaira asked.
I nodded my head.
"What are we doing then?" She sighed leaning back.
I pointed to the worksheets and started on the first page. These calculations were easy for me. Numbers were easy for me in general. In numbers, there was always a right answer, and there was always a wrong answer. It wasn't that way with anything else. Everything else was so easily undecided. It constantly confused me.
"How do you do number one?" The girl asked breaking the silence our group had created.
I took her paper and worked her through the steps. Then I handed it back.
"Dude, you could have just told me. I still have no idea how to do this." She said looking over the paper.
I just shrugged and tried to point to things that would help. I even wrote how to do one step by step on the white board. The whole while Ronnie was not helping at all. He was doing his work. He just wasn't helping.
"Do you know how to form sentences? I need fucking words not some stupid arrows!" She sighed leaning back in her chair again. I was shocked. People didn't usually react this way when I didn't speak to them. They usually went along their business, ignoring me like it was nothing.
"He's a mute." Ronnie said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"He's a mute? You're a mute?" Keaira asked looking between Ronnie then me. Something in her eyes wasn't right like she knew something about me that I didn't.
"Yes, he's a mute. He doesn't talk. What did you think all this effort was for. He can't say anything." He said giving the new girl a look. She gave him one right back, and they seemed to have a conversation in their own thoughts. How I was envious of that connection between two people.
I definitely knew that these guys weren't just meeting each other. They knew each other.