I Never Meant to Be so Cliche

I paced and paced and paced. He put a seed of doubt in my mind. That's what he did. That's what he does. He makes people think, makes them criticize, and makes them forget who they are. I knew who I was. I was Max Green, mute extraordinaire. I wasn't special. I wasn't abnormal. I was cliché and normal, and I was a only child.

This wasn't right anymore. Everything was wrong. I had forgotten what I was. I was human, sure, but what Ronnie was saying made me forget that I was. I couldn't remember those things, things that didn't happen. I could remember the here and the now. I couldn't remember what wasn't and shouldn't be.

The more I thought, the more I racked my brain for un-useful information about nothing, the more I became concerned. Things, images, stuff that wasn't there before suddenly came out of nowhere. Things like talking to Sally before the big dance. Things like kissing Mary Lee, and then telling her that I liked boys.

I don't live in the country. Never in my life have I met a girl named Mary Lee. That's what I thought at least.

My bedroom suddenly became too small. The pearl white walls were closing in, fast. This wasn't right. This was scary and frightening. My emotions weren't shutting down. The more I thought about how my life was meaningless, the more scared I became. What if my life wasn't meaningless? What if something happened and this wasn't the life I was supposed to be living?

I had to leave. i couldn't be a caged animal for any longer. I needed to leave now or I wouldn't make it. That's what I thought. Never did I think of the consequences. Why did I never think of the consequences?

I left my house quickly, heading nowhere in particular. I just walked. i walked and let my mind race a thousand miles faster than it should.

There was no one I could tell this, too. No one would believe me. No one cared. i was just a mute boy who got into some trouble. Big whooped di doo. I was alone, like Ronnie said. I was alone and this was the first time I would admit it to myself.

Who would want to think about their loneliness? I don't. So, I never did. I never thought of the crushing silence when I was home alone, of the single pair of footsteps in the hall, of the fact that no one said hello or good bye to me, of the fact that no one gave a second glance anymore. I didn't think about it. Why would I want to?

"Max!" Someone shouted from behind me.

I looked around. Being nearly three miles away from my house by now, I noticed I entered apartment territory. Tall building lined the streets like the trees lined the forest. Oh how I wished to be one of the trees or one of the buildings. Something someone noticed, but it was so common that they thought nothing of it and continued on their way. Something that people fought for once it became old enough. I was old now, but all the fighting over me had finished.

My head turned far enough to see the person who called my name. It was the new girl. Apparently I had forgotten the newest person to go through the stages of dealing with a mute kid. She was in stage two maybe three. She was interested in me still at least. Someone was here to dull my thoughts for a moment.

"Hey, you look freezing. You should come inside." She said, pulling my arm. I didn't realize the Goosebumps on my skin or my chattering teeth until now. Apparently I didn't even notice myself sometimes.

Following her up three flights of stairs and down two rows of halls, she opened the door to what I assumed was her place, and followed her inside.

It was small and simple. There was things people thoughts were necessary like a couch and a chair that was strategically placed around a coffee table. The walls were left blank. No inspiration was on them. They were there in their cream colored glory. There was no statement in them, but they were there none the less.

"Sit down, please. Do you want anything to drink?" She asked heading for door to what I thought was the kitchen. She didn't see me shake my head.

A glass of water and paper with a pen on top of it was placed on the coffee table in front of me. I was sitting on her brown couch. She wanted to communicate with me. I wanted to leave. Something about the way she sat so close to me or the way she swung her hips when she was walking made me feel uneasy. She was a pretty girl, don't get me wrong, but she looked like a predator, like she waiting for her moment to strike.

"What were you doing outside in this weather?" She asked, rubbing one of my arms like she was trying to warm me. Goosebumps trailed with her delicate fingers. Any person would think it's from excitement. Being this close to a pretty girl with her touching you in a flirtatious way was any guy's dream, but it wasn't mine. I didn't like this situation. I was more frightened than before, but I was good at not showing it.

I grabbed the paper at the same time making her let go of me. I was out walking. I scribble in my messy handwriting.

She giggled lightly. "I know that, silly," she said hitting my arm, "Why were you walking out there when a storm is supposed to come any second?"

Needed some air. I wrote.

"Was something wrong?" She asked. Her fingers trailing from my arm to my face. She pulled back some of my fallen hair and tucked it behind my ears.

Just stressed is all.

"I can fix that." She whispered.

Her face came closer to mine, but I didn't move. I didn't know what to do. This doesn't usually happen to people like me.

Pink, lipstick covered lips brushed my own chapped ones. Still I did nothing.

I didn't like this, but I couldn't move.

Her lips slammed onto mine. I reacted, but I didn't know why. Smooth hands ran up my arms and down my chest.

I didn't like this, but I couldn't move.

"Let me help you forget." She whispered. I didn't want her to help me forget. I didn't want her.

I didn't want this, but I couldn't move.

It was happening again. This was all happening again. I had been here before. I had already played this role. The role of the victim, but she wasn't the hunter. It was someone else, but it didn't feel like it. It felt like the same hands roaming my torso. It felt like the same lips goings over my pulse point. It felt like the same fingers that gripped my t-shirt. It felt the same, but it wasn't. I knew what I didn't know then. Why didn't I try and stop it?

Her lips skimmed me ear. "You are very handsome, Maxie."

Something reacted then. Something primal. My hands became my own, and I pushed her away. My feet started to work as well as I stood over her body on the floor. She looked at me shocked, and I looked at her angry. Her shock subsided quickly though to something more evil.

Once sweet brown eyes were now black. Black and boiling. Her form seemed to change. Her hair turned to that of another color, to white as a pale corpse after a long night of death. Once fair skin turned to black festering boils and warping scales. Her human tongue grew and sharpened to that of a snake. She was no woman anymore.

She jumped onto her feet and reached her claws out to me. I backed away quickly, trying to find a place to go to. She had me cornered. Her sharp tongue coiled out at me as she hissed a terrible sound before a god awful shriek came out of her mouth. It was like a banshee’s scream. I covered my ears. They felt like they were going to bleed.

Pouncing, she flung her arms all around, scratching my skin, pulling at me clothes. Her attack was strong, and I wasn't. My own arms were a weak defense against her as her sharp nails cut my skin into bits and pieces.

I didn't know what to do. My arms were bleeding. My clothes were being torn. Ringing was all I could hear, and there was a monster on top of me! My mind raced. I wanted to scream. I wanted to fight back. I didn't know how though.

The faster my heart pounded the faster blood pumped out of my cut veins and onto the floor. My lungs ached from holding in my breath in terror. I was going to die hear. i was going to die because of this creature's attack. The creature I thought was a girl.

Her hand came down onto my chest and with one foul swoop my entire chest was cut open. I screamed. I screamed and my own voice scared me more than the creature, but it scared her more. She reacted the way I did, covering her ears in terror.

"G-G-Get off of m-m-me!" I tried to scream. It took a couple of tries, but once the stuttering mess was out, her body flew away like someone pushed her. I checked to make sure it wasn't me because my own arms could barely hold themselves up. I looked over at her body sprawled across the floor in pain. She was already starting to shift back with a groan.

I did the only rational thing coming to my mind. I ran, and I ran fast.

out the apartment door I flew. My body was reacting on its own accord as I jumped down stairs and into the rain filled street. The falling water dropped onto my many cuts burning me in the process. Who knew something you needed in order to survive could also take away or will to.

I ran until I felt my feet go numb, until my lungs screamed, until my throat could no longer handle the heavy breathing. I ran until my heart was too fast to hear individual beat. i ran until I couldn't, and then I ran some more.

My body started to shut down the way I wish it would a long time ago. My vision went first. The drops were bad enough but now my vision was blurring on its own. My hearing of the thunderous rain was next. The skin covering my body was no longer able to feel anything. My mind was no longer able to think about anything other than rest and sleep.

The feet I prayed to not fail did then. I feel to the ground. My back now screamed in agony as I landed on the concrete. No one was there. I was going to die here. Blood pooled around my body, but you could tell because it was washing away just as fast. My mouth had to stay closed because I didn't want to suffocate. No, bleeding to death sounded better to me.

As I lay there I wondered, was this how it was going to end? I was going to die here with more questions than answers? Better yet, was I dying alone? Did no one care? I always thought about my significance, but I never wanted to be proven right.

My own rain started to shut down as my conscious started to leave me then. At least my suffering wouldn't last much longer.

There was a yell and blinding lights. I didn't know what was going on. I heard a voice telling me to stay with them, but I didn't want to. I was done fighting. I fought too long already. I was down for the count.

"Max, stay with me goddamnit! Stay with me! Open your eyes!" Someone yelled repeatedly. I knew that voice.

"Ronnie." I whispered, and I was gone.