Give Me The Chance To Be The Person I Want To Be

I rolled over, mindlessly slamming the insistent alarm clock until it stopped ringing. Sighing, I swung my feet over the side of the bed and felt for my slippers. Rubbing my eyes and yawning I did my usual morning routine that I've done for the past 2 and a half months since the first day of school that consisted of me brushing my teeth, taking a shower, and getting dressed.
After all of this I went downstairs to my breakfast for one. Usually one of my parents companies me here at home, but it hasn't been like that for the past month. My mother had picked up an earlier shift at her job and my dad, being the guitar man he was, was on tour for the rest of the year as a fill in for another band. I ate my cereal at the table as I silently read the ingredients that were printed on the side of the box for what felt like the millionth time. I finished up in the kitchen, placing my bowl on the pile of dishes in the sink. I went back upstairs to retrieve my backpack and checked for any unlocked windows.
Just as I were about to step out of the house I met my reflection in the mirror, brown eyes gazing back at me. I was just the same 'ole Brian Haner Jr, brown, blonde tipped hair gelled up in short spikes, pale complexion, beige khakis, and white shirt under a dark blue sweater vest. "Looking better than ever Brian," I smiled back at myself before running off to the bus that was sitting outside my house as usual.
I took my normal seat at the front of the bus and that’s when I saw her. Heather Dawson. One of the most popular and beautiful girls at my school. I've had the biggest crush on her since I was in the first grade, and she was in the second. I always tried to work up the nerve to talk to her ever since I first laid eyes on her, but I had always managed to pussy out, but why would she ever want to talk to a guy like me? She is gorgeous…has that beautiful head of platinum blonde hair that curled just before her breast that always seem to mesmerize me…a rockin' body… and she wears all the latest clothes and trends. Whats not to love? Then on the other hand, is me. I'm intelligent, which is considered a deadly disease at my school. I'm scrawny, under six foot, and a freshman. If all of this doesn't make you attractive what does? (note the sarcasm)
The bus finally made it's final stop at Huntington Beach High and all the students that were inside, filed out like wild animals, but lucky enough I was able to get pushed behind none other than Heather. She turned around to glare at me, but it quickly transformed into a smile. A-fucking-smile!
"H-Hey Heather!" I stuttered out loudly. Smooth.
"Yeah, what is it?"
"I'm Brian Haner," I smiled nervously, my palms sweating.
"Oh, I know."
"You know." I repeated stupidly. "What? You know, but how?"
"Yeah, you're in Gabe's fourth period class." Oh I knew who Gabe was. Gabe Monte. He's star quarterback on our schools football team. He's only in my English class because he failed last year. He's good news' worst nightmare, along with mine. I always try to stay as far away as possible from that loon.
"Why did you ask Gabe?" I asked my hopes somewhat rising.
Heather flipped her hair with one hand, using her other to cover her mouth to try and stifle the laughs escaping her mouth as we stepped off the bus. "I asked him who was the freakin' geek loner kid that keeps staring at me on the bus. Gabe knew who I was speaking about right away!" She and her friends broke into squeals of laughter making me feel even more like an outcast.
The rest of the day slunked by at a horrible slow pace and I just couldn't wait to get home. I tried to avoid staring Heather all day. I think we all know how that turned out, but I was just and always will be that "geeky, loner kid". Her cruel words kept replaying in my head all day and night. (and as awful as it seems, even in my dreams.)