Blitz

POV: Ryan Lamont

I grabbed my bag roughly off the chair and turned around to walk out of the room. I glanced at Andrew, not really wanting to explain anything, and just walked past him. I know this action probably worried him more than me just acting normal... But how could I?

Never had Garid been so cruel! Who just throws stuff like that into someones face? First it made me hate my families background, then make me feel like I really should die, and finally make me wonder if my 'relationship' was even worth it.

I shouldn't be thinking these things. Why did Hitler have to make hell for anyone with German background? It's not like my family was supportive of it. Sure, we had a couple Nazi's in the family, but one of them was forced to go or they'd kill our family... The other was pretty much brain washed.

Whatever.

I saw Andrew glance at me, then he seemed to linger in the doorway before he actually jogged to catch up. "Ryan, what's wrong?" he wrapped his arm across my waist, hesitantly kissing my cheek.

“Es macht nichts.” I muttered, not even really thinking about what language I was speaking in. I was so used to using German first most of my life that when I am upset I default to it. I turned away and shifted my bag to my other shoulder.

"Say it again?" Did he not understand me or what?

I looked back at him getting frustrated, “Vergiss es.” It wasn't important and I didn't feel like explaining.

"I refuse to forget it when you look like your Xbox just broke!" He spun me around to force me to look at him, "Now please, tell me what's wrong." he pulled me in, holding me. I always felt safe here...

I sighed heavily, eyes off at the floor. “Garid just said some things...”

"What things?" he ushered.

“Just some really offensive things...”

"Like?"

“I don't want to repeat em!” I spat, turning around to start walking again and saw Garid.

“Dude, I’m really sorry, okay?” Garid apologized again, sighing, then walked further down the hallway to his locker.

I simply glanced at him and said nothing. I didn't even want to see him. I just want to pretend it didn't happen... Which is really hard because I have not been so insulted and all before in my life. I guess it doesn't happen in Germany as much because we all have a family past we'd much rather forget.

Andrew squinted his eyes, walking to Garid. "What the hell did you do to him?"

“I didn't do anything, I just said stuff I shouldn't have. I have apologized twice already! Get off! Aside from that it was only because your boy toy fucking kissed me. Fuck off!” Garid spat, shoving him away.

“Andrew, don't worry about it.” I said, trying to pull him away. I didn't want to make Andrew upset... especially on top of this... I couldn't handle anymore shit. “And I barely did! I wouldn't even call it that.”

“Oh whatever! You just don't want Andrew pissed at you. Your lips totally were on mine and I didn't like it!”

“You still didn't need to say those things!”

Andrew pulled his hand away and was now glaring at me instead of Garid. He was upset... And I guess had Garid not reacted the way he did, I would have actually been happy with his reaction. I just wanted to figure out what we were... but right now I just want to go home and get over this. "You fucking kissed him?!"

“Yeah, why don't you fucking yell at me too and tell me to go die in a fucking gas chamber!” I mumbled, regretting ever kissing him. I glanced from Garid to Andrew then walked off. “I'm never doing it again!”

"You said that to him? What the hell is wrong with you? You don't say shit like that to people!" he screamed at Garid, then scurried to catch me. "Ryan... I'm sorry I yelled at you. I just don't like that you kissed him. You shouldn't have had to hear the things he said to you. I know you're upset, but you should be able to open up to me, please?" he stood in front of me, hands on either side of my hips. Well, at least I knew he didn't want me to kiss anyone else... one step closer to solving the problem, right?

He looked off at the floor. “Why don't you like that I kissed him?” he asked, glancing at him. He said it rather quiet, not sure if he even wanted Andrew to hear it. “Can we just go? I don't really want to sit in school and pour my heart out. In fact, I fucking hate this place.”

He nodded, opening the door for me, then passing through. We walked to the parking lot in silence, getting into Andrew's car. "Because I want to be the only one you kiss." he said softly as he turned on the engine.

“I don't enjoy kissing anyone really, aside from you.” I muttered, sinking into my seat. “Hell, Garid was just so fucking stupid!” He punched the door of the car, biting his lip and tried not to cry. “And what the hell are we anyway! I can't ever fucking tell!” My eyes teared up, and I turned away to look out the window.

He sighed, turning off the car and reaching for my arm, turning me. "Hey," he said softly, "I like you, a lot. And hopefully you feel the same for me. That's what we are, people who care about each other a lot." Cause that is really fucking clear! I care about Jayden a lot too, but you don't see me kissing him and him kissing me.

“So... what... am I your friend or what? Are you even gay?” I moved to open the car door and get out. “Cause I sure as hell haven't been able to figure it out! It's like sometimes I’m just your fucking friend and then other times you want to fuck around!”

"No!" he grabbed me, pulling me back in. "Ryan, it's not like that I swear." he paused. "I don't know what I am. I don't know if I’m gay or bi or whatever. But I do know I like you, I care about you, a lot. I'd never just fuck around with you." he said with pleading eyes.

“Okay, so I’m the guy you care about a lot but aren't sure if you really even are into guys and so here I am. Awesome.” I said sarcastically, tears streaming down my face. “Fuck... maybe being gay or bi isn't even worth it! I hated hearing him say that stuff to me...” I hit my head on the dash, then resting it there to look at the floor.

"I'm sorry! I'm just as confused as you are! I'm just trying to tell you how much you mean to me, please don't cry..." he grabbed my face, wiping the tears softly.

“I can't help it...” I moved my face away again, trying to wipe away my tears with my shirt sleeve. “He was so cruel... just cause of one thing... and I was just joking around, I didn't mean it at all! And I won't ever do it again...”

Andrew reached for me, pulling me into his chest. "Shhh... It's alright." he cooed. "I really do like you, Ryan, a lot."

I cried harder, digging my nails into Andrew's arm lightly, trying to calm down. “I don't like this...confusion... or feeling like this cause of what Garid said...”

"Garid's a stupid motherfucker that doesn't know the meaning of half the words he says. Nothing he said about you could ever be considered as true; don't cry because of who you are." he hugged me tighter.

I pulled away, using my sleeve to wipe my face again. “I don't know who the fuck I am! And it's really confusing when you can't even answer my questions with a straight answer! I’m sick of crying and I’m sick of sitting in this car, and I’m sick of being confused!” I moved to leave again.

"I'm gay, okay!" he screamed out. "The idea planted in my head the first time you kissed me. I guess its grown from there." he put his head down.

I looked back at him, tears still on his cheeks, “How do you know?” He really knew he was gay? And what ever happened to the girls he seemed interested in before?

"Because," he leaned in, kissing me slowly, then pulling back. "Because every time I fucking kiss you, I go insane. I like holding your hand too much, I just want to pull my hair out because of how crazy I am for you! That's how." he looked straight into my eyes. That didn't really tell me he was gay, he could be bisexual.

“But... how do you know you don't like girls? I mean, like I said, sometimes you act like I’m just your friend.” I countered, trying to understand myself as well as Andrew. I wasn't sure of myself even and I guess it's unfair for me to demand Andrew to tell me something.

"I was trying to refrain myself. I didn't want to admit I was gay." he said, obviously embarrassed.

“You completely ignored my first question...” I noted, sniffling and pulling my hood from my jacket over my head, pulling my legs onto the seat, resting my chin on my knees.

"When they walk past... the ones I used to think were just so amazing are just so... bland now. They're not you."

I stayed silent, trying to calm down and trying to understand Andrew and me. Nothing made since and Garid had made the already confusing process so much worse... because now I don't know if I can handle people saying mean things to me just because I like Andrew.

He rubbed my back comfortingly, continuously kissing my cheek. "You better now?"

"I don't know... I've just... No ones ever said anything so mean to me before..." my sobs quieted a little, clinging to him.

"Like I said before, none of those things are true. And I'll be here." he kissed my cheek again.

"Promise?" I asked quietly, burying my face in his shirt, arms around him tightly.

"I promise." he said softly.

We stayed silent, just holding eachother for a long while. Eventually I calmed down and Andrew pulled away to start the car and drove to his house.

"I'm sorry I kissed him..." I apologized, staring at my lap. All this was because I kissed Garid... My fault... But I also upset Andrew by it. I didn't think he'd care that much because honestly, we were never exclusive to each other. Well, it was never officially stated anyway.

"Don't feel guilty... I'm fine with it. As long as you never do it again." he quickly turned to me, smiling.

“What? Are you saying you don't know what we are exactly but I need to be exclusive to you?” I asked, glancing at him, confused. I didn't want to kiss anyone else, and I didn't want him to neither... But you can't tell someone they can't when they don't belong to you.

"Well, do you want to kiss other people?"

“No... I’m just trying to figure things out is all...”

He seemed to be sighing with relief. "What things? Maybe I could help." he took a right turn.

“Like why did you ignore my indirect question... What am I to you?”

"My...boyfriend?"

“Are you sure that's what it is?”

"I like and care about you enough. So yes, my boyfriend." he finalized, approaching his house and parking in the driveway.

“Really?” I said, getting out. I had to make sure that he really meant it.

He walked over to him me, standing right in front of me. He grabbed my hand, leaning his head down to rest on my forehead. "Yes, Ryan, really."

I smiled, wiping my eyes again. “That makes me really happy.”

"It makes me happy too." he smiled, kissing me. He pulled away, holding my hand while walking to the door. He reached in his pocket, getting out the key and unlocking the door, entering the house.

“So what are we going to do now?” I asked, looking up at him, then entering the house and sitting on the couch. His house was like my second home since I moved here in the middle of the last school year. It was around March or April.

"I dunno." he shrugged, going into the kitchen to look for something to eat.

“Why don't you just order pizza if you're hungry.” I laughed, turning the TV on. “We can watch a movie and pig out then.”

"That's a good idea." he smiled, walking over to the phone on the counter and dialing the pizza place's number; ordering enough for the two of them. He hung up when he was done, then walked into the living room. "What movie should we watch?"

“I don't know... just not a horror film. You can't handle those.” I smirked, though I wouldn't have minded. They just usually end with him clinging me and I never get to see the end of the film. “How about um... I don't even know... Oh! Lord of the Rings!”

He rolled his eyes playfully, looking through the collection of movies. he found it, popping it in tot he DVD player. "Nerd."

“Hey! Be nice or I’m not gonna let you kiss me for a week!”

"It's the truth." he mumbled, jumping on the couch and patting the seat next to him.

“Yeah, Yeah.” I laughed, moving to sit in Andrew's lap instead. It was much more comfortable than the couch and I could snuggle into him the entire three hours. Perfect.

"This works too." Andrew smiled, wrapping his arms around me. Our eyes shifted towards the TV as the opening credits started rolling.