Stuck in the "Friend Zone"

I anxiously paced the bus floor waiting for Alex to come back. I still had no ideas what to say to him. But I knew we needed to talk about this as soon as possible. My phone buzzed and I stopped my pacing to see a text from Cass that said “Calm yourself,” I smiled; of course she knew I was freaking out. I slipped my phone back into my pocket and continued my pacing. A few minutes later my phone buzzed again. My heartbeat sped up when I saw the text was from Alex. It said “Hey, can we talk? Meet me behind the bus so we can get a little more privacy.”
I felt like I was about to throw up. But I walked out of the bust and went behind it where I would meet Alex, then I continued my pacing.
Another five minutes passes until he arrived. I was looking at the ground so I didn’t see him right away and I almost ran into him. I looked up and said “Oh, sorry.” Almost… shyly? Why was I shy around my best friend. Wow this situation was screwed up.
“So umm… I want to talk about what happened on the bus.” Alex said.
“I assumed as much.”
“Look man, I’m sorry I don’t really know what happened. It was a mistake.”
My heart sank and I tried to hide the hurt from my face. 'It was a mistake.' rang through my ears repeating over and over. I should’ve known that’s what he was going to say, but there was a part of me that really wanted him to say that it hadn't been a mistake and that he would want to try out a relationship. But this was Alex. He was perfectly straight with a perfect girlfriend. Why would he give that up?
After a moment I said “I know, its fine. I guess it was my fault for coming up with the stupid bet anyways.”
“No it wasn't Jack. I'm just a whore, you know me.”
"But I was the one who came up with the whole idea, and if I hadn't then it wouldn't have happened then we wouldn't be awkward right now." I explained.
“How about it was no one’s fault and we leave it at that.” Alex suggested. “We forget it ever happened and move on with our lives.”
“Sounds like a pretty good solution." I lied.
"But I am sorry; I think running out made it a whole lot worse.” Alex said
“Ehh, it’s whatever. So are we all good?” I said.
“Yup, everything is forgotten.” He replied
But I couldn’t forget about what happened. And no matter what Alex said about not liking me more than a friend I didn’t think this incident would be the last. I tried to convince myself that these were thoughts brought on by wishful thinking. But I couldn’t get rid of them I guess I just have to prepare myself for constant disappointment now.

A couple days after the kissing incident we were on our way to New York. We were a couple hours away from our hotel and we had stopped at a gas station for a food run and to gas up. I was walking out of the gas station with a bag of Doritos and a bottle of water when I was dragged into the gas station bathroom.
"What the fuck," I exclaimed.
I turned to see Alex staring at me.
"What?" I asked.
But Alex didn't say anything. He did, however grab the sides of my face and pulled me down for a kiss.
My brain couldn't exactly register what was going on. Just a couple days ago he was claiming he didn't like me and everything that had happened had been completely forgotten, on his end at least.
We pulled apart and I said "Umm, what?"
"I'm sorry Jack, I just couldn't stop thinking about what happened and I thought well why not go for it."
"Umm there are a million reasons." I said.
"Yeah but right now I don't care." he replied and once again he kissed me.
Every thought was immediately wiped from my mind as Alex's lips moved against mine. I knew this was wrong, I knew I was helping Alex cheat. But at that moment I didn't care that we were compromising our friendship, and I wasn't thinking about how anyone could walk in on us. All that mattered was his hands on my hips and his lips against mine.
Before anyone could come looking for us we hurried back to bus. We drove to the hotel and all of us paraded into the hotel, getting our keys from the receptionist. We paired up for rooms (Alex and I together), and made our way to our rooms.
The moment Alex and I entered our room, we were liplocked again. We ended up in one of the two beds, legs tangled together. "Alex," I whispered "What are we doing?"
"Cuddling," Alex replied.
"I realize that, but what is this, what are we now?" I clarified.
"I don't know Jack, I'm too sleepy to figure it out right now, I'm just going with what's feeling right, and not over think it." Alex said, he snuggled closer to me then drifted off to sleep.
I still didn't know what was going, it was all too surreal. But Alex was right, we shouldn't over think this. There was time to figure it all out. With that I fell asleep with Alex in my arms and a smile on my face.