Molly Was a Good Girl

Number 4

You would think that school would have been stupidly easy for a girl like me. And it was, to an extent- I found the work simple and the teachers couldn’t be happier to give me top marks in everything. It was the people I could not stand. The horrible, vindictive, bitchy girls who did not understand that I had to act the way I did. They laughed behind their cigarettes and alcopops at Anna and I’s long, a-line skirts and wicker baskets. They made fun of us all of the time. It started out as harmless teasing, the odd shove here and there. But as we got older and didn’t change one tiny little bit, the teasing and shoving became worse and worse; it got to the point in year 9 where we couldn’t walk anywhere near one half of the school without being pushed in the mud or having our perfect hair pulled out in clumps. We would be locked in cupboards together, with shouts of “Lesbos! Go bake cookies together you fucking disgusting prissy bitches!”

To say that it got me down would be a bit of an understatement. It didn’t seem to phase Anna- she always was much stronger than me, but every day when I woke up I would dread the walk to school and the people that lay in wait for me. I would lie awake for hours before I had to get up, worrying and fretting about the day ahead- would this be the day they went too far? I would go about my morning routine, putting on my face (cleanse, tone, moisturise, base, foundation, powder, blusher, eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, tinted lip balm... god I hated it), putting on my clothes (no-frills bras, pink knickers, black 100 denier tights, sensible vests, blouses, long skirts, cardigans... I hated them too), putting on my personality (happy, charming, polite, loving, perfect little lady... I hated what I was.) And I would be so scared. I would pace back and forth across my shared attic bedroom while Dury was still asleep, and try to understand why the girls at school did these things to me. I knew that it was because I was different- I was a good girl, a good girl who did as she was told. Dury said that they were just jealous, of how pretty and smart and funny I was, but I knew that he was just flattering me. He would stick up for me when he could in school, but because the only people who would bully me were girls, he couldn’t do much. He had his own friends, and I couldn’t have asked him to look after me the whole time (although I’m sure he would have if I asked him to).

One time particularly sticks out for me. I was walking home on my own, because Anna was ill. I was listening to the birds in the trees, and thinking about just how beautiful the world could be, when I heard a cat-call coming from behind me. I turned around, expecting it to be polish builders or something, when I saw a boy and three girls from my school. They were the kind of people who bunked lessons to smoke, who got Ds in all their classes but didn’t care, the kind of people who were exactly the opposite to me. They were shouting something from about 100 meters away from me, so I couldn’t really hear what they were saying- something about my skirt, I thought. I wanted to run away and hide, but as Dury always said; “That would be letting them win.”

I turned my head and noticed that they were fast approaching me; half running, and shouting something that I knew was probably obscene and offensive. I was used to it, so I didn’t think too much of it. It was only when the boy appeared at my side and grabbed a chunk of my long, thick hair that I started to be worried...
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sorry I took so long to update! I will do it much more frequently now :)