Somebody That I Used to Know

On Thursday night, I sat in my pajamas as I finished wrapping the many gifts I got for Ronnie. I would be picking him up Sunday afternoon and I had not been able to take my mind off of the first time I went to visit him all those years ago.

I walked in through the heavy prison doors with my heart racing. I could not shake the feeling that he would not want to see me. It was only his first week here, but I hoped that would have been long enough for him to realize that I was doing this for his own good. I approached the desk cautiously.

“Hi, I’m Victor. How can I help you?” the man behind the counter asked.

“Um, I really don’t know how to do this, but I wanted to know if I could visit Ronnie Radke.”

“Radke, he’s famous or something. There have been a lot of girls around these parts trying to visit him over the past few days.”

“Please, he’s my best friend. I’m the reason he’s even here.” I pleaded.

“Best friend, what did you say your name was?”

“Anastasia, Anastasia Chek.” I said sheepishly.

The man smiled down at me and handed me a sheet of paper with a clipboard.

“He’s been asking for you. Just fill this out where you can so there are no more misunderstandings.”

I did as he asked and handed the paper back to him. I walked through the heavy doors and paced behind one of the chairs, waiting for a change. I plopped down in one of the seats as the minutes seemed to drag on like they were hours, and soon the door across the way open. A guard walked in with his hand tightly gripped to Ronnie’s arm. I shot out of my chair and placed both of my hands firmly against the glass. The guard took off Ronnie’s handcuffs and I watched as Ronnie ran across the room and over to the glass where I was. He placed his hands were mine were for a few seconds before we both frantically picked up the phones.

“Ana, before you even speak, I’m so sorry. I’ve never been more regretful of words coming out of my mouth then I am right now. Please forgive me.” Ronnie’s raspy voice said.

I felt my body relax a bit at the sound of his voice and I even felt a smile tug at the corners of my lips.

“Of course I forgive you; I know you could never have meant what you said. I’m just sorry that it’s my fault you’re stuck here now.” I said as I sat back down in the chair.

Ronnie sat down as well before we both placed our hands on the glass at the same time.

“Never blame yourself. I should have been in here a long time ago, every single time I would get drunk or high I would take it out on you. You’re the only one in my life that ever cared about me, and I put you through hell. You didn’t deserve that and I don’t deserve someone like you. I destroy everything I touch, especially the things I love too much. I can’t lose you to something stupid again.”

“Ronnie, you could never lose me. You should know that by now. We’re already a bit of a package deal. I’ll never let you go, I’ll just be incomplete.”

Ronnie opened his mouth to speak again and was cut off by the burly looking guard.

“Radke, you’ve got two minutes left. Hurry it up!” the guard screamed.

Ronnie and I sighed simultaneously. We both stood up and placed our hands on the glass, longing for the other’s touch.

“Will you come back?” he asked, with tears threatening to fall from his eyes and a slight beg in his tone.

“Of course, I’ll be here every week to see you. I’ll never miss a day, no matter what. I promise.” I said sincerely.

I saw Ronnie smile through his slight tears when I made the promise to him; he knew I could never break a promise.

“I love you, Annie.” he whispered into the phone.

“I love you too, Ronnie.”

A few seconds later, Ronnie walked away from me and I walked out of the room. I got in my car and began the drive to the now too quiet home I lived in, knowing I would only be counting down the days until Ronnie would be able to come back home to me.

I wiped my eyes to get rid of the tears that had managed to escape. When I looked up at the clock, it was 3:45 and I stood up from my spot on my bed where I had spent the majority of the day. I walked to my closet to get dressed before walking out of my front door.

The bright Nevada sun was unseasonably warm for mid-December as I drove down the black paved streets towards the tattoo shop. I chose one a bit farther from home, but it was owned by an old friend of Ronnie that did most of his tattoos so I knew he would do a good job. I parked right outside and walked through the door. I was greeted by the familiar blue eyes of an old friend.

“Ana, what are you doing here?” he asked as he pulled me into a hug.

“Hey Alex, I want a new tattoo. But it needs to be perfect.” I stressed as we walked over to one of the rooms and I sat down on the large black chair.

“Gee, no pressure though, right?” he joked.

I laughed a bit as did he before we both grew a bit more serious.

“Alright, beautiful, what can I do for you today?”

“I want to get something for Ronnie.” I began.

“Ronnie, how’s the guy doing? Is he getting out anytime soon?”

“He’s actually getting out on Sunday, good behavior.” I explained.

He nodded his head slowly and smiled a bit at me.

“I never thought Ronnie and good behavior would ever go together in the same sentence. Well, anyway, do you have any ideas?”

“I didn’t really think of anything, but I trust you. So, what do you have in mind?”

“For you, I’ve got just the thing. When we were all younger, he used to call you Angel, right?”

I nodded my head, remembering that Angel was the first nickname he had for me when we were teenagers.

“What about Angel wings?” he asked.

I pondered the thought, it seemed like a good idea and I could most definitely afford it.

“That sounds great.” I said with a wide smile on my face.

I took of my shirt, unclipped my bra and lay on my stomach for the next three hours while the needles and black ink wove into my skin painfully. There was a reason why I never got any other tattoos other than my first. When we finished, the wings looked gorgeous.

“Oh my god, I love them so much! Thank you!” I said to him once I fixed my bra.

My shirt was still in my hands as I carefully gave him a hug.

“I’m glad you like it. Well, you know how to take care of them. Here’s my number Ana,” he began as he handed me a piece of folded up paper, “don’t be a stranger anymore, I was beginning to think you moved out of Nevada.”

I laughed as the two of us walked back out to the main room, my shirt still not on.

“Yeah, don’t worry I’ll definitely get back in contact with you more often now. By the way, how much do I owe you for the tattoo?”

“Don’t worry about it, Annie. I don’t charge family, I feel bad, just send business my way and we’ll be even.”

“Oh, come on, I can’t take advantage of you like that. If I went anywhere else they would have charged me a small fortune! At least let me give you something.” I said, as he carefully helped me put my shirt back on.

“Anastasia Chek, I have known you since high school, I could never take money from you. Plus, what are a few hundred bucks between friends? Think of it as a gift from me to you.”

“You should know by now that I don’t ever accept extravagant gifts. Especially since I haven’t seen you in so long, that’s asking too much of you.”

“Well, in that case, think of it as a gift from me to Ronnie. His birthday is in a few days anyway, and what better gift then the woman he loves being happy?” he suggested.

“Alex, you know better than anyone that Ronnie and I don’t have a relationship like that. In high school I was always with Max, and when Max and I broke up Ronnie was already in prison anyway. It would be like dating my twin brother.”

“Oh, I see how it is. Someone is a little too defensive about the topic. Everyone knows you and Ronnie are going to have eighty-seven kids anyway, why does it matter at this point? If you didn’t really love him you wouldn’t have stuck around all this time waiting for him to get his ass back in order.”

“I’m just a good friend, now can you please just let me pay you?”

Alex shook his head.

“Nope, I won’t accept your money.”

“Alex, don’t-”

Alex stood behind me and lightly pushed me out of the door.

“Get the fuck out and stay out unless you want another tattoo or you miss me. Oh, and Ana…”

“What, Alex?” I asked with nothing but plain frustration clear in my voice.

“Every time I mention Ronnie being in love with you or even just his name, you blush.” And with that, Alex closed the door and I watched him through the large glass windows of his shop as he cleaned up a bit.

“I can’t be in love with Ronnie…”