When You're Gone

"No, you can't go! Please don't go!" she pleads him while grabbing onto his shirt and subconsciously crying. The letter crumbled in her small fragile hand.

"I have to baby, I'm sorry." he whispered as she shook her head.

"You'll be gone for a year!" she exclaimed. He only pulled her into a tight hug.

"I'll be home before you know it, I promise. We both knew I'd have to go sooner or later, they need me."

"I don't want you to get hurt. There's so much out there, I can't even-"

"Shh." he cut her off and kissed her. "Don't worry about that, don't even think about it okay? I will be fine. I'll serve my time and I'll come home."

"Do you promise?" she whispered. He smiled as he lifted her head and looked into her eyes.

"I promise." he replied and kissed her forehead then her lips that quivered but she simply nodded, knowing there was nothing she could do.
~

"Okay I'm going." he whispered with his bags in his hand, his camouflage outfit on with the works. She nodded and looked down, swallowing the large lump in her throat.

"Be careful." she whispered as he smiled softly and pulled her into a bone crushing hug.

"I love you so much, you know that." he replied while kissing her head.

"I love you so much too."

"I need you to be my strong girl okay? he replied as she nodded.

"I will."

"Terminal 9 now boarding." the airport voice spoke as both of them had sighed.

"That's me." he told her softly before lifting his bags up once more.

"I expect you to write me." he teased as she scoffed through her tears.

"Duh. Expect dozens of them." she replied.

"Looking forward to it." he smiled before his face has turned into a frown.

"I'm going to miss you." he whispered as she jumped into his arms once more and cried while he squeezed her.

"Please be okay, please come back to me." she begged him as he nodded.

"I promise baby." he replied as she lifted her face to plant him one last deep kiss before they pulled away.

"I'll call you when I get a chance. Be good sweetheart. I love you." he added before he began walking to the boarding entrance.

"I love you more." she smiled as he grinned back at her.

"I love you most." he replied and waved at her as she watched him show his ticket and walk out the door to the plane before boarding it with other soldiers. She sat down on the bench and waited for the plane to start up. It seemed like a flash before it was on the runaway and slowly creeping up into the air and becoming only a dot in the sky. Gia dragged her feet through the airport back to her car where she slid in the front seat, head resting against the steering wheel while she cried.
~

I miss you so much already babe, the bed is lonely without you here and it hasn't been long. I can only hope the year goes by fast before you're back home in the living room yelling at the TV. I never realized just how much I miss the smell of bacon in the morning when you're cooking. Now there's no smell, no noise, no you. Besides that, I'm proud of you sweetheart. I always think back to the day we met, do you remember? You said you wanted to help people, that if it meant putting your life at risk you'd still do it. Now here you are away from home doing what you said you'd do. That's an incredible thing babe. I just hope you fulfill your dream and still come back home. How is the time difference?

Love you always,
Gia xo

Hey beautiful,

I miss you so much too. It's hot as hell here, there's bugs here that are the size of a damn shoe. The food isn't exactly five star, but I'll live. You know I love my bacon. The sound of bombs going off has a strong effect on the guys, including me. You don't know where it's coming from or where it landed. I'm in the construction area, fixing a bridge that was blew up by the Taliban. Now and then we'll go into the villages and talk to some of the children. It's a sad thing to see when they know how to shoot a gun at only seven years old.

Still, we're doing all we can to help them out. There's a little girl here who for some reason captivated me. She's about 6 years old and has been through hell compared to the life I had when I was 6. Her parents were murdered in front of her by the Taliban and lives with her aunt who is poor. Despite the circumstance, she's a very happy child, something I can't explain to you why that struck me. Maybe because she reminds me a lot like you. You're too good to me babe. Do I remember that day? I remember that day very well.

March 25th, 2008. We met at the naval base. You smelled like pineapple. You wore a black and white polka dot shirt with black skinny jeans you love so much. Hair curled to perfection with a red rose on the right side. I bet you're smiling aren't you? Why do I remember that? Because it's the best day that ever happened to me, the day I met you. You've always been there for me. You're the only who understands why I'm here. You understand everything that's why I love you so.

I'm hoping to catch a break soon, so expect a call either Saturday or Sunday, depending on what time it is there. As for your question, the time difference absolutely sucks. Can't wait to hear your beautiful voice.

Always,
C. Rivera

Oh, and the little girl's name? It's Gia.

~

Gia sighed as she rubbed her unsettled stomach and looked at the picture for a minute before grabbing the pen and opening her blue notebook.

My love,

The more days that go by, the more I begin to wonder how much longer I can stand being here without you. I almost feel like an addict, begging for her fix. I need your touch, your voice, your smile, your hugs. I need everything from you. It feels like I'm moving to New York by myself for the first time all over again. I've been forced to hug a pillow and pretend it's you, sad isn't it? I cannot express the incomplete feeling I carry when you're gone. It lingers around me like a bad odor, is there a remedy?

I have to say it figures I master in the art of bad timing. There's something I have to tell you that's pretty big. I'm not quite sure how it happened, well it's not very hard to guess. I just wish I could tell you this in person, but it's not like I have many options do I? Perhaps looking at the picture might ease this on the both of us.

Caden felt his body froze as he picked up the picture inside the white envelope, his eyes scanning the image with a lump forming in his throat. He felt tears brim the edge of his eyes and he blinked them away before a grin had spread across his face. His finger rubbed the small circle. He looked back at the letter and smiled when he read those last words.

I'm pregnant.

Sgt. Reid had walked down the many tents, making sure everything was in order. He noticed Rivera sitting on his cot with an expression he had not seen before on the young man. The sergeant slowly walked his way over to the young man and smiled when he noticed the small square image in his hand. He let out a light chuckle that made Rivera jump.

"I remember when I first found out too." he told the young man who's face was slightly flushed.

"My little girl Kaila. 18 years strong and still feels like yesterday she was born. Congratulations soldier."

"Thanks sir." Rivera smiled and shook the older man's hand.

“I’m sure you’d like to be home.” he sighed as Caden nodded.

“Yeah. It’s pretty unexpected to the say the least.”

“I bet. You’ll be home soon enough. Take it easy soldier.” the man said patting his back and continuing on his way as Caden sighed to himself, sitting back down on the bed. He lifted the picture once more and smiled it before kissing it.
~

As the months went on, the letters continued to be exchanged. Gia would send Caden pictures of her growing belly and sonograms he was not there to witness in person. This realization had made the soldier's heart very heavy, for he wished he was there to be with his love and unborn child.

Dear Gia,

I'd give anything to be home with you and our unborn child. You look absolutely beautiful baby. I just want to be home to touch and hold your belly, or rub your feet if they're swollen. Hear my baby's heart beat at your appointment. The guilt has sunk in that I may miss my child's first breath into this world. That is something I'm not quite sure I could ever forgive myself for. I think I'm ready to know now. What are we having?

Love always,
C. Rivera.

My love,

I'd give just everything and anything to have you home as well and to be able to feel our child growing inside of my tummy. It's a pleasant yet strange sensation that I cannot describe. I can feel the baby switch positions at times, mostly resting on my right side. That seems to be the favorite spot to be. My love, it does not matter. As long as you are here for the remainder of our baby's life, that will be enough, I promise you. I just got home from my ultrasound to find your letter. The doctor says we should expect a little princess by July 14th. We're having a girl.

Love you,
Gia.

We're having a girl? That's incredible. A little girl that'll belong to us soon enough, wow. If you could see me now, you'd know how my expression is when I am just at a loss for words. I can't believe it. I wish the months would go by faster so I could be on my way home to you and hold our baby girl in person. Have you been buying supplies? Are you going to let your mother finally plan the baby shower like she's begging to since forever? (: As much as I'm happy, I feel awful for missing it. I'm so very sorry sweetheart, but I love you and my baby girl so much. I promise I will be there for the rest of her life. Can't wait to see you both. What are we going to name her?

Love,
C. Rivera

My love,

Yes, my mother has taken it upon herself to plan the baby shower. Aria and Celeste are equally happy as her, it's almost annoying. As much as I love being pregnant, I'd like to fast forward a little bit. I'm tired, achy, and well...I'm gassy. A lot. TMI I know, but hey, it's your child who's responsible in the first place. I have a feeling she's going to take after you already. This morning I felt her kick! It was a soft flutter, but a kick nonetheless. After that first kick, she proceeded to kick me every hour on the hour. She's well alive in there. Doctor says she's healthy, so I'm happy about that. As for names, I'm absolutely stuck. I was thinking Elliana, Kiera Kimberlie, Saige, or Aaliyah. Please don't laugh, it's hard (:

Love you so much,
Gia xo

I'm happy as long as you and my baby girl are healthy. I'm sorry you're suffering, I'd give you so many massages you'd go crazy if I was there. Maybe when I get back we can make it up to each other? :) She kicked huh? I wish I was there to feel her moving, it feels like too much is passing by. As for the names, I have to admit that's gotten to me as well. I haven't much of a chance to come up with some, but I think I happen to like Elliana Aaliyah-Rivera :) Just a thought.

Love you more,
C. Rivera.
~~

"Rivera!" Caden heard as he snapped his head up from the computer in front of him as Rose appeared right next him.

"Yes sir." he replied.

"Here. It's priority mail, must be important." he told the solider before handing him a letter as Caden's eyes widened at the sight of the pink material, knowing fully well who the letter belonged to. He quickly grabbed it and opened it, afraid he might read something happened to Gia or the baby. He unfolded the letter and was surprised to find many pictures falling into his lap. He picked one up and gasped at the image. The picture of a hospital room, Gia laying in bed with a baby in her arms, his baby. He flicked through the pictures of the baby and could not control the tears that slipped down his cheeks. The baby was beautiful to say the least. Fair pink skin, long pin straight black hair that seem to slick up. Slightly chubby cheeks that made him smile. She had his nose and his emerald eyes, she was perfect. He picked up the letter and swallowed the lump in his throat.

Our princess decided to debut a few days early. This is her Caden, our baby girl. Elliana Aaliyah Rivera. 6 pounds 2 ounces. 5:45 pm. July 8, 2011.]

Caden brought the picture of his baby to his lips and shamelessly cried, his heart aching to only be there and hold her in person...
~~

Gia anxiously waited outside the terminal and bounced on her feet. She appeared to be on a caffeine rush, but she had good reasons. She gasped when people began entering the building and walking in different directions, her heart stopping when one person appeared in front of her.

"Caden!" she shouted as he grinned at her and opened his arms before she ran into them as he swung her around a couple times before setting them down. She smiled and instantly began to cry as she kissed him over and over.

"I missed you so much, don't ever leave me again." she told him as he smiled and nodded.

"I promise. I missed you like hell too." he replied while they embraced once more, her hands tightly wrapping around his jacket to make sure she was really touching him. They pulled away briefly and Caden looked down at the pink and brown stroller next to Gia as he lifted his head up.

"That's her?" he said as she smiled and nodded. He carefully retracted the shield of the stroller and bit his lip at what he found inside. His hands gently reached in and scooped the sleeping infant into his arms as he teared up. She was even more beautiful than the pictures. He brought her face to his and kissed her cheeks while rocking her from side to side. Her tiny face twitching in her sleep while Lila watched the two in awe.

"Elliana." he stated to himself. "she's so beautiful." he whispered and turned to his love, she simply nodded and wrapped her arm around his waist.

"I know. She's just like you, I knew it all along." she replied as he smiled and kissed his baby once more and did the same to his love.

"Let's go home?" he asked her as she nodded eagerly.

"I thought you'd never ask."

The family had driven back home where Caden could not believe he was finally back where he belonged, with his love and his daughter. They arrived at the house where Caden sighed in relief at the thought of being able to eat normal food, take a normal shower, and lay in a normal bed again. He pulled his bags out anxiously before cradling the baby once more, too excited to let go of her. He had been waiting three months to hold her, there was no stopping him now.

He was surprised to find his whole family inside of their house, their voices shouting out with happiness to see him. He smiled and hugged each and every one of them, relieved to be back. He celebrated with his family, never leaving the side of his love and baby girl who looked around curiously in her mother's arms.

When the night was over and most of the food was eaten, the little family laid on the couch with the sleeping infant knocked out in Gia's lap.

"It feels so good to be home." he sighed and ran his hand through her long soft raven black hair.

"I'm so glad you are. I don't think I could've made it another month." she replied as he kissed her softly.

"I'm here now, I'm here." he assured her and held her while she closed her eyes for a brief moment.

"Come on. All I want to do is sleep in my own bed with my two loves." he smiled as she laughed and stood up with the baby before they walked upstairs and into their room. She set the baby on the bed and both of them had changed into their pajamas. She smiled and watched Caden become more and more grateful to be back in his PJs. He gave her a small smirk and leaned over to peck her on the lips, resulting in slow long lasting kisses.

"I love you." he whispered.

"I love you too." she whispered back and smiled before pulling him back into the bed and retracting the plush sheets. Caden breathed a deep sigh of relief to be back in a soft mattress, not a simple cot. To be in an actual room, not a damn tent. Gia picked up the baby and set her in the middle where she had her arms resting above her head, something Caden found adorable. He brushed her short hair and watched her sleep with mesmerized eyes. Gia grinned and reached out to the nightstand and switched the lamp off. Caden's arm pulling her in close until their foreheads touched each others, a peaceful Elliana in between the two.

"Will you still be here in the morning? Let me know this isn't a dream?" she whispered to him as he reached out and touched her cheek.

"I promise I'll still be here. I'm not going anywhere." he whispered back as she smiled and kissed him softly before both of them shut their eyes and fell asleep faster than they thought, happy to be together again...