Nine Kinds of Crazy

"Sammy give me your cookie," Dean said for the third time. Sam continued to ignore him. "It's not like I did anything wrong Sam!" he whined.
"Dean, if you'd just cooperate with them-"
"I do cooperate!" he snapped. Sam rolled his eyes.
"Tomorrow you get your dessert back," Sam reminded him and Dean went back to sulking. "Where's your friend?"
"He's not my friend," Dean told Sam. "And he went for a checkup because he throws up if he eats. They will probably move him back into that place."
"Would that make you sad?" Sam asked and Dean laughed.
"Don't try to be a doctor Sammy," he laughed and Sam shrugged.
"But it would Dean. Wouldn't it? It'd make you a little sad," Dr. Cartwright said and Dean shrugged.
"Don't let them make me go to therapy Sammy," Dean mumbled resting his head on the table.
"Dean I can't do anything," Sam said.
"Annie are you okay? So Annie are you okay? Are you okay Annie?" Dean sang to himself staring at Anna from across the cafeteria.
"Don't start this again Dean," Sam sighed. Four other times Dean had started singing during therapy and didn't stop even when he was shut in his room. It mostly caused distress to the other patients, but Sam knew it got to her a little or Dean wouldn't continue. She probably gave the slightest flinch, but that was all Dean needed. Sam knew how Dean worked even if no one here could figure it out.
"I'm just singing," he murmured humming softly. Sam rolled his eyes and finished eating.
"I talked about them and the accident today in therapy," Sam said quietly after a moment and Dean tensed.
"We don't talk about that Sam!" he hissed.
"I needed to though Dean. You can't keep blaming yourself or whatever it is for any of it. You need to open up. That's the only way you'll get out."
"I'm not talking about it Sam and you shouldn't either. It's none of their business."
"It is though Dean. Everything is their business here," Sam said exasperatedly. Dean stood abruptly.
"Don't talk about it Sam!" Dean shouted and then walked out and towards his room. He could hear Andy following. "I want to take a shower," he said to her.
"Then come on," she said and he went into the bathroom. He took the tiny towel. He wasn't in the mood to cause a scene because he felt he had no use for a towel. The showers were communal and should have been empty, but Castiel stood under the last one staring at the wall.
"Hey," Dean said absently as he turned on the shower. Castiel didn't move or say anything. Dean found himself staring as the water ran over Castiel's skin. "I said hey Cas," Dean told him and still nothing. So he went over and tapped his shoulder. Castiel jumped a foot in the air and pressed himself against the wall breathing hard, blue eyes snapping around to Dean. In a second, the terror and shock faded and his eyes filled with relief. "Are you okay?" Dean asked. He shook his head and pointed to the shower head. "What?" Dean asked looking confused.
"Fire," he whispered and Dean stuck his hand under the water.
"It's just too hot," he said adjusting the temperature "Come on," he said grabbing Castiel's arm and pulling him back under the water. "Better?" he asked and Castiel barely shrugged and leaned against Dean. His fingers locked around Dean's arm. "Cas you're gonna get me in trouble," Dean said quietly.
"Just for a moment," Castiel whispered. Dean made no move to leave him, but behavior like this with Sam had gotten him more individual therapy. Which he hated. But maybe this would be different. Maybe.
When Castiel's eyes starting slipping closed Dean made the decision for him that it was time to get out. He shut off the water and gently pulled Cas towards the exit where he dried him off and ran the towel through his hair a few times before wrapping it around his waist and pushing him towards the door. "Out," he said and returned to his own shower.

Dean returned to his room and crawled under the blankets. Sam was off with Dr. Carol. Castiel wasn't in their room, but that made it better. He wanted to be alone.

Sam sat in the visitor waiting room. After a brief meeting with Dr. Carol he’d been ushered down here by a nurse. He had a feeling who was here, but wasn’t sure what he was supposed to tell him.
“Hi Sammy,” the voice cut through the air as Gabriel appeared in front of him. He rolled his eyes.
“Sam,” he muttered and Gabriel took a seat next to him.
“Any semblance of a change?” he asked unwrapping a sucker.
“Castiel showed up. Dean doesn’t remember him and I’m starting to think it’s not just an act to protect him. He honestly seems completely messed up and out of it.”
“He faked it before and you all believed it. Baby Castiel is a magnificent actor.”
“No one is after him though. He could be out of here.”
“No one we know of and so could you,” Gabriel said glancing sideways at Sam who stared at the wall thinking; trying to figure it out.
“I don’t get how coming back could damage him so bad,” Sam said to himself and Gabriel shrugged.
“Seemed fine when we made the jump and then wakey-wakey Dean’s gone crazy.”
“I know!” Sam snapped and a nurse looked up at him. “I know. I was there,” he said quietly.
“Hey man I was there too. Dean snaps and Castiel goes quiet and here we are eleven months later. Has being here done anything for him? I mean they locked Cas in a room, but Dean?”
“He thinks it’s before the Apocalypse. He thinks Lucifer is out and what made him go crazy is when we lost Ellen and Jo …”
“And is convincing him it’s his imagination doing any good?”
“No but neither is the truth. He is broken and he’s scared. You’ve seen him,” Sam protested.
“Yeah, yeah and got to play the lovely Bobby Singer.”
“I thought that was a past time of yours; impersonating others.”
“Not the point Sammy,” he said.
“Sam,” Sam grumbled.
“The point is that we aren’t, you aren’t helping him remember.”
“We tried that.”
“So we are done and you’re going to care for you messed up brother the rest of your life? He’ll live and die here.”
“And I’ll be next to him.” Gabriel sighed.
“The Winchester’s, I swear it’s a synonym for stupid. Figure out if Castiel has even half a brain left somewhere in him, try to jog the jock’s memory, and get yourself out of this place.”
“I won’t leave him,” Sam murmured but Gabriel was already gone.

When Sam returned to the floor he could hear Dean yelling and throwing a tempertantrum. “NO I SAID NO!” Dean cried out as Andy was trying to talk to him about something. He was sitting on the floor behind the couch. Sam stepped forward and Dean stopped when he saw him. Sam crouched down. Dean bit his lip and looked down and held his hands out to Sam.
“What is it Dean?” he said softly and Dean clenched his fists. Sam took his hands rubbing his knuckles to get him to relax. “Stop that,” Sam murmured and Dean slowly relaxed. “What is it?” he repeated. Dean mumbled staring at the ground. Sam moved closer to hear what his brother was whispering.
“Don’t wanna have a checkup,” Dean muttered. Sam sighed. He’d been afraid it was something actually seriously. Dean didn’t like checkups because they were usually behind the bad doors and he was stripped of all his dignity as they poked and prodded him until they found something wrong.
“Dean …” Sam started. He had no context for why they wanted to give him a checkup early. Perhaps it was to alter his medication again. They’d done that quite often when they’d arrived five months ago, after the second night of Dean attempting suicide. Sam looked up at Andy who was making a note on Dean’s chart.
“It’s so we don’t have a repeat of what happened three weeks ago,” she said referring to when Dean had messed up his stomach and spent three days cuffed to a bed while they tried to fix his stomach and intestines. Dean had been drugged and miserable and wouldn’t even tell Sam what they’d done. When he got back he just clung to Sam like a small child. “We just want to check him over to avoid it,” she added and Sam turned back to Dean.
“They won’t do anything to hurt you,” Sam whispered and rubbed his thumbs over the backs of Dean’s hands. Dean shook his head. “How about you sleep and talk about it with Andy in the morning?” he asked and Dean nodded and stood up and slowly wandered towards his room keeping Sam close. “Go on,” Sam softly encouraged and Dean looked up at him. Sam nodded and Dean finally went into his room and shut the door. Sam sighed. Crisis averted.

Castiel watched Dean and Dean stared back as he got into bed. “Go to sleep Cas,” he finally said. Castiel just stared and then stared at the wall.
“Do you ever feel like you know more than your brain is letting you access?” he asked which startled Dean.
“Huh? What? No. Go to sleep Cas,” Dean ordered and buried himself under the blankets and peeked out to make sure Cas listened. Sure enough he lay back and from the change in his breathing Dean knew he was asleep. But he couldn’t fall asleep.
He stared at the ceiling trying to get comfortable. His stomach was starting to hurt, but he didn’t want to admit that to Andy because they’d make him go to the hospital side and fix it and he didn’t like that. He covered his eyes and wished he could shut off his brain so that he could block out what Cas had said. It was an issue that constantly plagued him and one that the doctors desperately tried to beat back and deny. He was just crazy they said. Only crazy.
And yet it didn’t seem quite right.