For the Sake of Saving Us

"I'm a horrible person."

Jack laughs from the other end of the phone, "Is my 'oh-so-sensible' cousin ringing me, hung-over, with regrets?"

"I kissed Travis last night. A lot."

"So? You do realize although I enjoy a gossip and a pedicure every now and again, it doesn't mean I've grown a vagina and I'm interested in your sex life?"

"Shut up! I kissed Travis!"

"I got that. What's the big deal?"

"I'd just yelled at Alex for being an ass and presuming I was going to hook up with him!"

Jack laughs again, howling down the phone as Poppy hunches over in her seat even further, aware of the people looking at her due to the loud noises coming from the device.

"You're brilliant, you know that? I'm gonna go find Alex."

"Don't! I tore him a new one the other day for being a dick, don't make me look a bitch."

"You're allowed to be with other people, you know? Alex is."

"He's what?"

"Hooking up with other people. He goes out and brings girls back nearly every night."

"That total piece of shit!" She's mad and upset all at once, "He made out that I'd broken his fucking heart by coming here. He fucking said I killed our baby just so I could be with Travis and now he's shacking up with every whore in LA-."

"He said what?" All amusement is suddenly gone from his voice and Poppy immediately realizes what she's just let slip, that the sudden rage had let her reveal something she wanted to deny ever happening.

"He was drunk, and I-I guess I encouraged it. He didn't mean it, Jack."

"When are you going to stop defending these low lives? He fucking said you put yourself through that on purpose?"

"He was upset."

"I'm fucking upset. In fact, I'm fuming. I'm gonna kill him when he gets back."

"Jack- don't! Like I said, he was drunk and clearly upset about something and we were arguing, he won't have meant it."

"That's not the point."

The line goes dead and she immediately panics, frantically trying to find Zack in her list of stupidly named contacts.

"Yo, PZ."

"Are you with Jack?" She rushes, not only trying to sort this situation but organise her things to get on her flight that has just called boarding.

"I'm at the studio?"

"With Alex?"

"Yeah, look, what's the-."

"You need to calm Jack down before you let Alex go back to the house. I'm pretty sure he'll try and beat the crap out of him otherwise."

"Why? What's happened?" Zack's finally taking the situation seriously

"It's long story. Just make sure Jack isn't in the possession of sharp objects when you get back? And call me, when everything's OK?"

"Yeah, sure, yeah. Look, where are you, Poppy?"

"About to get on a flight back to NYC. I'll explain later but for now, just keep an eye on them?"

-----

Poppy feels run down the moment she steps off the plane from Florida, she seriously considering jumping on a flight elsewhere and leaving everything else behind. Canada, perhaps.

Once she's fought the crowds for a cab, she finally climbs the stairs to the apartment she still shares with Marky, smile immediately appearing on face as she spots the home-made 'Welcome Back' banner hung above the door.
Marky isn't home, but he's left a note with the same greeting, telling her to pop down to the office's if she feels up to it. She was planning on it anyway, what with it barely being past midday, but first, she had to get an update from Zack.

"Well, we've avoided disaster for now. Alex is staying elsewhere for the night." He answers without a greeting.

"And Jack?"

"He's still angry, but then so are the rest of us. He's shouldn't have said that shit, P."

"Oh, I know. I also know, he didn't mean it. You saw him when we were in Baltimore, he was as broken up as I was."

"Doesn't make it OK."

"It's a difficult situation. I just want everyone to let it lie now. " Poppy sighs, "I'm gonna let off any contact with Alex, I think. "

"I hate to say it - but maybe it is for the best. At least for now."

"You think things will ever go back to normal?"

"When have things ever been normal with you and Alex?" Zack laughs, "You mean High School normal or post-Rick?"

"I see what you mean." Poppy chuckles, though there's never been a more accurate statement, "I suppose I'll see you, when I see you?"

"We'll be back in Balti soon."

"And I'll be up in New York. I'll be here when you tour though, I'll come see you guys."

"I'll make sure your name is on the guest list."

"See you, Zack."

"Bye, PZ."

Poppy's head clunks down into the table in front of her, her phone clattering next to it and she lets herself cry.

She was still a mess, and what had happened with Travis had just complicated things even more. Her stupid heart still pined for Alex and maybe, deep down, she'd tried, in her drunken stupor, to turn Travis into his replacement, even if just for the night.

There hadn't just been that one kiss while they sat outside the club, oh no, they'd continued when they went back into the club for another hour, and in the cab on the way back to the house and even so far as Travis kissing her goodnight.
That morning had been a little awkward, what with Travis having to drive her to the airport, and when he'd parked and followed her in, instead of pulling up at the drop-off point, she knew he had something to say about despite his silence in the car.


"Pop, I just wanna say, uh, last night? I, well we, probably shouldn't have done, that?

"So you're not going to be offended if I ask that we totally forget about it?"

"Absolutely not. It was kind of dumb on me to act on my feelings right now anyway, never mind when you 'under the influence'."

"I'm going to ignore the fact you just mentioned feelings and go check in." Poppy smiles, "I'll see you at Warped?"

"Of course." Travis engulfs her in an almost suffocating hug, "Facetime later?"

It's just that extra kick in the teeth when Poppy's phone starts ringing obnoxiously beside her, Alex's face glaringly obvious when she glances over with blurry eyes. She ignores the call, determined that she won't break barely five minutes after promising herself that she'd take a step back.
The phone pings a few moments after falling silent, that tell-tale sign of a voicemail.

"What the fuck did you have to tell Jack for?!"