For the Sake of Saving Us

Poppy hesitates as she approaches the venue, hands shoved deep into pockets of the hoody she'd shrugged on at the station, Boston seeming that tiny bit cooler than New York had been, or maybe it was the cold sweat that had suddenly come over her when she'd stepped off the train.
There's already a line of fans, not a surprise despite the early time of 10am, and few squeak her name as she passes quickly, waving with a smile even thought it's hidden beneath her hood - she feels out of place, like she should be queuing up like they are, and maybe not even then. Skirting around the buses and muttering her name to the security who opens the stage door feels alien, despite the amount of times she's done it, and even when Matt flies around the corner to meet her having been made aware of her arrival over the talkie.

"Zicarelli! Long time, no see!"

"Gotta work like the rest of the word, Fly."

"You're here to see Alex right?"

"Yeah. Not that I don't wanna see everyone else, but they might have to wait for a little while."

"Nah, it's good. Ri and Jack are doing an interview anyway, so Alex probably feels at a loose end. This a private kind of talk?"

"If six other guys weren't in the room, it'd probably be a good thing."

"I'll clear everyone out." He smiles, squeezing her shoulder as he takes a few larger steps to get a little in front of her, people immediately scooting out of his way as she walks.

------

Poppy can't help the constant chewing on her bottom lip as Matt forces people out of the dressing rooms, the young guys looking at her strangely as she stands just inside the door, waiting until Alex is the last one there.

"Right, I'm gonna go do manager stuff, uh, Pops, come see me before you leave?"

She nods silently, smiling as he shuts the door gently, plunging the room into a heavy silence as Alex watches her tiptoe the few steps to the empty couch across the room from him.

"So, um, you OK? I overheard Jack saying you weren't too well."

Alex's awkward start to the conversation makes her feel guilty - guilty over the fact she made such a huge deal about the incident on Jack's birthday and hadn't tried to rectify it at all.

"Yeah, that's kinda what I needed to talk to you about."

"Do you need money for treatment or something? I can do that."

"No, Lex. Nothing like that. I'm not asking anything of you, so keep that in mind."

"To be honest, I'm shitting myself over here - I feel like you're going to tell me you're dying or something."

With a small laugh and a shake of her head, Poppy immediately shoots down that thought, "I'm fine, really. You gonna stop panicking long enough for me to explain?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry."

"Right, there is literally no easier way of doing this, and although I feel like I might throw up again right now, I've got to get this out there. I'm pregnant, Alex. Without a shadow of a doubt, it's yours, before you even start to doubt that, and yes, I'm carrying this full term - in the end, it's gotta be my decision. I'm petrified as well, OK? But if don't want anything to do with this baby, fine, that's your decision."

She can't look at him a she speaks, focusing on the wringing of her hands, palms sweaty from nerves, leg twitching as she awaits a reaction, she finally glancing up after a painful minute of only heavy breathing being heard.
Alex is looking at her intently, like he's trying to focus on something, eyes a little wider than normal, probably having been stuck that way since she said the word 'pregnant', and while she understands the state of shock, she wishes he'd snap out of it and say something.
Anything at all.

She lets him have a few more moments before she stands, "Look, I'm gonna go see everyone else quickly. I'm not going to tell anyone else yet, not until you get your head around this. Call me, I guess."

Poppy didn't want to have to do this alone, who does? But with Alex leading the life he does, it was a hazard all along, not that this had passed either of their minds while they'd been together, and his clearly distressed reaction had proved to her; he wasn't going to come to terms with this as quickly as she had, if even at all.

"Whoa, no you don't." A hand curls around her wrist just as she steps through the door, stopping her mid-step, tugging lightly so she turns. Alex's face looks ashen, and maybe a little green, but he's got that determined look in eyes, "We've got to talk this one out, Poppy."

There's no need to protest as she goes back to sit on the same couch, Alex pacing instead, a hand up by his face, twirling the hair by his ear, "Alex, if you want a little time to think-."

"No, no. It's fine. Well, it's not, but it is, OK?" He rambles, "Right. Pregnant. I can do pregnant. Well, I can deal with you being pregnant, yeah. How long?"

"I'm eleven weeks, almost twelve."

"Right, yeah, definitely mine then."

"Not that it's any of your business, but it'd be a miracle if it was anyone else's."

"I'm trying to get my head around this, OK? Don't snap at me."

"Well, don't be a douchebag and pretend this might not have anything to do with you."

"I'm not, Jesus, would you quit?"

"I'm just saying, I didn't come here to ask anything of you - you just needed to know."

"I'm glad you didn't try and hide it from me, I'm just gonna need a little while to process this, but I'll be there, OK? Whenever you need me."

She smirks, "With this best of intentions, Lex, if you're halfway around the world, you can't get me ice-cream at 4am."

He laughs, cracking a smile Poppy didn't think she'd see today, "Jesus, I can't believe I'm gonna be a Dad."