The *** of Warped Tour

"This is the last day I have to be baby sat." I told Oliver as we sat in the front end of his bus. He looked up from his guitar and smiled at me, but continued to play. "Oli, what's up?" I waved a hand in front of his face.

"Nothing." He shook his head. "Just this stupid girl back home."

"What's her name?" I asked him

"SJ." He smiled at the sound of her name.

"Oh, that really pretty model that you have for your clothing line?" I asked. "What happened?" He played his guitar for a moment, then stopped, sighing.

"She broke it off." He said sadly.

"Oh gosh, Oliver. I'm so sorry." I said sympathetically. He set his guitar down next to me and walked away. I didn't follow him. I'm not the kind of person who insists on knowing what's wrong. If someone wants you to go after them, I think they'd let you know. Or that they wouldn't walk away in the first place. He was gone for probably ten minutes, and I had taken to playing his guitar. I wasn't exceptionally awesome, it was just a skill I had acquired in high school. I loved music then as much as I do now. I strummed The Day I Left The Womb, thinking about Ronnie's old band. I wonder how Max is doing. I wonder if he's still with Saskia. I wonder where the fuck Saskia is. And on a lesser note, if either of them remember me. Oliver came back and waved a hand in my face.

"Aye, Bell? You alright?" He asked. "You've been staring at the ground plaing the same four chords over and over again."

"Oh! Yeah. I am doing fine." I said. "Just thinking about some things."

"Ha." He laughed. "You and me both." He sat down next to me, and hesitated before he asked, "So who are you thinking about?"

"Ronnie." I frowned. "But more or less what I said to him last night."

"Mind me asking what that was?" Oliver asked delicately, like if he spoke any louder the both of us would shatter to little pieces of glass and hit the floor of the bus in a millisecond.

"Brace yourself." I breathed in deeply. Oliver laughed at me. "Before I came here, I knew Ronnie. I met him a very long time ago, when I was seventeen. I was in Vegas for my birthday to visit my dad, who took me to a bar with his girlfriend and her daughter then ditched me. Well, his girlfriend's daughter, Saskia, was dating Max Green at the time. You probably know that he was Escape The Fate's bass player until recently he quit and started a new band called The Natural Born Killers. Anyways, I got to meet the entire band. Come time to walk home, Ronnie catches me at the door and we hang out in the parking lot for like an hour. Then he kind of ran after me when I left, to make sure I got home safe, and we spent a while together at my house."

"So what, you spend one night together, and he blew you off when you guys exchanged numbers? And when you saw him again this year, you never forgot that?" Oliver frowned. "Well, I'm sorr-"

"No, I never even told him my name, let alone give him my phone number." I said.

"Oh, well continue, because now I'm confused." Oliver laughed.

"I wouldn't give him my phone number, because I liked him and I would never see him again. I wanted to forget about him, and for him to forget about me. But I guess that neither of us forgot, because last night, he asked me if I was that girl he met back in two thousand and five." I said.

"And you didn't want him to know it was you." Oliver concluded.

"No." I shook my head. "I didn't. But he did anyways, so now he knows. And then he asked me if I loved him-"

"Oh my gosh!" Oliver grinned "Did he say he loves you?"

"Yeah." I smiled. "But I'm such a bitch!"

"Why, oh no... Bell, what did you tell him?" Oliver's eyes widened.

"Verbatum for verbatum: I love you now, but I might not love you tomorrow." I winced. How could I even say that to him, and he tells me he is actually going to love me forever. That's really shitty of me. Oliver looked horrified.

"Why'd you say that?!" He laughed. "That's not what you tell someone."

"It was the truth." I growled at him. And we had a sort of a fight last night, because I was going to leave, and I told him I might leave today."

"You're not leaving." Oliver said.

"What do you mea-" I started, but he cut me off. Wow, seems that there's been a lot of us cutting each other off this morning. Usually we're a lot nicer to each other.

"Phone call." He smiled. "Hey, SJ!"

SJ? Didn't he just say... oh whatever. Never mind it. Everything Is fucked up the ass in this world. I don't understand much of how any relationship works. That is probably why I have never engaged in anything more than sleeping with someone once and never calling them back, or dating someone for a week, getting feelings, and then breaking up with them. I know, I make no sense. But it has never mattered before. None of this shit has ever really mattered until I met Ronnie AGAIN. Then, all of the cynical hateful crap I say to him actually matters. I feel terrible over saying it to him, and anybody else... I might have no problem.

"What are you doing!" I squeaked as Oliver came back into the room with a rope.

"I might have faked a phone call to go get ropes, so I could tie you down, so you could stay here today and not regret leaving. It's your last day of being baby sat, tomorrow you can go out and enjoy the tour instead of having to sit inside because you're head is hurt."

"My head is fine." I growled as he tied me up in ropes.

"It probably is by now, but Ronnie is really worried. He keeps freaking out that you'll hurt it again. Can't blame the guy for caring. You can't leave. I will not let you leave. He will kill me, you know." Oliver shrugged.

"You're a dick. I wish he would kill you." I screamed at him. He threw me over his shoulder.

"Yeah, I know." He laughed. "And the next thing I'm going to tell you... it might not make you too fond of me either." I was furious at Oliver, something I never am at him, and he is really pushing it.

"Tell me." I demanded.

"You have to go hang out on Asking Alexandria's bus while I play my show." He winced but then realized, "Oh wait, you can't hurt me, you're tied up." He laughed.

"Like Hell I am!" I shouted at him.

"Shh, some one might think i'm kidnapping you." He placed his hand over my mouth.

I bit his hand and he removed it from over my mouth, complaining that it hurt. "You practically are, Oliver, please don't make me go on their bus." I said desperately.

"I'm sorry." He said apologetically. "Nobody else wanted you."

"I'm not some object, I'm a person. Just let me go."

"I can't do that. Just calm down, it's not so bad. I thought Ben apologized to you at the water park." Oliver knocked on Asking Alexandria's tour bus. I was freaking out on the inside. I will kill Ben Bruce if left alone with him. I don't care if he wants to apologize. Him and Hunter Moore need to be stabbed to death. The bastards.

"Oliver, can't I go back to Ronnie's bus?" I asked.

"Falling In Reverse is doing a signing right now. No." He said strictly. When the door opened and a familiar pair of British accents opened the door, Oliver carried me on the bus, whacking my head on the door frame.

"Son of a bitch, you mother fucking cock sucking bastard!" I let out a stream of curse words at Oliver for hurting me. Ben and Danny laughed at each thing I said as Oli set me down on the couch.

"I am so sorry, love. I didn't mean to hit your head. I hope I didn't hurt you too badly."

"Dude, I have a concussion! That could have fucked up my head even more than it is already. Now Ronnie's going to make me go back to the hospital. Do you know how much money that is?!" I glared at him.

"I'll buy you coffee tomorrow morning." He said sweetly.

"That's not going to fix anything!" I complained.

"So you don't want the coffee?" He said quietly.

"Yes, the coffee would be nice, but- oh whatever. Just go play your set." I rolled my eyes. Oliver laughed as he walked off the bus. Ben and Danny sat in front of me and I trivially stared at the pair. "Would one of you like to untie me?"

"Can I get a blow job I do so?" Ben asked, his eyes lighting up. I laughed a little at this. He was not even joking, I think sexual activities genuinely excited the guy. He didn't strike me as the most intellectual man in the world, nor the most gentelmanly. However, he was a stupid and huge child underneath all of the stupid, angry, hard exterior... Maybe a lot like myself. But he's still a dick.

"I don't think so, pal." I rolled my eyes at him.

"So what did you want to do today, B?" Danny said, rather uninterested as he pulled the ropes off of me. My arms were free now. I felt so relieved

"I thought maybe we could fill water balloons up and throw them at chicks so that their shirts stick to their tits and count the number of girls who aren't wearing bras." I said sarcastically, untying my feet. Danny and Ben looked at each other and grinned.

"Ben my love, I think I've been saying that we needed to do some shit like this since day one!" Danny exclaimed.

"Oh shit yes!" Ben pumped his fist in the air. I looked at them like they had six heads.

"Whoa there, I was joking."

"No you weren't. This is an excellent idea." Danny said.

"Really excellent." Ben nodded. "Danny let's go get the water balloons." Danny ran back into his bunk and grabbed a large pack of one hundred water balloons. Ben took out his cellphone and started dialing something.

"I'm supposed to stay inside because of my concussion." I pointed out. "That's why I'm stuck with you two today."

"What fun is staying inside? You'll be alright." Ben said, but quickly turned his attention to the phone when someone on the other line picked up. "Hey, you fuckers better get back to the bus. There are water balloons and we have tits!" Ben exclaimed. The person on the other line shouted so loud I could hear them, and three minutes later, James Cassels, Cameron Liddell, and Sam Bettely were storming on the bus. The place sounded like a war zone.

"Aww, I don't much care to see her tits." Sam whined. "Can I see someone's tits that aren't on the internet?"

"Her tits aren't on the internet anymore." Ben said.

"And she's a porn star." Danny wiggled his eyebrows.

"Are we finally making a pornography film, you do know I have said we needed to do one since we started this band." Cameron cheered.

"Hi, I'm James." Asking Alexandria's drummer took my hand and shook it. I had never met him before, but I had heard of him and seen him play on stage. He was exceptionally sexy. But I'm dating Ronnie, so I wouldn't dare tap that.

"So what are we doing with water balloons?" Sam asked, suddenly confused.

"And where are the tits?!" Cameron shouted.

"I suggested that we throw water balloons at girls' shirts and when their shirts are all wet, sticking to their chests, we can see which ones aren't wearing bras. But I was being sarcastic, that's a shit idea."

"No it's not! That's a fucking fantastic idea." James laughed. "Lets go fill these up." We all ran off the bus, splitting up to find a hose of some sort. Sam and Cameron paired up to fill their water balloons, Danny and James paired up to do theirs, and I found myself at the back of a building near the venue slipping balloons around the opening of a fawcett and filling them with water. With Ben.

"Stop breaking them!" He swatted my hand away.

"I'm not trying to, you dick." I growled at him. I didn't care much for Ben, but I would play nice because I kind of liked the rest of his band, not including Danny.

"Here, you just slip it on like a condom. Imagine the fawcett as a penis, just delicately-" He was explaining it to me, but I couldn't listen. I found myself crying. Not out of sadness, but out of complete joy. What a fucking way to explain it, Ben!

"I- You- Penis." I stuttered out between laughs.

"Oh shut up." He grinned at me. "It's not that funny."

"You- Said- Like- Condom." I laughed even harder.

"I have filled ten by now. Stop laughing and help me you cunt." He whined.

"You're such a whore." I snickered, handing him a balloon.

"Thank you. You're a whore as well." He smiled.

"Not a compliment." I shook my head.

"Whatever." He shrugged. "I don't care."

"Well maybe some people do." I spat at him.

"I already apologized for the pictures. It wasn't even my fault." He yelled at me.

"Yes it was." I glared. "You ruined my life." He dropped the water ballon he was filling and it splashed to the ground. I took a step back from him and folded my arms.

"You want to know what really happened?"

"I know what happened, you fucker."

"My ex girlfriend posted them because she was pissed at me for sleeping with you. We were dating at the time, but we aren't now. And I'm sorry you think I've ruined your life, but you know what? Your life isn't all that ruined. You earned a reputation because of those pictures, which morally, yeah, they fucked you over, but you got a job didn't you? Those pictures got you into being a porn star, correct? And you have a boyfriend, who loves you very much despite the fact that everybody in the whole world thinks your a dirty whore." Ben said calmly, yet loudly.

"I'm not a whore." I screamed at him.

"You're not a whore. You're right about that, but you're completely wrong in saying that the Isanyoneup incident ruined your life. It didn't. You have to get your head out of your ass and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Don't worry about all of these people hating you for thinking these shitty lies about you. They can't bother you if you don't let them. Those pictures aren't a problem for you, they're a problem for a bunch of skanky internet using bitches who are jealous that I even thought about having sex with you because you're way fucking hotter than all of them." He finished.

I stayed silent for a moment, thinking over everything he said. He's the first person to ever put things in that perspective. Oliver's perspective? Disillusion everyone of these motherfuckers that hates me, just be who I am and fuck them all. My life isn't a movie set, there aren't cameras on me constantly. I shouldn't have to feel like I have to act a certain way. I shouldn't try and rebel against everything and be a huge slut. And now Ben's saying fuck them all if they have a problem. I don't need to explain myself, contrary to what Oliver said.

"And I'm sorry if you thought I hated you. Maybe my dark humor and sarcastic jokes didn't quite make you laugh." He added quietly.

"Thank you." I nodded.

"I'm sorry, but not for allegedly ruining your life. I'm sorry I'm a dick to you. I don't mean to be."

"I-I actually forgive you this time." I said. "I don't hate you anymore."

"Well, I'm still the same Ben." He snorted. "Don't think this is the end of the porn star jokes."

I smiled softly at him. "No, I'll be expecting those."

"Now get over here and fill these fuckers up!" He grinned. "You should know how to do it, it's like putting condoms on dicks."

"As long as you'll turn the water on for me." I said, but then added. "Left is loose, loose like the whores you fuck."

"Classy." He laughed.

"I understand." I nodded as I absent mindedly went over the differences between what him and Oliver said. Oli said to justify it. Ben said to let them think whatever they wanted. Who cares what they think anyways.

I don't know. I feel like that's what I've been trying to do, unsuccessfully not care about what people think. But it hurts every time some band member refers to me as the Whore Of Warped Tour. I feel like then, I should justify things. Only, instead of justifying things so far I have made people hate me so much more. In fact, for the longest time after the Isanyoneup situation I provoked everyone to hate me. If they wanted to call me a whore, I was going to give them that.

But I don't owe any of these people anything, not even an explanation.

The only person who's opinion of me matters is mine, and maybe Ronnie's. I hate hating myself. I hate it when Ronnie thinks poorly of me. I hate it when ANYBODY thinks poorly of me. But I think I could live with that, with all of them hating me. As long as I like who I am, and as long as Ronnie loves me for that person.

Ronnie loves me, or at least he thinks he does. And I am perfectly fine with who I am at the moment. So what's the major malfuntion again?