We Are All Okay

We were in English now, and Monte was all over me. I gotta say, he's really way too clingy. I don't like it. At first I was excited he was coming to this scool, but now I think he likes me way more than I like him. I just want him to go back to the other school now and leave me alone. I love him as my best friend, but I think for a while now... he's been liking me as more. I just never said anything, because I need him too much. Max kind of broke me into four.
"I love you." He said, kissing my hand. I just smiled. The teacher was going over a lesson. God damn our English teacher is cute! Okay, that thought right there... and the fact that I like Max, is why I shouldn't be dating Monte. Oh my god I fucked up, and now I'm going to lose him as a friend. I should have just pushed him away at the concert! Monte frowned. "No I love you back?"
"Oh. Umm, same." I smiled, returning my attention to the lesson.
"Okay..." Monte said.
"Tallia and Monte outside right now!" Mr. Penwell shouted. "If you've got something to talk about, don't interrupt me, okay?" He said, exasperated. So Monte and I walked outside.
"What's wrong?" Monte frowned. "Everytime I say I love you, you flinch. When I kiss you, you hold back."
"Monte I-"
"You just love me as a friend." He said sadly.
I nodded.
"So why would you kiss me at that concert?"
"Caught up in the moment..." was all I said.
"Well thanks a lot." He said. "Because I really like you. I've always really liked you, and you used me."
"I did not use you!"
"You like Max, Tillie. Max ditched you. I'm your rebound, which is really shitty, because I'm your best friend."
"I guess we're not really best friend then, huh? Because a best friend doesn't fucking love the other one, and say nothing about it." I snapped.
"You're yelling at me for not wanting to fuck up our friendship?" He laughed. "Wow."
"Brian, you're right. I don't like you like that. I'm sorry that you like me, but I don't like you."
"Way to ruin everything." He said rudely. "You're just like your fucking brother. Only thinking about yourself."
"I didn't ruin it! You're the one that likes me! If you didn't like me, then none of this would be happening. This would've happened eventually, because your stupid feelings got in the way. And you don't know my brother like I do so shut the fuck up okay?" I shouted. Mr. Penwell came out of the classroom, opening the door wide. Apparently everybody heard our arguement. Monte had tears forming in his eyes. "Oh my- Oh my god. Brian, I'm sor-" I went to say, because I felt like such a bitch. I deserved any terrible things he said to me at this point. He shouldn't have gone there, though.
"You're a bitch." He snapped back. Mr. Penwell told him to go to the office for that, and had me come back inside to sit back down. He went on teaching the lesson, but nobody paid him any attention. Everyone was busy talking shit about what just happened. Robert grabbed my hand and said it would be okay. I just stared at the desk as hard as I could to keep from crying. No, no it wasn't. And as soon as the bell rang I was sobbing into Robert's chest, crying about how I hurt Brian's feelings.
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"I'm sorry." Max said for the thousandth time today.
"You still meant to do it." I said, I was still conflicted with the whole Monte drama. Max wasn't even an issue anymore.
"I only did it because your brother told me to." Max said sadly.
"Great, well, I'm not friends with people who can't stand up for the truth anyways. Go away." I said.
"Please just tell me it's okay."
"But it's not." I turned the other way and started sketching. We are in Art class right now.
"Okay Class, today you will be working on that project!" The teacher exclaimed.
"Fuck." I whispered.
"Looks like now you have to talk to me." Max said, smirking.
"I hate you." I said.
"Well, better start getting to know me. Partner." He grinned. I flipped him off.
"Miss Radke!" The art teacher laughed. Yes, laughed. "Please, if you're going to do that wait until I'm not looking." She winked. She's actually a pretty cool old lady.
"Tallia." Max said, and I didn't turn to look at him. "Fine." I heard him take out a peice of paper and a pencil next to me. Then he started drawing.
"What are you drawing Max?" The teacher came up. Everyone else was just taking the opportunity to talk. "Oh, a donkey!" The teacher said, confused. "What does this say about your partner?"
"It's not a picture for my partner. It's a picture of me. And it means that I am a jack ass for hurting this girl's feelings and kind of being the reason she broke a few ribs, and that I'd like it if she would forgive me." That was really sweet of him. The dick.
"Detention Maxwell!" The teacher was not impressed.
I quickly got out a peice of paper and started drawing something. I then stood up and said, "This is a picture of my partner. Max is a dick for what he did to me..." I looked at him and he frowned. "But I forgive him." The class laughed at my drawing.
"You do?" He asked.
"Yes, not entirely for how you kind of snapped my heart into four tiny pieces, but I forgive you for it."
"It's a start he said."
"Detention!" The art teacher growled. "Why would you go and draw that? That is so dirty!" She complained, making everyone in the class crack up laughing.
I laughed too, but this didn't mean I was over how bad he hurt me. I opened up to him, and he broke me. What the hell is that? Then there's Brian. My best friend fell for me, and I couldn't do the same because I had feelings for the guy that made me a wreck for weeks on end. Yet I still kissed Brian. I never told him how I felt, or who I felt for. I am such a bad person. Why can't my life be cliche and perfect?
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"So you can't make it to my house later... because you drew a jack ass in the middle of artclass and named it Max." Ronnie concluded, and now that he puts it that way, I guess it's pretty fucking funny. Plus, the way he put it, it almost rhymed.
"You were right." Max said. "I needed to make up with her.
"Of course I was right." Ronnie scoffed. "I am great with these love things."
"It's not a love thing..." I trailed off, staring at Max as he smoked his cigarette. His lips curled around the smoke as he exhaled. It was kind of hypnotic. "We're just friends again."
"You're telling me that neither of you have feelings for each other?" Ronnie asked us. And I lied.
"No feelings what so ever." I said. Ronnie looked at me disbelievingly. He had a right to, though. I was completely into Max. So obviously desperate, and so desperately obvious, as Taking Back Sunday once said.
"C'mon man, give it a break." Max laughed at my brother. "We're just friends is all, plus she's got a boyfriend."
Max and Ronnie glared at each other for a moment, but then returned to a normal conversation about their bands. "Yeah, Mitch went back to California." My brother said sadly. "So 3.0 broke up."
"You're in a band called lefty right now, though." Max said. "And I'm still playing with Almost Heroes. I was shocked when I heard you guys play. I thought we sucked and you guys were really good."
"Thanks man." Ronnie laughed. "You're way better than my current bassist." Ronnie thought for a second. "I should kick mine out."
"You should!" Max grinned. "I'd love to be in a band with you."
"And I should become a Ballerina." I laughed at them. Were they serious, Ronnie couldn't just kick his bass player out of the band so Max could play.
"I'll tell him he's out this afternoon at practice. You're Lefty's new bass player." My brother said excitedly. I couldn't believe him. I would never do that to my friend, even if they weren't the best. What an ass hole. Even worse, Max didn't feel bad either. I left them their to inhale their cancer sticks and I walked off to the detention center. Fuck both of them, I'm glad I'm not their friend, because they make horrible friends.