I'm Beating Myself Up Over This

It had been a couple weeks since everything had happened. For the first few days I was faking happy, but then I didn’t have to anymore. I sound horrible, but I wasn’t sad about my mom anymore. Maybe I knew it’s because she really wanted to be with my dad again.

But today was a good day. I was practically trying to run off the bus before it even stopped.

I walked out into the sun and took a deep breath. As I exhaled, I smiled.

Warped Tour.

Our friend Corey had come a few days ago to take over merch for me, because my new official job was to keep track of the boys and make sure they weren’t off doing their own thing when it was time for them to play their set. I ran off to see what bands I could meet. I had Lee with me; he wanted to find the guys from Four Year Strong. Once he saw them, he told me what time they were playing and what stage so I could be there.

I was walking around aimlessly when I accidentally bumped into someone, spilling whatever drink they had in their hand.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry!” I said. I had spilled it on their shirt.

“No problem, it’s only water,” he said with a laugh.

When I looked up I saw a boy. He was rather tall, and skinny, though not too skinny. He had a pass around his neck. He looked a bit familiar but with his sunglasses I couldn’t really see.

I smiled and looked down at my phone that was vibrating.

Tommy Boy.

I didn’t answer.

“So, are you here with Bring Me The Horizon?” he asked.

I looked up a little shocked.

“How’d you know?” I asked.

“Well, your accent for one. And, you’re wearing a DropDead shirt. So I kinda figured.” He said with a smile. I giggled.

Since when do I fucking giggle?

He smirked and took his glasses off.

I knew I knew him. Gabe Saporta from Cobra Starship.

“Well, I best be off to find the boys. They’re suppose to go on soon,” I said, not really wanting to end the conversation, if you could even call it that.

It wasn’t that he was giving me butterflies or anything, but he sure is nice to look at.

“Oh, yeah. Hey, what are you doing around 1?” he asked.

“Uhm, nothing. Why?” I responded.

“Well, that’s when my set is, and I’d really like it if you came to watch.” He said with his ever present smile.

“Sure.”

BMTH’s set was over, and it was quarter to one. I ran to Tom and gave him the camera that I was taking pictures with, but before I could bolt off he stopped me.

“Where are you in such a hurry to get to?” he asked.

“Cobra Starship’s set.” I said.

“Why?”

“Gabe asked me to watch their set.” I said as I ran off.

Why did he look so mad?

Just before Cobra went on, I found a spot at the front. ‘The city is at war’ started and I saw Gabe come out. He looked in my direction and smiled. Their set was good. I wasn’t a huge fan, though I did like them. If he hadn’t asked me to come see their set I probably wouldn’t have today, though I would have eventually, just to see them live.

After their set Gabe come over to me.

“Soooo. How’d you like it?” he asked.

“It was really good. I loved ‘Guilty Pleasure’” I said with a smile.

“So, I wanted to ask you something. There’s a party tonight, and I was kinda hoping you’d be my date.” He said with hopeful eyes.

I thought about it for a second. I was really hoping I could just go with Tom and hang around with him and the boys. But having a date did sound appealing. Both options helped me not get hit on by guys I didn’t want hitting on me, but if I went with a date it said that I was with him, whereas if I just went with the boys it gave me freedom to flirt.

But damn, he was so nice to look at.

“Sure,” I said while smiling.

And somehow, even while saying the words, I know shit was going to hit the fan tonight.