We Lit Up Like Fireworks

"What's up, Jay? You look like your cat died or something," Nikki asked, raising a brow as she slid a plate stacked with fluffy pancakes across the kitchen bench to me. I took the plate, murmuring a small word of thanks before picking up my fork, poking little holes into the top pancake. Nikki sighed, handing me the maple syrup before gently grabbing my chin, tilting it up so she could look at me with worried eyes. "You've been crying. God, I swear you're more of a baby than Miles! What's eating at you?"

"Nothing, Nikki," I sighed, turning my head as she removed her fingers from my face. I drizzled the maple syrup onto my pancakes as I ignored Nikki's unabashed stares directed at the top of my head. She groaned, slapping the top of my head as I looked up, wide-eyed and a little annoyed. "Will you quit it? Nothing's wrong with me. I'm just tired." I could see the flashing neon billboard above my head screaming "LIAR. LIAR. LIAR."

"Oh, cut the crap, Jay. The only time you've looked so distraught was when Liv dumped you in eighth grade, but even that wasn't as bad as this. You look dead, Jay. You don't even play with Miles any more. That kid has been complaining to me about it. He's worried for you. It's been two weeks already- what's bugging you so much?"

Two weeks. It's been two weeks since I had last seen Kenzie. Fourteen days of pure torture wondering what Kenzie was up to. But honestly, I didn't really want to know- he was probably with his girlfriend, the baby-sitter from Hell, and he has probably already forgotten all about me, that discarded fling that had fallen head over heels for the guy much too young for him. That stupid, lonely guy who fell in love with a taken boy who wasn't going to delve into a relationship with the single father who only collects a small amount of cash from playing in pubs and small functions.

I stabbed the pancakes with my fork, abruptly scrabbling to my feet. Nikki opened her mouth to say something but I silenced her with a quick shake my head, shooting her a weak smile.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" Nikki whispered softly, and I shook my head, as her arms went around my waist, her head resting on my chest, hair slightly damp from her morning shower, smelling like chemical roses. I kissed the top of her head as she squeezed me. "I don't like this you. This isn't you, Jay. This isn't the best friend I know. I don't like it. I don't like it at all."

"I know," I replied, kissing her hair again before pulling back."But I'll be fine soon. Don't worry about me, just get your butt off to work." Nikki laughed, shoving me lightly, before pulling off her flour-caked apron, draping it over my arms.

"You had better be smiling when I come back home, alright?" Nikki said, walking upstairs to get changed, giving me a stern look as I hung up the apron on the wooden rack nailed to the wall next to the fridge. I ate what I could of the pancakes despite my lack of a healthy appetite and had stacked the plate into the packed dishwasher as Nikki came down, her hands in her hair as she knotted the locks into a messy bun at the base of her skull.

"Have fun, work hard," I said, just like every day and she thanked me, grabbing her back as she pulled on her black heels.

"Oh, the baby sitter's coming over- I don't trust you with Miles," she said, sticking her tongue out at me as my heart thumped. Nikki waved goodbye before walking out the door to the tram stop down the street. I locked the door, imaging the scene of Kenzie appearing in all is glory on my mundane door step, that dimpled smile on his face, eyes focused on mine with a glazed curiosity. The image in my Kenzie-deprived mind was so real, so tangible that I physically opened the door, the image of someone other than Kenzie shattering my startling mental image. It was the baby sitter, but not the one I wanted. It was Kenzie's girlfriend, in all her bitchiness. I was jealous, because she has probably been held by Kenzie on a daily basis. She probably sees him every day, kisses him every day and gets told "I love you," by him every day. I was beyond jealous, but every time I thought about the two of them together, all I can see is a perfect couple. Though Kenzie's girlfriend was a bit of a bitch, she was very pretty- and the two of them would be perfect together.

She pushed past me, barely saying anything besides a curt "'Sup, Mr Lewis." I turned stiffly, barely managing a coherent hello, before Miles screamed at the sight of his nemesis, hiding behind my legs.

"D-Daddy... why is the witch in our house?! Why isn't Kenzie here?" Miles whined, and I picked him up, eyeing the baby sitter who was currently scooping herself a bowl of choc-mint ice cream from our fridge warily.

"I don't know, Miles. Kenzie was only replacing her, remember? He won't come around any more," I said slowly, as the girl came back out, her mouth bulging with ice cream.

"You talking about Kenzie?" she asked, over hearing our conversation.

"Did you eat him?!" Miles blurted out, lip trembling in fear. "I had a dream you ate him! You turned into a m-monster and ate Kenzie! Daddy! She killed him!"

The girl just looked at Miles like he was the monster and I kissed his cheek, shushing him gently.

"But daddy, she ate Kenzie!" Miles said again and again, as the baby sitter sighed, finishing her ice cream.

"Calm down, Miles. I haven't even seen Kenzie for a while anyway. His parents have him on some sort of lock down because of something he did. They're all about punishments and crap. They won't even let me see him." She rolled her eyes, kicking her legs up onto the sofa. "And besides, Kenzie has been messed up lately, according to some of his friends. He rarely hangs out with them, but when he does its like he'snot even there, always staring out with a weird expression on his face. And those gloves he never takes off! They're disgusting. I don't know who gave them to him, but ever since two weeks ago he's never gone a day without them. Ugh. I only asked him out because he was hot and seemingly cool, but apparently not. And to be the one to break up with me! God, he's such a jack ass."

I just stared at her, and stared at her, and stared at her, probably to the point of her starting to feel invaded.

"He... broke up with you?" I asked, putting Miles back down onto the ground.

"Well, yeah, I just said that didn't I? Two weeks ago, he rang me up and fucking 5 in the morning and broke up with me. Just like that, and I haven't seen him very much, only at school... but then I heard he dropped out of school or something. Maybe that's why his parents are so pissed off right now, locking him up in his house. Serves that jerk right," she continued, huffing haughtily before turning back to me. "But why are you so curious anyway?"

"Kenzie's not a jerk," I said slowly, glaring at her as I grabbed Miles' hand, handing him his small coat as I slid my own one on, opening the door before pointing through the open frame. "And I don't blame him for breaking up with you. Now, get the fuck out of my house. Now."

"Oooh, daddy used a naughty word!" Miles giggled, before adopting my harsh facial expression, also pointing out the door. "And daddy said get out, so get out!"

The baby sitter scoffed, before sauntering out, hissing at Miles before leaving since he tried to trip her, getting his revenge one last time. Miles moved to close the door, but I stopped him, picking him up instead.

"Are we going, daddy?" Miles asked, and I nodded, walking to my car. "Where?"

"We're finding Kenzie," I said, as Miles clapped his hands in excitement.

"Do you know where he lives, daddy?"

"No... but I think mummy does. Here, Miles, call mummy whilst I get the car ready," I said, as Miles nodded, saluting adorably. "Kenzie, here I come, whether you want me to or not."