Just Take a Second to Set Things Straight

ALEX'S POV

I heard the door close, which meant Erica and Zack had left, and I was just stood here, staring at Allie. A pregnant Allie. And the kid was mine. And she didn't even know it. Fuck. This should be a good thing for most guys in bands, you know, they could get outta the responsibilities of being a father, and yeah, maybe a few years ago I would have been the same. But not now. Not when I cared about this woman so much. And she was pregnant. And I loved her, but she didn't know me. What was I supposed to do?

"Are you alright? You look kinda pale..." Allie said, staring at me with concern plain on her face.

I locked eyes with her. God she was so beautiful. "Your hair...it was blue..."

She gave me a weird look. "Uhm, yeah...how'd you know?"

Shit. This was harder than I thought it would be. "Erica...mentioned it."

"Yeah, I guess it's an unusual colour. But I thought people would look at me weird if I was pregnant with blue hair so I got Erica to dye it, I kinda like it this colour." She'd dies her hair a soft blonde colour, maybe a couple of shades darker than Erica.

"Why didn't you just let the dye go and go back to your natural colour?"

Allie looked down at her feet...well bump...guess she couldn't really see her feet over her baby bump. "Honestly? I can't really remember my original colour."

I could. A chestnut colour that burned a rich orange in the right light. "Oh, you dye it a lot then?" Fuck, Alex, is this supposed to be small talk? I mentally kicked myself.

She gave me a weird smile. "Erm, yeah...sorry, do you mind if I just go get changed? I presume you know where everything is...I mean they said you're a close friend of Zack's so..."

"Yeah, don't sweat it, I got it." Allie smiled at me politely and left to change.

I let out a shaking breath, not quite knowing what to do with myself.

After pacing the room for a while I sat down on Zack's couch and stretched, relieving some of the tension in my bones. Dammit. She was pregnant with my kid. That's why Erica had tried to keep me away. I guess I just had to try and deal with it. I just had to become someone new and hope against all odds she would remember me.

Suddenly my phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, it was Zack. Wasn't he on a date with Erica?

"S'up ketchup?" I answered.

"Stop with the stupid nickname, and it's not Zack, it's Erica."

"Oh...erm okay? What can I do for you?" I asked confused. Why was she ringing me?

As if reading my thoughts I heard Zack shout in the background. "She won't stop worrying so she had to call even though it's barely been twenty minutes. Just calm her nerves so we can enjoy our fucking date!" I chuckled at him as Erica scolded him.

"Anyway!" Erica said, continuing. "I just wanted to make sure...well make sure that she's not freaking out."

"No, she's not. She's just gone to change. I'm currently emptying Zack's supply of ketchup and replacing it with peanut butter."

"Shut up and stop joking around. Seriously though, she's okay right?" Damn, Erica really did look out for Allie.

"Yeah she's fine...but...pregnant? I mean really? Is that why you kept her away from me? Is it really my kid?"

Erica sighed. "Yes, Alex. She is pregnant, five months. And it is your kid. She hasn't been with anyone since you. She can't...she just forgets the guys after the first date. It's useless. And...well that's kind of another reason I kept you away from her."

"What do you mean?"

"Alex...don't get upset okay? It's just...well she'll forget you again. The only reason she remembers me and her mom is because we're constantly with her or talking to her. She recognises us as people she's comfortable with, but she never really remembers us from her past. Like she can make the connection with memories of her dad where her mom looks similar, but that's it."

"Well I'll just become a constant in her life then," I said adamantly. Anything to get at least a part of her back.

Erica sighed again. "It's not that easy. She could forget again. And her mother and I can handle it, we're used to it, but it'll kill you."

"I have to be there for her. I have to be there for our child. I don't care what happens. I just need to be there."

"And how do you explain to her that it's her kid and you're the father when she wakes up one day and doesn't remember the kid sat opening birthday presents?"

I gulped loudly. "She'd forget her own kid?" I asked, voice barely above a whisper.

"The doctors say it's a possibility. People often do. They just...don't remember. It's going to be so tough Alex."

"Just let me try, please, let me just try and get her to recognise me after a while. Let me become what you are to her. No romantic stuff. I just need her back, even if it's just as a friend. I'll do anything."

"What will you do when you go on tour?"

I sighed, but answered nonetheless. "I'll call her, skype her, everyday. Please."

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. I was so nervous. I needed her to say yes. "Fine," Erica finally said as I mentally did backflips. "But you can't try and romance her, it'll just scare her off, she always pushes people away like that. She never thinks they'll want to stay."

"But I will want to stay."

"Yes, but Allie doesn't know that. And you have to promise to stick to your word, you gotta make time for her every single day. Think of it as a trial period. If you make the effort, I'll let you look after her completely if she's comfortable enough. But you realise how much time you'll have to spend looking after her? Even when you tour you'll have to make time on the phone or on skype."

"I know, I promise, I never want to let her go. Not ever again."

"Good. But I'm only doing this for the sake of the kid, okay? You'll have to take full custody."

My heart stopped and I came off cloud nine. "But...that would break Allie's heart..." I knew it would. She'd never want to abandon a child.

"I know...but it's not like you'll take the kid away from her. It just means that when it's mom forgets it's name, at least the kid will have someone close by who remembers. If she freaks out...the kid will have you."

I sighed. When you thought about it that way...I guess it did make sense. "Okay. Thanks, Erica."

"Don't thank me yet. And please don't...don't get weird when she forgets your name. Just stay calm and don't think too much of it."

I didn't say anything to that. Erica went on to explain how Allie forgets her and Zack's names and sometimes has to be reminded who Zack was. It broke my heart knowing she wouldn't remember, but I had to do this. I had to be there for her. For our child.

Eventually we hung up, and they promised to not get stressed again and that they would have fun and leave me to look after Allie.

I sat with my head in my hands, trying to stop myself from tearing out my hair with the aching I felt in my heart. Suddenly I heard the soft padding of bare feet against the floor, and looked up to see Allie stood there in pajama bottoms and...and my hoodie. I thought I had lost it but I guess...well I guess Allie must have picked it up before she left me, when I didn't know a thing, thinking it was hers.

"Oh...um, I'm sorry, are you a friend of Zack and Erica's? I can't find them right now...I don't know where they went...but you remind me of someone I used to...I...um..." Allie had a look on her face like she was trying really hard to place me, and it just killed me. She forgot me already.

"Yeah, I work with Zack, he's one of my best friend's. They went out on a date, I'm supposed to be looking after you, remember?" I said with a smile, hiding the sadness I felt.

A little flicker of recognition ignited in her eyes. "Oh! God, yes! Sorry, my mind can be temperamental at times, I guess you could say..." she said looking down again.

I smiled at her a little and tipped her chin up. "I know, don't worry. They told me about your...uhm, condition..."

Allie let out a sad little nervous laugh. "Well yeah, that's me, the genetic freak. Fucking twenty three and already I come into my grandmother's genes eh?"

"You're not a freak," I said softly, mentally stopping myself from the instant reaction I felt of brushing her hair out of her face.

Allie looked up at me and smiled. "Thanks...I guess. Uhm, do you wanna watch a movie while we're waiting for them to come back?"

"Sure," I answered and settled her on the couch, making popcorn and getting drinks and snacks for us.

When I came back, I sat next to her. Not too close...just a comfortable closeness for virtual strangers.

"I'm sorry," she started. "You'll have to remind me of your name."

Again, I felt the ache in my chest. "It's Alex," I answered, without freaking out.

Allie nodded. "Right. Do you know where Zack and Erica are? I can't find them."

Yeah. This was going to be hard. But she was worth it. Our child was worth it.