Camp Redwood

Back in high school, I wasn't a popular one. With girls - sure, why not? But I chose not to have many friends, because I wasn't one for trusting people. This is why after the "Safe Space" session, I sat alone during lunch in the courtyard.

I had already finished my lunch, observing the hordes of kids just sitting down to start eating theirs. I met eyes with the blonde girl from the session we had both just come from, the one who constantly giggled. She was short, at least a foot smaller relative to myself. 

She broke the gaze and turned, walking up to Kalliope, and asked (extremely incoherent from where I was), "Can I please sit here?" 

Kalliope shook her head, even though her table was deserted, and slid closer to Forrest. After being rejected, Aubrey, the girl, didn't falter one bit to keep the smile on her face. 

After being turned down by her only life-line, she trekked her way toward my table, bounce in every step she took.

"Can I sit here?" she asked chipperly. She dropped her tray across from mine without even waiting for an answer. A single green apple lay in the center of it, and she picked it up, rubbing it against her t-shirt saying, "I'm As Sweet As Candy" to polish it off. "What's your name?" 

She obviously didn't remember me from the therapy session we had earlier. "Keegan," I answered, pushing away my plate. "We just had a therapy session together an hour ago." 

Her eyes flickered with recognition. "Oh, right," she said, holding out her apple. I took it with a quick nod. She shifted her position. "You were the one who called my friend Kalliope a chicken." 

I laughed, in spite of hurting her feelings. "Your friend? Is that really what you call her?" 

She was confused, eyes big and round as she frowned at me. "Yes, why?" 

I rolled my eyes. "Didn't seem like a good friend when she blew you off just then."

She looked over her shoulder, shrugging quickly before turning back towards me. I could tell it hurt her - it was obvious, but if she was, she didn't let me see it. "All my friends do that." 

Sighing, I leaned forward. I really wondered why she put up with that. "I think you need to find some new friends, Sunny," I said, slowly, enunciating my words extra clearly to get my point across. 

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Sunny?" she asked, folding her small hands on the table.

"Because you're always smiling." 

This made her grin even more, revealing a perfectly straight, white overbite. "Wow," she said as I bit off the apple. "I have a friend now!" 

Her smile was contagious, and I couldn't help offering one towards her. "Likewise," I said to her.

A loud screeching sound filled the courtyard, and Dr. Poxleitner stood on the patio of the main cabin, looking down at us with a megaphone in hand. She was dressed in casual clothes, significantly unlike this morning during our 'safe space' time. 

Dr. P brought the megaphone to her thin lips. "Attention, children," she said, as if we were five. The talking quieted to hush whisper. Dr.P continued, "There will be an optional campfire tonight at seven, but remember that your curfew is eleven and you will be severely punished if you break this rule."

Immediately I planned on not going. 

"A campfire!" Aubrey yelled excitedly and raised her hand, jumping up and down in her seat. Dr. P smiled warmly despite her obvious annoyance. She called Aubrey's name into the megaphone, pointing in our direction. 

To say everyone was looking at us, heads turned, was an understatement. Neither one of us paid any mind, and Aubrey went on with her question. 

"Will there be s'mores?" she screamed towards Dr. P, hands cupped around her mouth. Laughter boomed across the courtyard.  
Dr. P's lips were in a hard, thin line, most likely thinking Aubrey was trying to be funny. She should've known her better than that. 

"Yes, darling," she managed to say through gritted teeth. "There will be s'mores." 



One thing I can tell you with complete confidence is that people don't change. Not ever. I've gone to this Alcatraz every summer since I was twelve, and still I haven't quit. Telling someone how you feel all the time doesn't stop what happens to you. The same shit goes on. 

Weed. That's what makes me feel better.

So you can imagine my irritation when, due to my last name, I was the first one to have the honor of one-on-one time with Dr. P in the main cabin. 

"Keegan," she frowned once I walked through her door. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to see you this year."

I shrugged, sitting on the black chair I knew all too well. "The feeling is mutual, Doctor."

She sighed. Not too long ago I'd known her as a young, cheeky therapist that couldn't wait to pick out all your problems. Now she looked exhausted, years of worry lines marking up her face, due to almost a decade of dealing with crazy people. 

I didn't blame her. 

"This will be fast, am I right?" she asked. I nodded, certain that she knew almost more about myself than I did. She jotted something down on a clipboard I never noticed she had. "Its your fifth year here, Keegan," she said. 

"Yeah, I know." 

Her eyes flickered up to me before she started writing again. "If you don't put in an effort to stop, you won't be invited to stay here next year." 

I shrugged. 

"And I know for a fact you'd rather be here than at home for a whole summer."

She was right, and I couldn't deny it. 

"So please try, Keegan," she pleaded. "If not for yourself, for your future." 

I told her I got it, and gave her some shit like, I'm sorry about not quitting and I'll try harder this year to clean myself up. You've really helped me and I appreciate it. Thanks.

Then I nod and leave, no regrets.

She always buys it.

I walk out into the open air, moving to grab a cig from the pack I had in my back pocket, but stopped, realizing I forgot my lighter back in my cabin. I mentally face-palmed myself and looked around for anyone that might have something on them. The cobblestone walkway in front of me was empty. The closest person to me was sitting on a wood bench, far off, reading a book. 

I leaned down to look at the title. 

"To Kill A Mockingbird," I stated, trying to be casual. "Nice." 

They lowered the book, revealing Lupe, who glared at me with piercing green eyes. She probably didn't want me there, but I didn't care much. I was a man on a mission.

A mission to find a lighter. 

Feeling awkward for standing over the girl, I slid next to her, placing my foot over my knee.

I nodded toward the book as she just stared at me, her thin hair covering part of her face. She was so slight, I noted, taking in her oversized t-shirt cut on the sides. "I read it in ninth grade." I said, trying to get at least a smile out of her.

She looked at the ground, and I noticed her hand was shaking. "What do you want?" She glowered at me, green eyes irritated and impatient.

"Well aren't you just as sweet as soda pop?" I laughed, deciding to get to the point. "Do you happen to have a lighter?"

She shook her head, turning a page of her book. 

"Okay." I sighed sullenly, standing. "Bye then, Lupe." 

Her head snapped up, in clear surprise that I actually remembered her name. I rolled on my heels for a strange second before saying, "Tell me what you think about that book when you're done."

I looked over my shoulder at the blushing girl before walking back to my cabin. I smiled when I noticed, with some red in her cheeks, she was actually quite pretty. 



I was sitting atop my bunk bed, in the cabin I unfortunately shared with Forrest, for a little more than an hour until someone knocked on the door. I sighed, sad that I couldn't have the room to myself anymore. 

"Come in!" I called, feeling dull.

"Keegan!" Aubrey smiled, as she closed the cabin before anyone noticed that she slipped in. My eyes flickered up to her, honestly wondering how the hell she could've known my cabin number. 

She just watched me intently, looking at me with those passive brown eyes. I had never seen any so large on a person before. Smoke filled the cabin as I exhaled, causing Aubrey to breathe in and cough once before climbing on my bunk bed and sitting cross legged in front of me. 

I exhaled again, impressing her with a smoke ring that traveled across the room. It floated inches past her face. 

"You're not allowed to smoke in here, you know," she whispered. "If they found out..." She left the last words to my imagination. What would they do, I thought, if I was caught? 

Aubrey coughed again, and I laughed, offering the cigarette. Unsurprisingly she shook her head, staring at me like I was diseased. I just smirked. I had only met the girl this morning and still knew enough about her to conclude that she was not one to break the rules. Especially at a place like this one.  

"Rockin' a grit and smoking weed, Sunny, aren't entirely the same thing," I explained. Smoking cigs curbed my taste for the real stuff. 

She sighed. "Whatever you're 'rocking', Keegan," she mocked, in a failed attempt to imitate my voice. "It's not good for you." 

I paused before stating, "Neither is candy." 

She looked to the side, anywhere but at me. 

I said nothing. We both knew I was right, and that was the end. Pinching the lighted end of the cigarette between my fingers, the fire singed my hand. Once I was sure it was out, I flicked the butt across the room. It landed right on top of Forrest's pillow. I smiled, glad I hit exactly what I aimed for.   

"Why do you hate Forrest so much?" Aubrey asked curiously, crossing her thin arms.

I exhaled fast, frustrated with her naïvety. It was right in front of her face, the answer, but she was too blind to see it. I didn't understand how she could be so selfless- so kind to others when all they did was ignore her. 

"He's a dick," I replied. Her eyes got wide, reminding me of the cartoons I used to watch as a kid. I laughed, getting fonder of the girl little by little. I was glad to have her as a friend. 

"Those are really bad words to call someone!" she said, her finger moving up and down in disapproval.

I shrugged,taking note to not swear as much when I'm around her. "So did you come here just to nag me, or did you have a purpose?" I questioned, my curiosity getting the best of me.

"There's a campfire tonight, you know," she replied slowly. "And you're like, the only person who is nice to me here. I think we can be good friends because you're fun." She took a deep breath, gazing at me expectantly. 

"You want me to go with you," I said, more like a statement than an actual question.

She nodded, and for a second I was worried she would break her neck or something. "Not like a date though," she said, "Don't get me wrong, you're really handsome and all but-" 

I chuckled, remembering the counselor from the session. "I feel you, Sunny." 

"And there'll be s'mores!" She climbed off the bed, nearly tripping in the process. She was a clumsy one. 

I followed suit, walking to my suitcase I had yet to unpack. I pulled the sleeve of my shirt up to my nose and sniffed, deciding it wasn't a good idea to walk by the camp counselors smelling like smoke. Any other day, I wouldn't care, but I didn't want to leave Aubrey by herself. 

"I need to change my shirt," I said, digging through all the unfolded clothes in my suitcase. I pulled out some random tee and set it down to undress. 

"Don't worry," Aubrey said, putting dainty hands over her eyes and turned in the opposite direction. "I'm not a pervert or anything." 

"You can look," I said in disbelief, pulling my shirt over my head. The cold air hit my skin, making my hairs go on end. "It's just my chest. It's not like I'm going to pull out my prizes." 

She kept her eyes shut tight. I slid my other shirt on, attempting to guess what she could possibly be thinking of. "What are prizes?" She asked suddenly, catching me off guard as I straightened out my tee. 

"Never mind." I laughed, patting her on the back. "You'll understand when you're older." 

I'm not sure if she caught the fact that we're exactly the same age.