Daddy's Little Princess

I sighed as I looked in the mirror, hands fumbling with the damn tie that refused to cooperate with me. You’d think by now I would have the hang of this kind of thing down, given I’m almost 30, but no. As I stand in the full length mirror, I can’t help but study my reflection and ponder how much I had changed physically in the past years. Although everyone says I haven’t changed that much, I still felt old. Perhaps it was because I felt more wiser than anything, but to each his own. I still consider myself an old fart and surely a gray hair would pop up soon, knock on wood.

“You look…distinguished.” a soft voice said as I turned my head slightly to see my wife leaning against the doorframe, a smile spreading across her still fresh radiant face. Time had been a little more favorable to her.

“I feel like I’m 17 again with Isabella.” I couldn’t help but mumble. The last time I was dressed so properly, I was taking the place of my absentee father…again. I was playing the dad role to my sister Isabella, and even now I still play that role. Not that I would ever resent that because I love my little sister dearly, I just regret that my father hadn’t been around more to do those things with my little sister. I taught her how to ride her first bike, I was there when the first jerk off broke her heart, and I was even one to give her away at her wedding last Spring.

Looking back on it, I was a dad before I even became a real one. Taking care of my three siblings wasn’t a choice, it was a given. When my parents slugged it out in their divorce, I played therapist and comforter.

“Now you’re 40, how time flies.” she mocked me as I discreetly lifted my hand up and folded down 4 of my fingers, leading the middle standing up as she snickered before walking over to me. Her slender hands reached out and she began to smooth the wrinkles out of my suit and fix my tie.

“You know I still remember having this conversation with you when we’re 18. You said you wanted to do this with your own daughter like you did Isabella.” Gia commented while it was my turn to give a soft smile.

“I always come through with my promises, don’t I?” I replied, my smile forming into a smirk while she just rolled her big brown eyes before grinning and standing up on the tips of her toes to kiss me.

“Always.” she agreed before lifting my hand up to look at my watch.

“It’s almost time, I think I should go get Phoebe.” Gia informed as I nodded and began to search for my car keys.

“I’ll be out in a minute.” I told her as she nodded back, walking to the door before she turned slightly.

“Hey babe?”

“Yeah?”

“You know she’s going to always remember this.” I smiled before grabbing my wallet and walking over the door before kissing her cheek.

“That’s the idea.” I replied before both of us had walked out of the room and downstairs where I could hear Phoebe singing to herself, the song she’s been singing every day for a week straight, compliments of the new pop-boy band she discovered. What was it…One Selection? One Rejection? Ah, whatever it was, she wouldn’t stop going gaga over it. As much as I loved my daughter and her creative tendencies, I couldn’t help but wish she applied those tendencies to her musical preferences, but maybe in time that would change. After all, I couldn’t make a 10 year old sit and listen to Nirvana.

“Phoebe? Are you ready?” Gia called up the stairs before the sound of little feet scuffed against the hardwood floor.

“I’m coming mommy! I need your help with my hair pleeeeease!” she whined as Gia sighed before giving me a look and jogging up the stairs while I smiled and looked at my phone. A moment of nostalgia hit me as the screen saver had been an image of Phoebe when she was merely a week old. Barely brought into the world, so innocent. Suddenly 10 years had gone by and now she no longer needed me to hold her hand while she walked.

“Caden? Caden?” Gia called me to as I snapped my head up out of my trance and turned my head to my wife who was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, a confused expression etched on her face.

“Are you okay?” she inquired concerned while I nodded.

“I’m fine, I just got lost in my thoughts.” I explained while she shrugged.

“Well, I’d like to take this opportunity to have the honor of welcoming Miss Phoebe!” Gia cried enthusiastically as my eyes gazed towards the stairs where slowly a small pair of black tights donning matching Mary Jane’s came down the stairs. Soon the little legs revealed Phoebe, wearing a sparkly purple dress with black stitching that made up a pattern of black flowers. A big black ribbon bow tied around her waist. Her long ebony black hair was curled and put up into an up do, little curls framed her heart shaped face.

“Oh my.” I smiled at my daughter and gave her the satisfaction of feeling like a princess, cause in my eyes, she was one.

“Do you like my dress?” she inquired with nervous eyes as I laughed and walked over to her before picking up her hand and kissing it.

“It’s perfect Phoebe.” I assured her as she smiled showing off one of her missing teeth.

“I want you both to have a good time all right?” Gia told us as she slid the small matching purple sweater on Phoebe who beamed happily.

“We’ll be back later.” I replied as she nodded and kissed Phoebe and I before I turned to Phoebe and held out.

“Miss Phoebe, may I allow myself to escort you to your ball?” I asked her as she only nodded eagerly.

“Yes daddy.”
_____

I felt like I was back at prom with the way school gym was decorated in a variety of colored streamers and posters. The other dads chattered around the refreshment table while the little girls talked amongst themselves and giggled happily, simply talking about the latest doll coming out. In a way I envied those moments of true innocence where girls only talked about toys, not boys. I wasn’t sure how I’d be able to watch those conversations turn into a matter of who has the hottest boyfriend or whatever it was that teenager girls now talk about. I only really wanted Phoebe to hang on to her childhood like I had foolishly abandoned mine.

I hadn’t even noticed Phoebe standing there looking at me. “Phoebe, what are you doing here?” I asked surprised.

“I wanted to sit with you daddy.” she explained as I raised my eyebrow.

“You don’t want to sit and talk with your friends?” I tried to encourage. Phoebe just shook her head.

“I want to sit next you dad, can I?” she repeated while a smile spread across my face before I nodded.

“Yes, sweetie. I’d like that very much.” I replied. But as Phoebe went to sit down in the chair next to me, a woman’s voice filled the air.

“Welcome fathers to the annual father daughter dance. I’m assuming you all are having a good time. Right about now is where we start our actual dance. So fathers, if you would please accompany your daughters for a dance.” the plump brunette woman flashed a toothy grin while all the fathers had graciously taken their daughters by the hand and lead them to the middle of the ‘dance’ floor. I turned to Phoebe before standing up and bowing, hand extending outwards toward her while she giggled and accepted. I brought her near the middle and took her small hand in mine when a frown appeared on her porcelain face as she watched the other little girls slowly twirl.

“I don’t know how to dance.” she lamented while I just smiled.

“Never fear. It’s real easy, I’ll show you.” I assured her before grabbing her waist and picking her up as her feet stood on mine. She gasped a bit and smiled and held onto my hand while I began to slowly move back and forward as ‘Ready, Set, Don’t go’ began to play through the speakers.

“See? Easy.” I scoffed as she giggled.

“I don’t think this is how you do it daddy.”

“There’s no real way to do it though, you do it how you want to do it.”

“Oh…” she replied as I laughed lightly.

“Daddy, when I’m older do you think I’ll be pretty?” Phoebe asked thoughtfully as I looked at her funny.

“Of course Phoebe, why would you ask such a thing?”

“Cause you said mommy’s a princess, that must make you a prince wouldn’t it, and all princesses are pretty. I want to be a princess.” she explained while I could only look at my daughter, my flesh and blood, a reminder of how life gets better as you go on. I only lowered my head to look at her closely as I shook my head.

“But you see Phoebe, you’re already a princess. You’re daddy’s princess.” I explained to her.

“Do you mean it dad?” she asked softly. I simply smiled and nodded back at her.

“I’ll always mean it. Some day, hopefully not too soon, you’ll find a prince that’s worth of you. But no matter what, always know you’re a princess to me, and no one could ever change that.”

“Thank you dad.”

“You’re welcome sweetheart. But Phoebe just know that when you grow up, take your time okay? Don’t be in a rush to become an adult like I did. Enjoy your time.” I told her earnestly, vaguely aware she might not have completely understood how much I meant it.

“Okay daddy.” she simply replied while I just sighed to myself and smiled, not wanting to admit to myself one day this princess wouldn’t be mine anymore…
___

The car slowly pulled to a halt into the sleek and smooth concrete driveway. The porch light was on, allowing me to see the pathway that led to the house. I looked behind my shoulder and had seen that Phoebe was dead asleep. A small smile spread across my face as I turned off the car lights and quietly got out of the car before opening the back door and unbuckling the seat belt.

I guess the princess danced herself out. I thought to myself in amusement as I gently picked her small form up and laid her against my shoulder. A small protest escaped her lips but after some quick murmurs of comfort, she remained asleep. I carried her to the front door of the house and positioned the house key into the lock. Skillfully twisting the key while still holding Phoebe, I managed to unlock the door. The warmth of the living room automatically welcomed me with open arms while I shut the door quietly. As I made my way to the staircase, footsteps came out of the kitchen.

“Hey.” Gia said quietly with a soft smile.

“Hey babe.” I replied equally.

“How did it go?” she questioned as I motioned to Phoebe knocked out in my arms.

“She danced her little feet off.” I replied as Gia giggled lightly.

“I take it she had fun?”

“Very.” I whispered before turning around and carrying Phoebe up the stairs to her room. I pulled back the blue duvet and laid her down momentarily before walking to her drawer and picking out a matching set of pajamas. I took off her Mary Jane’s and changed her out of dress and into her pajamas. When she looked bedtime ready, I pulled the duvet up to her ribs. I studied her sleeping form and for some reason I felt like I was back home in the exact same situation, only that time I was tucking Isabella in. It was amazing how something like a dance could mean so much to a little girl. I guess I figured if it was important to Isabella, it would be just as important to Phoebe.

Recalling her smile and how much she seemed to enjoy me twirling her around the floor, I had to say I felt rather proud to have shared that moment with Isabella, and now my own daughter. I could just only hope I’d be fortunate enough to have more of these moments with her. I leaned down gently to smooth the hair away from her face and kissed her head.

“Remember, you’ll always be my princess.”

She's at the startin' line of the rest of her life
As ready as she's ever been
Got the hunger and the stars in her eyes
The prize is hers to win
She's waitin' on my blessings before she hits that
open road
Baby get ready
Get set
Don't go