Abbey's Road

Abbey sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror. Her disease had whittled her away; she was hardly more than skin and bones. The only part of her that remained physically the same were her wide hips - even the sparkle in her eyes had gone - but that was because she had yet to hear of a disease that could eat bone the way it ate fat. Her eyes traveled naturally to her concave stomach, and Abbey couldn't help but think that if she had made a different decision all those months ago, her stomach might be full and round with Zacky's child.

With an angry huff, Abbey tore herself away from the mirror. There was no sense in dwelling on the past. The mistake had been made, the punishment dealt, and now Abbey would paying for it. Deciding that she needed to get on with the day while she had a bit of energy, Abbey moved to her suitcase to try and find something clean to wear, but couldn't.

I'll have to visit a laundromat soon, she thought.

Eventually, she found something to wear- a loose pair of jeans and an old, oversized sweatshirt of Zack's - and ran a brush through her greasy hair. A shower would be needed rather soon as well if Abbey could muster up the energy. At the very least, she would need a bath. Once she felt presentable, Abbey sat down on her bed and wasn't surprised when her muscles seemed to sigh with relief as she relaxed. Abbey still had a bit of time before she had to go and catch her plane, so she decided to lay down for a bit and rest her weary bones.

But I can't fall asleep, she told herself.

Things just didn't seem to be agreeing with Abbey lately, because it wasn't long before Abbey was thrust from sleep by the sound of her phone ringing on the nightstand. She shot up in panic, ignoring the screaming and protests from her muscles. Her eyes went to the alarm clock and seeing that she only had twenty minutes to catch her plane, got out of bed and flew around the room as best she could, gathering up a few straggling belongings and tidying up the room.

On the nightstand, her phone fell silent almost immediately began spewing music again. Abbey let out a growl of frustration. Who on Earth wanted to get ahold of her this badly? Abbey went to her phone and declined the incoming call when she saw that it was from Zacky. Hadn't he learned by now that Abbey couldn't speak to him, no matter how many times he called? It just made things so much harder for her, constantly being reminded of the distance she'd put between them.

An alert flashed on the screen, telling Abbey that she had new voicemails. She knew they were from Zacky, and she almost considered just deleting them, but some small part of her was telling her that she needed to hear what Zacky had to say.

Abbey? Abbey, please answer the phone. It's important. Just call me back. Please.

Alright, I-I understand that you don't wanna talk to me. I didn't wanna have to tell you this through a voicemail, but it looks like I don't have a choice. Abbey, Jimmy is dead. He died early yesterday morning. I don't know if you care or if you're even listening to this, but I felt like I should call you. His funeral is January sixth, if you'd like to know that, too.

The beep that sounded told Abbey that the voicemail had ended, but she barely noticed. Of all the things she had expected to hear from Zacky, that was not one of them. Jimmy was dead? How could that be? Jimmy was the most vibrant person Abbey had ever known, soaring through life like a shooting star across the sky. How had this bright life been snuffed out so easily, so soon?

The tears came a bit stronger than Abbey anticipated; her frail body racked with sobs. Despite the fact that it was her choice to walk away, Jimmy was still one of Abbey's oldest and dearest friends, and hearing that he had died was like having a piece of her soul ripped away. It was nearly as bad as losing Zacky, if only because losing Jimmy felt so terribly sudden.

Abbey laid back down in her bed, the worry about catching her plane forgotten. She couldn't just continue on now, not knowing that Jimmy's body was being laid to rest hundreds of miles away in California. But how could she go back and see them all again, when she had been trying so hard to get away? She would see Zack and her heart would cave; she would go running back into his arms and everything she had done these past few months would be for naught.

But I have to say goodbye to Jimmy, Abbey thought grimly.



Abbey arrived in California late at night on January the fifth. Since she'd last been here, Abbey had changed, both physically and mentally. She'd lost nearly twenty pounds, dark circles hung under her eyes, and her skin was pale and translucent. Her sickness showed. Mentally, she was quieter now, more introverted. A far cry from the boisterous southern girl she'd been before. And when Abbey left California for the second time, she would be changed again; she would be leaving behind a part of her she could never have back, a dear friend and brother who had gone on home far too soon.

It felt odd staying in a hotel when her own home was so close. But she very well couldn't go running back there - running back to Zacky - when she'd put so much effort into staying away. So Abbey checked into a Best Western, feeling more lonely and homesick than she had when she'd boarded that first train.

Suddenly Abbey yawned. The stress of Jimmy's death combined with the unplanned flight to California had left Abbey exhausted and sore. Without unpacking even her toothbrush, Abbey laid down in the hotel bed and fell into a fitful sleep.

When she opened her eyes, Abbey found herself sitting in a strange, all-white room. She looked around, saw the containers of needles and cotton swabs, noticed the wax paper that she sat on, and she realized that she was in an exam room. But why all white? she thought. Suddenly the door opened and into the room stepped Jimmy, dressed in doctor's garbs. After closer examination, Abbey noticed that it was that silly 'Doctor of Love' costume he'd worn for Halloween one year.

"Hi, Abbey," he greeted softly, offering a small smile.

"Y-You're dead," Abbey blurted. Her hand flew to her mouth, but Jimmy only laughed.

"Yeah, I am," Jimmy replied. "But you're not, Abbey," he added, meeting her gaze. That had been her next question. "Not yet. You still have time to right your wrongs."

"I haven't done anything wrong!" Abbey exclaimed. "I didn't ask for any of this to happen."

"No, you didn't," Jimmy agreed. "But you're not as innocent as you might think." Jimmy reached a lanky arm out and touched his fingertips to the spot above her heart, and Abbey's eyes widened when he pulled away with a glowing, stringy thing pinched between his fingertips. Noticing the look of shock on her face, Jimmy said, "I'm dead, remember? I can do shit like this. Plus you're dreaming."

"Is that memory?" Abbey questioned, gesturing at the substance that Jimmy was now shaping into a sphere.

Jimmy shrugged. "Kinda. More like a window. Just watch." He held the ball closer to Abbey and as she looked on, a murky image of Zacky appeared. He sat in their bedroom, head bent down, and Abbey could see that he was shaking. His hurt and grief washed over Abbey like a tidal wave, and she gasped. It felt as if her heart were being ripped from her chest as she watched the man she loved cry. "Now do you see?" Jimmy asked.

Abbey knew what Jimmy was trying to say. Yes, the decision to leave had been hers and hers alone, and she knew that she'd hurt Zacky. She regretted it every day. "I didn't have a choice," she whispered, not daring to look into the judging crystal blue eyes that seemed to see down to her very soul.

"Yes, you did," Jimmy corrected. His voice harbored a note of harshness. "You could've stayed."

"I wasn't going to let him watch me waste away!" Abbey shrieked, turning her furious gaze up at the dead man sitting in front of her. The accusation in his eyes was unwavering. "I loved him too much to let him watch me suffer while he could do nothing."

"So instead you chose to walk away and make him wonder what on Earth he'd done to chase you away?" Jimmy hissed. Abbey opened her mouth to respond, but Jimmy spoke again. "You have no idea what you've put Zacky through. You weren't there to see him cry over you. You weren't there to see him drink himself into a stupor night after night, trying to drown his pain. In trying to save yourself, you caused Zacky an insurmountable amount of pain. And don't kid yourself, Abbey," Jimmy added, his voice uncharacteristically low and dark. The anger that he'd refused to let show in life now flowed through him in death. "It was never about not wanting Zacky to helplessly watch you die. You just didn't want to spend your last months in a hospital bed dying slowly, going through agonizing treatments, something you know Zacky would make you do. You're selfish, Abbey."

"I am not," Abbey whispered.

Jimmy moved away, placed his hand on the doorknob. "Just wait, Abbey," he said, his voice soft and low. "When you experience your final moments of life, you'll wish you had Zacky there beside you." He paused as he opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. "Now wake up. You're gonna miss my funeral." With this, Jimmy turned and slammed the door.

Abbey shot awake, her muscles screaming in protest at the abrupt movement. Her alarm was going off, and with a shaky hand, Abbey reached over to turn it off. That dream had felt so real. She half expected there to be a mark on her chest where Jimmy had touched her. Abbey stretched the neck of her shirt down to check and immediately felt silly. Jimmy was dead. He was being buried today. He couldn't leave a mark on her.

Not a physical one, at least, she thought, looking at her still shaking hands.

Sliding out of bed, Abbey crawled over to her suitcase. She felt weak, shaken. Any other day, Abbey would've canceled her plans and stayed in bed. But Jimmy's funeral was something she couldn't miss. Abbey hadn't planned for a funeral though, so a dark blue dress and cardigan would have to do. She scooped her limp hair into a low bun and put on a pair of sunglasses - a pair that she'd ironically stolen from Jimmy years ago - before leaving for the Huntington Beach cemetery.

It wasn't hard to find; she and the boys of Avenged Sevenfold spent many of their troublesome teenage days here. She smiled as she recalled the numerous occasions when the older boys had sent poor Johnny running scared from the cemetery. Now they would all be here together again, but they would be leaving one of their own behind.

"Just think," Jimmy said, slinging his arms around the shoulders of Abbey and Zacky. "In sixty years when we're all old as fuck, we'll still be coming out here to this cemetery to dick around."

"And we'll still be scaring the shit out of 'ole Johnny boy," Brian put in, nudging the youngest boy.

"You'll feel bad when that gives me a heart attack," Johnny grumbled. Everyone else just laughed.

"Avenged Sevenfold, together forever!" Jimmy shouted into the crisp November air, raising a fist and a beer to the sky. "Oh, and Abbey," he added, winking in her direction. "Avenged Sevenfold and Abbey together forever!"

"Forever!" came the unison chant.

Zacky took Abbey's hand and looked directly into her eyes as he whispered, "Forever and ever." Around them, their friends clinked their beers and howled at the moon.

"Together forever," Abbey breathed. She looked on from her vantage point a distance away as Jimmy's coffin was lowered into the ground. Standing to the side near the others she spotted Zacky, his head hung low as he offered a final goodbye to his dear friend.

I suppose forever has ended.