Daddy's Home

About 3 weeks had passed. My dad was busy those three weeks working out where he was going and when he was going. He was leaving in three weeks. He was going back… again… and we don’t know for how long.
I was sitting on my couch and I saw my dad come in from his room across from the dining room. I loved the fact that my room was the only thing up the stairs… No other way in or out, so I always knew when someone was up there. I saw him holding a packet of papers that he was filing out. He grabbed his keys from the basket and left. No word from his mouth, and left.
I sighed and turned around on the couch and watched my Beastie Boys concert on Pallidia.
I heard the back door open and I knew It was either George or Adam. We’ve established that they get both houses… they don’t have to stay in their house.
“Hey.” Adam greeted me as he walked into the kitchen to grab a Dr. Pepper. He popped it open and sat next to me on the couch.
“Hi.” I smiled and scooted over a little bit to give him some more room. He looked at the TV and saw the commercial.
“I guess I curse TV’s.”
I chuckled, “What do you mean?”
“As soon as I sat down it turned to commercial.” He laughed.
I shook my head and laughed a little. Then the show came back on and I stretched out and I couldn’t focus on the TV.
I will admit throughout the three weeks I had acquired a liking in Adam. I liked Adam. A lot. I wasn’t going to do anything about it, I mean he was 17 but, that didn’t make a difference.
Sure, I got jealous of when he got a few new friends… 2 of which are girls and two of which who are boys.
So, I guess I wasn’t good enough… again.
“How are things for you?” He asked sincerely.
“Fine. You know, just have’t gotten attached to anything, just to make it easier.” I looked up to see Daniel looking over at me. My blue eyes trying to take in as much of his face as possible. My long brown hair acting as a curtain.
“That’s what I did too. But, I had my older brother living with me when it happened to me the second time… I had some support while my mom was working to help… you know that problem. “
I sighed and looked down at my finger nails, painted a dark purple. I thought of my sister, she was so busy with her son and her husband… she had stuff to keep her mind off of things.
“It’ll all be okay. I promise.” He then put his arm around me for a quick hug. And I’d love to say I was frozen in place and I stopped breathing but, instead I said thanks and hugged him back, like a normal person.
For the rest of the hour we sat on the couch and watched the concert. We talked a few times about how awesome the Beastie Boys were… but, that was it. Then he got up and threw his can away and then stopped.
“Ok, well, I’ve got some plans with the guys… I’ll see you tonight.” He then walked out the door. Then as the screen door of the back door closed the screen of the front door opened. My dad walked in with a phone to his ear.
“Is there anyway we can push the date back. I would love to spend time with my family… I know we’re low on people out there but, I’d been gone for 3 YEARS Bob. But… Ok. Fine. Bye.”
“Hi dad.” I smiled at him as he set his keys on the table.
“Hi hun.” He said and looked over at me, set down his mound of paper and almost ran into the office. I slowly got up and trudged up to my room. I got out a new notebook and I started writing.

Dear Diary,
Im going to start writing these entries again… im starting before he’s even left. Hes never here, he never pays attention to me. I’ve given up on having a relationship with my dad. He’s just a

I stopped. Im done with this. I ripped the page out of the notebook, grabbed all of my old notebooks and I went outside to the back yard… or the side yard and I went to the fire pit, I gabbed the lighter, started a fire. I ripped out the first page of the first notebook. The second, the third, until A strong arm stopped me from throwing any more in. The pile of about 25 notebooks was knocked over. I looked up to see Adam, with a terrified look on his face.
“WHAT are you doing?” He yelled.
“Im burning my notebooks.”
“Your diary entries? From while your dad was in the war?!”
“Yeah. I don’t want them anymore. They mean nothing to me. Like my dad.”
“Sarah… When you told me about these you said how proud you were of them, never missing a day…”
“I don’t care.” I threw in another page. He stopped me again.
“Sarah…”
“Stop! It’s my choice. My dad doesn’t care about me so I don’t care about him either.” I threw in the whole entire notebook this time. Adam stopped when he saw the tear escape from my eye and he backed away.
“Im sorry.” He whispered and jogged to the cottage.
I slowly reached for the next notebook and I threw it in the fire and I watched at the orange flames bursted out into the air. I watched the pages slowly turn to a black ash and then I threw in the next one. Then the next one. Until the pile was gone and my face was covered in tears.
I looked at the black pit and I could still see my words…

Will I ever love him the same?