Daddy's Home

That night I didn’t come down from my room. I didn’t eat dinner. No matter who came to my door. But then after hours of sobs and tears falling from my eyes, there was a knock on my door. The knock I never expected.
My dad.

“Sarah, Please.” He knocked. When I didn’t answer I heard him sit down and lean up against my door. “Adam told me.” He sighed. I could hear his voice shaking.
I then started to silently cry again. My eyeliner completely gone and mascara all over my face.
“You wrote diary entries? Every day?” He asked and when I didn’t answer he just sighed. “I don’t know why you burned them. I realize how much I’ve hurt you…” He stopped. He cleared his throat and continued. “ I know you’ve grown up without a dad Sarah. I know… I wish I could change things. I wish I wasn’t leaving again. I only have three days left with you. I want to everything I can to make things up to you.” His already shaking voice began pleading for me. Begging.
“Sarah. I can’t loose anymore time with you.”

Those eight words broke me.

He can’t loose anymore time with me? I’ve given up on him. I don’t think I’ll ever have a relationship with him. I couldn’t keep my cries to myself anymore and I squealed. My voice finally escaping my clenched throat. My eyes closed and I collapsed on my bed. My hair clinged onto my cheeks like my soul clinging to my body.
“Sarah! Let me in!” My dad yelled into my door. I ignored him and I crawled under my blanket. Every breath I took a new sound came out. Then I heard the doorknob move and It swung open. My dad stood in the door way for a second and breathed.
“Sarah…” He closed his eyes and walked over to my bed and held me. I cried into his shoulder. It was like crying into a strangers arm only for the comfort.

§§§§

That morning memories of the previous night flowed into my mind and I couldn’t shake them out. I quickly got into the shower and Washed my face that was covered in black makeup. I couldn’t believe I completely cracked like I did.

I tip toed down the stairs to the kitchen to get a glass of water after getting dressed. No one seemed to be up except my dad who was sitting at the nook reading a newspaper from two days ago. I was so tired and groggy, I almost didn’t want to talk to him. After an awkward conversation about the weather, he told me to go get ready completely.
I met him after brushing my teeth and applying some eyeliner. When I asked im what we were doing he wouldn’t tell me and just led me to his Ford F-150. He got into the drivers seat and roared the truck to life. After a long car ride he brought me to a lake where he said he went fishing as a kid. He pulled out two fishing poles from the back. We went to sit at the edge of the dock.

We fished for hours.

We talked about the last three years. We talked about school and my mom and… boys. He needed that information. I laughed when I told him about my ex boyfriend and he freaked out about it.
Then we talked about Adam. He told me that he wanted me and Adam to become friends. He told me he wanted me to be there for him while George was gone for his third time. He also told me to watch over my mom… if I could.
Then I told him all about my diary entries. I realized how stupid it was that I had burned them. I saved a hard copy of all of then on my laptop. Then he told me tht he wanted me to send him a new diary entry every day and he wasted an old one too.
One old and one new. I promised and we headed home.

The next day I woke up to a phone ringtone I didn’t recognize. I looked up to see a new iphone on my desk. I picked it up and my dad was on the other line from downstairs saying I liked it. I laughed at him. Then I realized he was leaving tomorrow. A week before my birthday and I knew why he gave it to me today. Exactly a week before my birthday. He wasn’t going to be there for it again. I sighed and went downstairs. Apparently we were all going out on a roadtrip of Northern California, where I lived.

After getting completely lost we made it back home after 8 hours of driving and then we sat down at the dinner table to eat the Chipotle we picked up on our way back. I took a bite into my vegetarian burrito. Then my mom started to talk.
“Okay, I really didn’t want to bring this up. But, Sarah, while your dad is gone, we decided that you get his truck.”
Normal sixteen year old girls would be happy but, considering the circumstances I wasn’t exactly giddy. Instead I took a big bite of burrito and nodded.

“We’ll also be buying the land next to us.” My dad piped up. “It’s actually going to be a surprised for you when it’s over.” He smiled. Again I took a bite of burrito and nodded.
Afterward dinner I went into my room and set my alarm for 7am. I needed to be up for when my parents went to the airport so I could say goodbye to dad.
I grabbed my laptop and logged into Skype and I talked to Melissa who was actually in the Bahamas right now. We talked about my dad leaving. It was sad. But I was okay with it and then my other best friend Anna came online and invited me to her house tomorrow afternoon and we decided we’d got to my house so we could go to the beach.
Then I went to bed but an hour later I was woken up by stones at my window. I opened the window to see a figure on the ground. I tried to focus my eyes and I saw who it was. It was Brandon. My ex boyfriend. So I closed my window and curtains and went to bed. I slept until my alarm went off and I ran down stairs to see my family and the Rickson’s running around. Every one was preparing for the leave. I found out that Adam and I didn’t have to go but, just say good bye now. They were also stopping at Josie’s to say goodbye too.
At 7:30 I walked up to my dad. I looked up at his brown hair and his bright green eyes and I smiled. I stepped closer and gave him a hug and a kiss.
“Promise me you’ll be good. That means no boys.” He smiled. I yelled “dad!” and slapped his chest playfully and then he bent down and whispered “Unless it’s Adam.”
“Dad!” I rolled my eyes and a tear escaped. I wiped away and he pulled me into a hug. We stood like that for about a minute and then he looked at my eyes with tears in his and said, “You have to promise me you’ll send me those entries.”
“I promise.”
Then he kissed my cheek and grabbed his camouflage bags that blended into his camouflage uniform. He got to the screen door in the front and then he stopped and looked at me one last time and smiled. I watched as his figure left the house once again and I heard my mom’s SUV start up and I listened as the car rolled off the pavemented driveway to the rocky road. I listened as the wheels rolled my dad away for what would seen like an eternity of another life.