When You See My Friends

"How are you, Spence?" Ashley asked her as they spoke on the phone.

"Fine," Spencer answered automatically, momentarily forgetting she was talking to Ashley. She sighed. "Ash, I'm losing my mind."

He sighed, torn between what to do. Spencer had begged him not to tell Andy about their conversations. And he made her a deal; if he didn't, she'd make sure to talk to him when she gets depressed. But Andy would be so pissed if he found out about their conversations. Andy always complained about how he felt Spencer never opened up to him and anybody could tell how much it bothered him. "You haven't... you haven't, uh... yeah, lately. Right?"

Spencer laughed. It amazed her how nobody could ever say the words."No, I haven't cut myself recently," she lied. She couldn't tell Ashley about that. That was part of the rules; if he had to go behind Andy's back to talk to her, she would stopped cutting, answer him honestly if she did and if she does, Andy finds out.

"Good," he said. Ashley looked out the window of the tour bus, where Andy was standing outside, smoking a cigarette. He saw him looking angrily at his phone, clutching it tightly in his hand. "Is Andy calling you?"

"Have you heard a beep?" she asked, avoiding the question.

"What about your cell phone?" he asked. Spencer always talked to the guys on her house phone, so if Andy called then he wouldn't know she's on the phone with somebody else.

"Maybe..." she trailed.

"God dammit," he cursed quietly. "Spencer, you've gotta answer his calls. He's worried about you. So I'm gonna hang up now and tell Jake, CC and Jeremy not to answer if you call. Talk to Andy, he needs you as much as you need him." Then he hung up.

Every time their conversation ventured to Andy, she always felt guilty. She knew it was terrible to talk to Andy's band mates more than she talked to him; she wasn't stupid. But Andy would most likely blame himself for what's going on with her and it wasn't at all his fault.

So take your hand in mine, it's ours tonight. This is a rebel love song. Hears will sacrif- "Hello?" Spencer answered her cell phone.

"Oh thank god you answered," Andy said, breathing out in relief. Spencer had battled depression for the passed five years and when she didn't answer, he always assumed the worst.

"Andy, I'm a big girl," she said. "You don't need to worry about me."

"But I do, especially when you don't answer you phone," he murmured. "What's up with that?"
She couldn't tell him the truth. He'd get angry at her and that was the last thing she wanted. "I was cooking and I didn't hear my phone," she lied.

"I've been calling you for an hour now. I've been texting you for two," he said a bit slowly. "What's up? Are you okay?"

Spencer was getting so sick of everybody asking her that. She was 19 years old for Christ's sake; she wasn't a little kid! "I'm fine, Andy," she lied in a stern voice.

Andy sighed. He didn't want to fight with her and it seemed like that's all they did anymore. So he quickly diverted the conversation to a lighter subject.

- x o x o x -

"Will somebody answer their phone?" Andy groaned from his bunk, as somebody's annoying beeping ring tone went off. He hardly got any sleep the night before and now that he was finally able to get some, somebody wouldn't answer their damn phone.

Grumbling angrily, he pushed himself off his bunk and followed the noise. It was Ashley's phone. He opened the curtain and saw the bunk empty. He rolled his eyes and grabbed Ashley's phone, ready to take it to wherever the hell he is so he can get some sleep, when the caller ID caught his eye. Spencer Manning. "The hell?" he mumbled, his finger hovering over the answer button. But right before he could click it, it stopped. Andy's curiosity got the best of him and he went to Ashley's recent calls. He had calls from plenty of people but only two names kept recurring.

Ashley's girlfriend, Demi Brinx and Spencer Manning.

Looking at the times and lengths of the calls, Andy quickly realized that Ashley talked to Spencer more than he did. Anger filled his body and he threw Ashley's phone onto his bed before storming to the lounge area. He only found Jake and CC. "About time your ass got up," CC said, chuckling.

"Where's Ashley?" Andy asked them, ignoring CC.

"Um, outside. Why?" Jake asked. Andy ignored the guitarists question as he walked outside and saw Ashley sitting on the ground, smoking.

"What the fuck's going on with you and Spencer?" he snapped, glaring at him.

Ashley raised an eyebrow. "What?" he asked.

"It's very unlikely you didn't hear me, so answer the question," he shot.

"Nothing's going on between us, man. She's yours," he answered, confused at where all this is coming from.

"Then why the fuck do you talk to my girlfriend more than I do?" Andy hissed. Ashley froze.
"Yeah, I saw your phone. She was calling you again a minute ago."

The thought to ask him why he went through his phone crossed Ashley's mind, but he figured it wasn't the time to ask. "It's not what you think," he finally said slowly.

"Then tell me, because it seems like everybody knows what's going on with her except me," Andy said. When he saw the torn expression on Ashley's face, his anger turned to exhausted worry. Andy sat beside him. "What's going on with her? She won't talk to me. And when she does, we argue. I just... I want to know if she's okay."

"She thinks she's alone," Ashley said. "I mean, me and the guys have told her plenty of times that she isn't. We're all a phone call away, including you. And I've tried to get her to talk to you, I swear. She's hardheaded though- you of all people should know that." Andy did know how stubborn his girlfriend was. His known her since he was 7 years old and the passed 4 years they've been dating he's only realized it more. "Spencer says she doesn't want to worry you. I don't know if I believe that, but I haven't got a reason not to. So she confides in me and the guys."

"So.. basically what you're telling me is that Spencer talks to you guys? Without arguments?" he asked. Ashley nods. "Unfuckingbelievable."

"Don't yell at her," he quickly tells Andy. "It sounds like she's really on edge. Yelling could push her over."

"Is she still hurting herself?" Andy asked.

Ashley shook his head. "She swears up and down she doesn't. She hasn't told anybody otherwise," he said.

"I'm gonna go call her," Andy said, standing up.

"Wait, we're back on the road in a half hour. You'll see her tonight. Shouldn't this be a talk you have in person?" he suggested.

Andy knew Ashley was right. He nodded and decided to not call her even just to talk. He didn't want anything to slip out.