Saved

The world is a harsh place, and sometimes I question whether life is even worth it. To someone like me it'd probably be better if I just died in a ditch somewhere. I don't do much of anything that could be considered productive.

I guess I keep pedophiles from molesting other innocent children, but who's to say I'm the only one? In fact, I know that I'm not. My brother and I are in this together, and thousands of others. I guess I'm not really a child anymore, but most people would consider me one. I am young, but I’ve seen too much to be a child, at least in my opinion. I’m fourteen though, so legally I am. It's Josiah that's really the child though. I feel bad for him, knowing how it used to be. When I was his age I didn't even realize what was happening.

It's odd that we're blood brothers because most of the kids here aren't. Granted, there are only six others and we all consider ourselves related, even if it’s not by blood. Experiencing things like this together really makes it impossible not to.

Of course, it makes sense that Josiah and I are related, seeing as our mother is the one in charge of it all. She's just as much of a slut as she forces us to be. Sadly, I find myself enjoying it sometimes as much as I try not to.

Sometimes I wish that someone would find out that our mother sells us, because I get sick of it. There's only one guy that I actually like somewhat. He's a regular customer and comes about once a month. He gives really good tips and I think he might even be sorry for me, although that doesn't make much sense. He's stayed away from Josiah thankfully. The less people with him the better.

Josiah is the one person in the world I will always care about. The other kids will most likely disappear and Josiah and I will be left alone. I don't really know what's going to happen after we get too old for this. Maybe our mother will kill us if she's still around. I don't know, because she's only hit me once when I tried to fight it.

I am constantly torn between killing myself and killing everyone around me. If I killed everyone else then Josiah and I could run off and find something to do with ourselves. But what could we do? The only thing we know is prostitution. So I the other option is kill myself, but then I'd be leaving Josiah here alone, and how could I ever do that? So I’m stuck. All I want is a way out of this place. I know that this isn't the only thing that exists. I went to school for a couple of years when I was younger. My mom had to take me out because they were beginning to suspect. But when I was there I saw that none of the other kids were like me. I don't have to be stuck where I am. I just don't see any way of getting out of my situation.

There are the police, but again, what would happen after they rescued us? Josiah, at least, would have a chance in the world. I’m probably going to be stuck as a prostitute for the rest of my life.

“Jason,” my mother called, “Come down here, we have a special guest for you.”

I closed my eyes for a brief second before hurrying down the stairs. Mother didn’t like it when I was slow. As I leaped off the last stair I came to the feet of my mother and a man I’d never seen before.

“Mr. Bloom has made a very special trip coming to see us, so treat him well please.”

I let out an internal sigh before taking his hand to lead him to one of the rooms. It was odd to have a customer at this time, especially one specifically requesting me.

“I’ll be sending someone else up with you in a few moments,” mother called after us.

That was even odder than this caller. I wondered who it would be. Most likely Violet. Most three-ways I’ve had were with one of the girls.

“Take off your clothes,” he barked, as soon as the door shut behind us. I barely had time to think before I was shoved against a wall. The corner of my eye teared up in pain, but I held it in. I have not once let one of my clients see me cry.

Rushing, I quickly took off my clothes before he could get angry.

“Let’s tie you up.”

I internally groaned as he tied me to the bed. Bondage was not my cup of tea. As he finished confining me, a small knock on the door made him turn his head.

“Looks like our other guest is here,” he grinned.

A tiny hand pushed open the door and a little boy dressed very girly came in. I almost didn’t recognize him. I froze as I realized it was Josiah and a strangled cry escaped my lips. Mother had never made us do it in the same room, and that was so much easier to bear. But now I have to watch my precious little brother, and this rope makes it impossible for me to get away.

It all seemed a little surreal. I barely even registered what was happening until he unclothed my brother. Tears stung at my eyes as his last piece of apparel came off. I could take being raped a million times, but when it came to Josiah I would do anything to stop it.

My heart tore into two when the man pushed into him, but Josiah didn’t even wince. He was so used, that it no longer hurt his tiny body. His small 7-year-old frame looked so tiny in comparison to the man on top of him and I shuddered that there was nothing I could do.

Josiah’s empty eyes were boring into my own the whole time, and I wanted so badly to look away. Something kept me staring at him, helpless and broken. For the last moment, as the old man came all over his chest, he closed his eyes and winced. I know from experience that part always feels the worst for me.

“Suck his dick,” the man said, shoving my brother towards me. I knew he would obey, the consequences of not obeying are far worse than this could ever be.

A strangled cry escaped my lips as the tiny mouth wrapped around me. I vowed never to touch my brother; never to let him be scarred by me.

“Stop! Please, just have sex with me,” I begged the man. I didn’t know why he was so sick and twisted as to find this arousing.

“But look at you, you’ve barely even hardened. I can’t do anything with you until I know you’re satisfied.”

My eyelids closed and I forced myself to forget it was my brother down there. It was just Violet. As soon as I had her in my mind I started to get bigger. A little voice in the back of my head was screaming at me, but I ignored it.

“There! There! I’m hard, just use me already. Please, I want you inside of me so badly,” I screamed. I didn’t want Josiah touching me for one moment longer.

“Maybe I should have your brother fuck you.”

“No! He’s not big enough for me. Only you can satisfy me. Please.” My voice cracked on the last please, but I hoped it wouldn’t matter. So long as Josiah was done for the day.

“I bet his fist would be big enough, we should see if he can fit it all the way in.”

By now tears were streaming down both of my cheeks. I’d never felt so mentally abused before. I could take the physical, and I could take almost anything mental. But when you bring my brother into things, it turns to a new level. I know that he’s the only reason I’m still alive, but after this I don’t know if he’ll even love me anymore.

“Jason, let’s just get it over with.”

That was the most heartbreaking thing. He’s given up. He already knows the rules to abide by, his sexual innocence is corrupted. I know he’s still a little boy who knows nothing about the world. He doesn’t know how to swim or ride a bike or even write. And yet he knows so many things that no 7-year-old should ever be forced to know.

“I’ve changed my mind, I want to see you fuck your brother.”

The man came over and tied my hands behind my back instead of the bed. Frantically, I looked around the room now that I had more chance to escape. The only potential weapons I saw were candles. In fact, if I could set the whole building on fire and get me and Josiah out that would be ideal.

I had no time to think about if my plan would work or not, I had to act. Before the man could tell what was happening I ran across the room and knocked a candle to the floor.

“Josiah, run!” I yelled, struggling to get to the door. We reached it at the same time, but my tied hands were slowing me down. I didn’t know if I would make it out of this alive.

“Listen, forget about me and just run. I’ll meet you outside, ok?”

Josiah didn’t even answer, just took off as fast as he could. I know that he’ll be ok. If only I didn’t have these ties. I start after him, only slowed down, not immobilized. Pure adrenaline pushed me down the flights of stairs and to the main hallway. I heard other people dimly on my way to the door.

I made it out the door and saw Josiah on the sidewalk.

“Jason, drop and roll!” he yelled, and I realized I was on fire. The adrenaline had kept me from feeling it, but now I could feel searing pains all along my backside. Quickly I dropped and put out the fire, but the burns were already horrible.

The last thing I saw before passing out from the pain was Josiah standing over me. I vaguely remember saying, “I love you,” before losing it all together.

I don’t know if I’m going to wake up again, but if I do there won’t be a place for me anyway. I don’t really even care if I live as long as Josiah is ok. He is, after all, the only thing that ever mattered.