Almost Easy

"Hey guys.... I'm sorry." The members of band and crew that were situated around several tables stopped what they were doing and stared at the fidgeting singer. Silence encased the group of friends, all of them thinking similar things, well... except for JB Dizz who decided Matt couldn't possibly have said that so he must be drunker than he thought leading him to conclude he needed more beer if he was still thinking this rationally.

Matt's eyes scanned over the mass of bodies, he knew this would be awkward as fuck but he also knew it had to happen. His eyes fell upon Zack who seemed to be scrutinising him with the upmost intricacy, as their gazes caught, Zack's gaze shifted to the lanky drummer who was still standing by Matt, the guitarist seemed to stare into Jimmy as the two begun a silent conversation of raised eyebrows, shoulders and hands mixed with a few indistinguishable noises and grunts.

Although the bar they were in was alive with partially drunk bodies, rowdy chatter and lively music, the night had ground down to halt for the young men of the Avenged Sevenfold party. Matt wanted to say 'fuck this' and walk the hell outta there but he had promised Jimmy and leaving now would mean he'd never get out of the dog house. If he broke his promise now, Jimmy would dig him a hole, throw him in and leave the shovel juuuuust out of reach... why, well, because he could of course.

Matt figured he needed to grow half a pair and cleared his drying throat, readying himself to speak again, " I'm... uh, I'm sorry guys." All eyes returned to him, mostly glazed with intoxication and a hint of surprise or curiosity. In Zack's case it was just pure anger.

"And what exactly could the mighty M. Shadows possibly be sorry for, huh..." Zack sneered as his intense green-eyed glare scorched into the larger man's hazel eyes, Matt looked away feeling a little silly and if he was honest, a little intimidated. His earlier tough-man persona was rapidly diminishing and the small boy that had been hidden away began to present himself.

What Zack had said was a statement, Matt knew that; the fact that his friend was refusing to call him by his given name proved how pissed he was, it enunciated just how much he hated Matt right now. While apologising was a milestone in itself, it would never be enough for Zack. So the large man sucked his pride and his ego up as far up his backside as was possible and swallowed nervously, as his vision flicked between those present he knew he'd have to share more than he wanted to.

"I... uhm. I'm sorry for everything I’ve done wrong recently, everything I’m doing even. I've been, a dick- no worse than that. Yeah, far worse. I just, y'see... In, in my mind..." Matt pointed to his head as he looked at his friends with wide eyes, he realised he was rambling, he sighed heavily as he met Zack's impatient stare, his arm slowly lowered in unison with his gaze. He swallowed again, fiddling with his fingers he took a few shallow breaths to compose himself, "Val and I broke up. She... She said she couldn't be with me anymore." Technically he figured he wasn't lying, he was just wording it all in a very clever, and sneakily genius way, changing the order of things and missing stuff out but it all happened so it's all true. "I guess, I just took it real fucking bad and as you guys are the one's I'm with all the time... I, kinda... well, you've all seen Brian. I honest to god feel so damn guilty, I didn't realise what I was doing. I've been so damn stressed and I kept it all inside 'til it got this bad. I know this isn't gonna mean much but I really really am so fucking sorry. You've finally got through to me and I want everything to go back to how it was before... minus Val... I, I think I’ve, finally come to terms with that, y'know, we're still friends I guess so it's cool, not too bad really. And... I know it's not gonna be easy or quick but I want you all to know I’m really gonna fucking try. I love you guys; you're all family to me. I don't wanna loose any of you. I don't expect any of you to forgive me straight away but at least let me try..."

Matt had to trail off because he couldn't think of anything else to say and he didn't want to start repeating, he at least wanted to keep an ounce of his pride and not look and sound like a complete pussy or absolute fool. Although no one looked excessively taken to his speech, their gazes had noticeably softened, they all knew Matt truly loved Val but at the end of the day, hearing the mighty M. Shadows apologise was a rarity so they'd lap it up as much as was possible. Matt frowned and wondered what he could do to get them on his side, "... Why don't I start making it up to you all now, huh? What if I said... Drinks are on me... all fucking night!"

A large grin cracked across his face when his offer was met with a roar of cheers, Dan quickly wailed over to the bar tender to bring them a few rounds on tab. As Matt slid onto the worn out cushions of the booth they occupied he prepared himself for the inevitable words of wisdom and advice his mates could conjure. He grimaced slightly, hoping no one pried to deeply when a hand smacking his shoulder brought him to reality. Looking over, he saw JB Dizz smiling warmly at him, his twin mirroring the expression as the first wise words of the night poured from his mouth,

"Forget your girl, man. You're single now, y'can pick up any chick you want, fuck em and ditch em with absolutely no regrets." Jason chuckled and followed on with some much wiser words,

"I hate to say that half-wit is right but... it's true man, you've got no commitments. But, you do know you could have come to any of us and we would have helped out dude. Here, drink up." Jason pushed one of the full beer bottles towards the singer, they knocked bottles and devoured a generous mouthful each, "Last thing I’m saying about it is; I’m glad we've got the old M. back."

------

As the night progressed, Matt saw everyone knocking back copious amounts of alcohol... except him as far as he was concerned. He hadn't managed to shut his mind off enough to contemplate enjoying the evening, despite that he decided it had been a great night so far, something Matt put down to the lack of a certain spiky-haired, nimble-fingered wonder. The bulky male would have gotten so mad at himself if he saw the immense damage he had inflicted on the other man and the bucket full off alcohol in his system would have intensified his rage... in short, Matt agreed it definitely wouldn't have been a good result and would most likely have landed him back at square one. Just because the lean guitarist wasn’t there, however, did not mean that he wasn't on Matt's mind. The truth was far from that assumption.

While the others had been having fun drinking, dancing, grinding, and probably tonguing with random girls, Matt had sat back and attempted to relax but found himself plagued with conflicted thoughts. He noticed Johnny and Jimmy stumbling in his direction, another ditzy blonde in tow. It hadn't escaped his attention that throughout the duration of the night, each man had been presenting him with chick after chick and he couldn't help but think they were trying to hook him up with a girl.

He scoffed, don't they know that's the fucking problem, I don't want a whinny, bleached bitch!

However, as he thought more about that he registered that no... They really didn't. He chuckled lazily to himself once that thought set in and noticed he was being spoken to, Jimmy he vaguely recalled. The already lisp-y voice this tall dark blob owned was slurred almost beyond recognition and Matt had to focus hard to bite back a laugh… Okay, maybe he was drunker than he thought. He peered in front of himself to see the table littered with empty bottles, all close to himself, he was sure the majority of them had been full not three seconds ago. It appeared, as his thoughts were scattered and trapped in the confines of his skull, he had been chugging bottle after bottle.

Slowly glancing up to see three blurs, the muscle lavished singer squinted to focus – which actually only managed to obscure his faulted vision further. A lazy dimple filled smile warmed his external appearance as he heard the innocent slurred tones of one Jonathan Seward,

“I don’ think ‘e heard ya, Jim. He’s fuckin’ wase’ed.” Bellowing laughter erupted through Matt’s ears and tore through his eardrums, a slight grimace quickly devoured his previous smile and he came to realise he felt quite disorientated and sick.

“I ssay it again, man. We foun’ thisss chick for ya.” Jimmy winked over at the petite blonde and even in his currently inebriated state Matt could see small similarities between said ‘chick’ and Val; petite, blonde, brown-eyed, soft-features to name a few, but to see them you'd have to pay close attention and know Val's appearance all too well. They just didn’t get that he wasn’t into that anymore. “She perfect for ya! Eh?”

Matt kicked the single brain cell of coherent sense he had up the ass to ensure he didn’t get stuck with this chick all night,

“Waddaya say Mattie?”

His glace wavered in the direction of the ‘chick’ to see everything that wasn't akin to his former lover. Heavy orange make-up slapped against over-moisturised flesh. Frail almost-see-through fabric stretched to the limit across ample false bosoms. Tarty leopard print skirt hitched so high it could pass as a belt – he hoped she had panties on but he dared not investigate further. Dirty brown, patchy skin marred as a result of an uneven fake tan. Small pale (un-tanned) feet balancing precariously on way-too-high high heels.

In simple terms she was a young, fake, plastic, bimbo. A single word flashed across his mind, disgusting. But of course, she took his analysing stare as want and stuck her chest out further, boobs practically popping out of the skimpy material. He was just waiting for the seams to split and let her silicone-injected flesh pour out for all the men to oogle at and get boners over, she’d probably love it too, fucking slut.

“’M not interested, sorry.” He turned around to face the table grabbing at another beer, he heard her snort of disgust and bit back a laugh; he could do that forever and enjoy the hell out of it. Girls never took rejection well and as he began to wonder how a certain male friend of his might take the same thing he had to laugh because.. Well, who in their right mind would want to reject said friend.

“Hey, helloooooo.” Matt’s head snapped up causing dizziness and a pulsating pressure to swirl around in his brain space. His world slowly focused on a misshaped blob which he decided must have been Jimmy and Johnny, the imbalance of the men’s’ heights caused him to laugh abruptly and as he settled down again he raised what he thought was one eye brow, which actually just raised both and gave him a humorous and unintended look of surprise. “We’re tryna get you laid man! Ev’ry fuckin’ girl we found, ya turn away. What’re you gay or sumfin’? A fuck’in queer!” It took him several whole seconds to realise what the shorter fuzzy mess was saying and as he began to yell out to the whole bar his new proclamation. "Hey everyone, M. fuggin Sha'ows is a queer, he likes takin' it up th'ass!"

Fury raged through Matt's alcohol stream, the thinned blood boiling, he launched himself out of his seat and pounced at the Johnny-like blob. What happened between that and Johnny whinging on the floor was a disorderly blur but he didn't care, as long as that midget fucker was in pain. Matt was huffing heavily through his nose, shoulders and chest heaving with the sheer force of his oxygen intake. His frame was hunched forwards, fists painfully clenched, jaw tightly locked and a deep glare set itself in Johnny's direction.

"Ow." One quiet muttered word fell from the bassists’ lips as he just blinked numbly at a patch of floor. Johnny was shocked to say the least, his drunken state prevented him from fully understanding the recent events, forcing him to be completely at loss when trying to figure out what he did to end up flat on his ass with an intense throb tingling his jawbone. He slowly raised his eyes to meet those belonging to the fist that caused his pain.

"Call me that again, mother fucker, I will knock. You. Out! And what the fuck d'ya mean, 'tryna get me laid', man, i don't need your help, you can have these skanky whores, asshole!" Matt viciously sneered at Johnny who was whimpering as Jimmy dragged him up, the pair nearly stumbling over each other and crumbling in a heap on the unpolished wood flooring.

"O-okay, maybe y'not gay maaan. M'sorry." The singer huffed one final time before spinning on his heel and striding over to the front doors of the bar, leaving his friends even more confused, hurt, angry and betrayed than they had been before the night started. He didn't care, fuck em, he didn't do anything wrong this time... Or at least, that’s what he kept telling himself.

As he stumbled his way back to the bus he loudly declared to the mostly sleeping city that he was thankful for Zack being such a lazy fuck and insisting they go to the nearest bar, why? Well... we honestly don't know so lets just say, cuz he's abso-fricken-lutely wasted. The much-loved and much-hated vocalist thumped into the bus door and considered just passing out right there, but the promise of a dark cozy bunk made him search for his key, patting down every pocket he realised it wasn't there.

"FUCK! SHIT! AND BOLLOCKS! Fucking fuck! My fucking key don't even wanna be aroun' me! Fucking cock-sucking bastards! When I see 'em I’m gonna cut their fuckin' balls off an... an staple 'em to their nipples so those man bitches have fuckin' ti-" The bus door abruptly swung open and as Matt swung around to witness such a miracle happen, he instantly saw the most beautiful thing he'd even seen.

Glancing from the tanned muscular legs up to the prominent plentiful package clad in short, tight black cotton. From the thin, tightly defined stomach to the toned chiseled chest. From the visible collarbone to the messy fuzz of man fur dusted under the otherwise smooth chin. From the perfectly sculpted jawbone to the soft pink lips leading to a rounded button nose. And finally, to those adorable deep mocha eyes that were showing exhaustion, despair, disappointment, fear, defeat, pain and a myriad of other emotion's Matt was all too hammered to even think about noticing. However, what his hazel eyes did notice all too well was that this, everything he was seeing, this was perfection and the tightening in his pants suggested the rest of him fully agreed.

It suddenly occurred to him... he would be alone on the bus with Brian for at least a few more hours, as far as the others were concerned it was way to early to stop drinking. And boy, was Matt thankful. Goddamn, how he wanted to ravish this godly beauty of a man.