Yours Truly

I ran a hand through my loose curls, nearly cursing as my finger became stuck in a tangle, and gave myself another once over in the mirror. The practically see through robe hung loosely around my shoulders, and showed off the rather racy ensemble underneath. I adjusted everything one last time, the clock on the wall telling me Zayn would be back in mere minutes, and went out to the living room. There were a few candles lit, and I pressed play on the sound system to let the music flow through the room.

I pranced into the kitchen and grabbed the wine and glasses I had been chilling. I moved into my position in the middle of the living room, and fidgeted nervously as I waited for him to walk in the door. He was finally back from recording tonight, and after not seeing him for a week and a half, I missed him quite a lot. My nerves skyrocketed as I heard the deadbolt click, and I felt the grin playing at my lips as the door pushed open.

"Welcome home, babe!" I shouted catching him off guard, "I bought your favorite wi-HOLY SHIT LIAM!"

"Valerie! Crap, I'm so sorry Zayn, oh my god," he muttered, smacking a hand over his eyes, "I'll uhm, I'll get that stuff tomorrow."

I watched him blindly find his way out of the apartment, and tugged the robe tighter around my body wishing it would cover more up. Zayn locked the deadbolt, shaking his head at something, and rounded on me swiftly. I blushed, realizing what had just happened, but still sauntered over to place a kiss on his lips. I was millimeters away when he turned his head, making my lips land on his stubble filled cheek. I knitted my eyebrows at him while I pulled back, and stumbled as he pushed by me with his bag. I followed him, trying to ask him what was wrong, and got increasingly frustrated as he ignored me. I kept pestering him as he started unloading his suitcase, and it took me touching his arm for him to talk.

"Why the hell would you let him see you like that? Huh, Valerie?" he asked, his voice full of anger.

"Excuse me? You're the one who invited him over without my knowledge," I said, crossing my arms, "I was just trying to be a good fiancé and surprise you with some wine and welcome home sex. My bad."

"Oh, don't try and guilt trip me into thinking it was my fault," he said, standing up and towering over me, "My best friend just saw almost all of my fiancée’s goodies. And you seem like you could care less right now."

"Niall didn't see me," I scoffed, knowing ultimately it was the wrong time to joke around, "Regardless, it was an accident, you can't honestly be mad at me right now Zayn. He covered his eyes, and left. Just drop it, okay?"

He just rolled his eyes, and disappeared into the bathroom while slamming the door. I let out a frustrated growl as the shower started up. I took the wine and glasses back to the kitchen, turning the music off as I walked by, and blew the candles out angrily. The chocolate covered strawberries I had bought, knowing they were one of Zayn's favorites, were now residing in the trashcan due to a childish moment of anger. I found my way back to the bedroom and threw myself on the bed facedown while pulling the duvet over my body. My head stayed facing the nightstand, studying the roses Zayn had sent me earlier in the week, and ignoring him as he walked from the bathroom. I could hear him shuffling through the closet for pajamas, and finally flipped onto my back.

He avoided my eyes as I watched him, and pretended I wasn’t watching as he slid on his sweats. I sat silently hoping he would approach me first. As luck would have it, I didn’t get my wish. He just finished unpacking, and grabbed his pillow before exiting the room. I gaped at him, finally realizing he was completely angry, and threw the duvet off of my body. I exchanged my lingerie get up for sweats and an old shirt, and stormed out to the living room. He was on the couch, his pillow nowhere in sight, and had the TV playing a random movie. Still filled with childish anger, I stomped over and blocked the TV from his view with my hands on my hips. He rolled his eyes, trying to act like he wasn’t angry, and pushed himself off the couch. I scowled as he walked into the kitchen, emerging seconds later with a glass of the wine I had bought, and stomped over to knock it out of his hand. The glass shattered as soon as it hit the floor, and at that moment I was glad we had hardwood flooring throughout the main room.

“Seriously Val? Grow the fuck up,” he sneered.

“How about you grow the fuck up,” I shouted, jabbing my index finger into his chest, “You’re angry at me for something I had absolutely no control over. Like you think I planned on standing in the flat half naked to welcome not only you, but Liam too. Think about it, Zayn, its stupid.”

“It’s not stupid!” he said, throwing his hands up angrily, “I’m mad because you know the boys show up randomly, and still thought it was okay to be dressed like that. Do I appreciate the gesture? Of course, you looked amazing. I’m just disappointed that you could act so dumb.”

I let out a puff of air, raising my eyebrows at his statement, and raised my hand to slap him. His face contorted, obviously waiting for the blow, but I decided it would be pointless and dropped it instead. He peeked his eye open, and I shook my head at the whole situation. I stepped away from him, careful to avoid the glass littering the ground, and practically ran to the bedroom. My rage became blind, and I grabbed a small bag to pack so I could leave. I sent my mom a text, telling her to expect me later that night, and continued shoving random things into the bag. Much like he had done to me while unpacking, I ignored Zayn as I packed. Most of the clothes I picked were lounge clothes, because I knew I wouldn’t be in shape to go anywhere social once I got to my mom’s place.

“And where the hell do you think you’re going?” Zayn snapped, stopping me from grabbing my phone from the nightstand.

“To my mothers,” I spat, turning towards him, “That way I can be with someone who actually shows that they love me.”

“You know I love you Valerie, don’t even pull that crap with me.”

I mumbled a ‘whatever’ at him, and grabbed my phone as I pushed past him with my bulging bag. My feet had barely crossed the threshold into the hallway, when the sickening crack of glass filled my ears. I immediately knew he had thrown my vase of roses, and shouted an unpleasant phrase back towards him that he reciprocated. My Uggs were sitting near the door, and I hastily shoved them on before plucking up my keys and leaving the flat.

I kept my head down as I walked down the hall, well aware that I had tears falling freely down my face, and was grateful that the lift opened soon after I pressed the button to go down. The garage was void of life, and Zayn was lucky that I didn’t key his car as I got into my own. I cranked up the stereo as soon I started the car, knowing that being alone with my thoughts for the drive could only lead to disaster.

====

My mom had tea waiting when I pulled up to her house just before 11PM, and I fell into her arms as soon as she opened them. She let me cry on her shoulder, something I hadn’t done since I was little, and kept trying to pry out the reason I had shown up at her door so late. I wanted to tell her more than anything, but could only choke out sobs when I opened my mouth. She took that as her queue to give me big hugs, and eventually coaxed me to drink my now lukewarm tea. Once the cup was drained, I placed it onto the coffee table, and dished out everything about the fight I had with Zayn.

“It will all be okay, bear, I promise,” she said, giving me a sad smile, “And I know you think I’m only saying that because you’re my little girl, but I’m not. From the sound of it, you guys had a nasty fight. That’s a good thing, because that means you still have something there worth fighting for.”

“I guess,” I mumbled, wiping at my eyes, “Did I make the wrong choice in storming out? Or, ya know, breaking the wine glass for no real reason?”

“We women always tend to make brash decisions in the heat of the moment when it comes to love,” she said softly, “Now get some sleep. I expect you to swallow your pride, and go home to Zayn in the morning, understood?”

I nodded, giving her one final hug, and pranced up the stairs to my childhood bedroom. It hadn’t changed much since I moved to London with Zayn, and I flopped onto the fresh sheets with a sigh. The frame on the nightstand caught my eye, and I smiled at the picture of Zayn and I from right before the XFactor. We were sitting closely on a couch, and our young faces held smiles that reached our eyes. I thought how much had changed in the past few years, but realized the love we shared hadn’t faltered. My teeth gnawed at my bottom lip as I traced the picture with my fingertips, and I realized my mom had been right.

Zayn and I still had something left to fight for, even if the fights were slowly killing me inside.