The Story Left Untold

By the time Tuesday morning rolled around, I was a bundle of nerves. I woke up before my alarm, something that never happened, and decided to actually get ready before taking Kennedy to school. I took the time to actually straighten my hair, pausing so I could wake Kennedy up at her normal time, and even did a light coating of makeup. I pulled on jeans and a gray long sleeve, adding a scarf to cover the one hickey that was being stubborn and not fading, and rushed down the stairs when Kennedy called for me. She was standing in the foyer, a poptart in her mouth and my keys in her hand, telling me we would be late if we waited any longer. I smiled at her maturity, realizing just how much she had grown up in the past few months, and ushered her out the door so she wouldn’t be late.

“I thought you didn’t have class today,” Kennedy said after a few minutes, sounding confused.

“I don’t,” I said, glancing at her briefly.

“Then why are you dressed like you do?” she asked accusingly, “Normally you just drive me in your pajamas.”

“I’m hanging out with Louis sometime today,” I said turning onto the road the school was on, “I wasn’t sure when he’d call, so I figured I’d be ready just in case.”

“I’m glad he’s back, I missed him,” she said, finally dropping the subject and returning to her poptart.

I pulled into the lot, hopping out, and surprising Kennedy when I told her I’d walk her to class. She gripped onto my hand, something she had been doing since she was little, and tugged me towards the school. I followed her inside, winding down the corridors and around the other children, and stumbled as we reached her door. Standing by her door, the twins hanging onto his hands, was Louis with a goofy smile on his face. Kennedy dropped my hand, almost like it was burning her, and launched herself at Louis with a hug. He greeted her excitedly, lifting her off the ground with a spin, and looked up to connect eyes with me. I gave him a shy smile, one he easily returned, and was given a quick hug by Kennedy as she filed into her room. Louis hugged Daisy and Phoebe tightly, and pushed them towards their doors with a ‘have a good day’ ringing from his lips.

“Fancy seeing you here,” I said as he approached me.

“Figured I wouldn’t waste any time in us catching up,” he said opening the door to outside, “The girls told me you dropped Kennedy off daily, so I had my mum bring me with the girls. I hope that’s okay.”

“I’m just glad I actually got ready then,” I said with a laugh, “So, do you want to talk at our favorite diner, or I could make breakfast at my house?”

“Will you make scones?” he asked, putting on his puppy dog eyes.

I laughed at his expression, telling him I would, and pointed him towards the car as he grinned excitedly. As usual, as soon as I had the car started, he was fiddling with the radio, never letting a song finish. I rolled my eyes, realizing he hadn’t changed in the slightest and listened to him sing along to every song that came on. When we finally got back to my house, he followed me inside like a lost puppy, and hoisted himself onto the counter like he normally did. I told him to get down, something he always ignored, and busied myself with making the scones. We made small talk, trying to avoid any awkward silences, and it wasn’t long until I had the scones in the oven. I poured myself a glass of milk, Louis saying he didn’t want any yet, and leaned against the counter across from him to talk.

“How are you, Payt?” he asked, his voice softer than normal, “And not just right now. I mean in general.”

“I’m holding on,” I said weakly smiling, “Some days, some days are all sunshine, and I am genuinely happy. Other days, which don’t occur as often anymore, are basically massive hurricanes where I want nothing to do with the outside world. Of course, I keep that strong face on for Kennedy, but if I’m alone, it’s tears and blank stares. I feel like I’ve heard so many people say ‘It’ll be okay’ that I figured I may as well pretend it is.

“I just feel numb about it all anymore, and it makes me feel like such a bad daughter. But it’s not like I wanted this life. I didn’t want to be 18 and raising my younger sister, when I still needed my parents as much as she did. It’s just not fair, Lou. Why couldn’t I have been the one who offered to pick up dinner that night? Kennedy would still have her mum and dad, and things would be better.”

“Don’t ever say that, Payton,” Louis said, looking me straight in the eyes, “They didn’t deserve to die, but neither did you.”

I had started crying during my rant, the tears still running down my cheeks, and sniffled as Louis kept his gaze locked onto mine. He hopped off the counter, moving to stand in front of me, and pulled me into a hug that I desperately needed. I wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could; grabbing part of his shirt in hands, and let out the sob I had been holding in. His arms held me just as tight, and he rubbed my back gently to help calm me, but it only made me cry harder. I thought about how much I had needed him when everything happened, and how I fully regretted never calling him. I knew that they had been like second parents to him, and could now only feel selfish at my decision. I finally calmed down, after who knows how long, and jumped back as I smelled the unmistakable smell of burning pastries. I jumped to go grab them from the oven, but Louis told me to stay put, and pulled the blackened scones out of the oven. He tossed them into the bin, and told me to follow him into the living room so we could talk.

“You’ll get through this, Payt, I promise,” he said, pulling me into a side hug, “You’re such a strong girl, and this will only make you stronger. You’re doing everything you can to raise Kennedy right, and with you as a role model she’ll end up being an incredible woman like you. Don’t ever doubt that. Plus, I’ll be here to help you, even if you don’t want me to be.”

“I really do, Lou,” I said, pulling my knees to my chest, “Even though you say I have nothing to be sorry for, I really do. You always said that they were like your second mum and dad, so I know how close you were to them. If you would’ve kept something like that from me, I would’ve never spoken to you again. Yet here you are, letting me cry into your shoulder, letting your heart of gold show again. Thank you.”

He mumbled a quick ‘you’re welcome’, and flipped on the tv while still holding me close to his side. I leaned farther into him, missing all of the times we would cuddle and watch movies, and aimlessly watched the show he had finally settled on. I could feel myself dozing off, the lack of sleep from the night before finally making an appearance, and nearly had a heart attack when the doorbell rang. Louis glanced at me questioningly, almost if to ask if I was expecting someone, and I shrugged, pushing myself off of the couch. I straightened my shirt, and wiped under my eyes, before opening the door to reveal Briley.

“Briley?” I asked, not completely sure I was seeing correctly.

“Hi Payton,” she said happily, “I know it’s probably weird that I showed up, but Kin told me where you lived, and that you had today off, and I was wondering if you wanted to hang out or something. Plus, I didn’t have your number, and I lost my phone last week so I couldn’t have text you even if I did.”

“Oh, no that’s not weird at all,” I said shaking my head with a smile, “I’m actually glad that you wanted to hang out with me after how grumpy I was on Saturday. As for hanging out, I’ll have to reschedule because I have-“

“Briley?” Louis asked, cutting me off and scaring me, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Oh, hey Louis,” she said with a wave, “I was here to see if Payton wanted to hang out.”

I looked between the two, completely bewildered that they knew each other, and stared on as they held a normal conversation. I finally found my voice, piping up and asking how they knew each other.

“Oh, she’s one of Niall’s mates,” Louis said with a smile, “We met her in Ireland, and then she came and visited a few times when we were on X Factor.”

“Small world, huh?” she said, still smiling, “Wait, is this your best friend Payton?”

“Er, yeah,” I said avoiding looking at Louis, “Since primary that is.”

She nodded, a look of knowing crossing her features, and told me she’d talk to me later, before walking back down to her car. I closed the door, still not wanting to look at Louis, and shuffled past him into the living room. I fell onto the couch, reaching my hands up to rub my temples, finally glancing over at Louis who had his eyebrows raised. I smiled sheepishly, knowing that now knew I had told Briley about Friday night, and was glad when he shrugged and turned back to the tv. How had I managed to find the one person in Doncaster that knew Louis personally, and spill out the details of our drunken night together?