The Death Process

Mom Failure

It had been a week since Gerard had passed. I had had several emotional episodes and was excused from school for a month. I wasn’t even allowed to see Gee until his funeral in a few weeks.

My mom burst into my bedroom carrying a tray of food. She wouldn’t let me leave my room in fear I would escape in order to go to the Morgue and see Gerard.

I love him, but I would not want to go out into that snow storm. Jersey was known to have a shit load of snow and today was a shit pile of snow times 100,000,0000.

“So how ya feeling, Frankie?” my mom asked as she set the tray down and sat next to me on my bed.

“I miss him,” I whispered, knowing she could tell who I missed. “I want him back, mom.” I looked up at her and could feel my eyes get blurry. I wanted Gee; all I’ve ever wanted was Gee.

I remembered how one time, at school, his car had broken so we walked the 5 miles to his house. We were holding hands and laughing when suddenly he picked me up and flung me over to his back.

“Gee-rard, what are you doing?” I asked, saying his name weird.

He chuckled and hoisted me up higher on his back before answering, “I don’t want my Frankie having to walk so long. His widdle wegs will get tired.” He made it seem as if he was speaking to a 3 year old me.

“I am no three you know.”

“You’ll always be my little Frankie. Forever and ever you will be mine.”

“You promise?”

“Cross my heart.” I giggled and snuggled closer into his back.

My flashback ended and I was now bawling my eyes out. My mom rubbed my back and kissed my forehead.

“He-he pr-promised. HE FUCKING PROMISED!” I screamed out, my voice still broken.

“What did he promise?”

“That we would be together forever and that he would ne-never leave me.” That came out pretty good, except my voice cracking once.

“I know honey, but he’s in a better place now.” I shot up and starred my mom in shock and horror.

“You mean he wasn’t in a good place here with me?”

“No Frank, what I meant was that-“

She didn’t get to finish her conversation before I got up and ran up to my room, still sobbing. I missed Gerard so much.
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Frerard. My cat ate my earphones. He threw up alot. Only in my room. Awesome.