Status: One-Shot. Comment please?
Say Goodbye To My Heart Tonight
One.
'I kinda wanna be more than friends.' I had told you that after Eliza had broken up with you and you were a mess. I finally admitted my growing feelings for you. I had hoped that you'd either magically like me back or you'd stop talking to me and kick me out of the band. You didn't do either, instead, you did something that shocked me. You ignored what I said and got up and left. You came back later, but you were drunk. After being sober for so long, you went and got drunk. How could you do that? You have no idea how much that hurt the rest of the band. Then you started bringing random people onto the bus and fucked them. It hurt me to hear random people scream your name at night.
Soon after, the rest of the band got tired of your behavior and we forced you to stop and helped you pull yourself together. Then one night, during a show, you walked over to me and kissed me on-stage. That's when Frerard started. I thought that you finally admitted your feeling to me. But you later explained that you 'wanted to piss off homophobes.' It hurt to hear that. But I continued to let you kiss me on-stage. But soon the kisses led to groping and then it started to happen off-stage. I hoped that you'd soon realize that it meant more than just lust. And you did. You said that you loved me and that we would be forever. I was ecstatic, I wanted to tell the whole world. But you said it had to be a secret because we could lose fans if the 'Frerard' thing was real. I was disappointed that I couldn't tell people about us but I was happy that I would have you forever.
I wish someone had told me that nothing is forever.
It was when we joined Projekt Revolution that things went downhill. You were getting paranoid that others knew about us and we would always get in arguments and fights. We even fought on stage. And you broke up with me. About a week after we fought on stage, you took a bite of my heart. You got married with Lindsey. A woman. To make it worse, you barely knew her. Why did you do it? You knew you would hurt me. I even started crying. And all you did was give me an apologetic smile. That stupid bitch you married thought I was crying happy tears.
A few days after you got married, I got back with my ex, Jamia. She knew I love you. But I guess she pitied me, so she got back with me. Six months and six days after you got married, me and Jamia got married. But that was two years ago. Right now I'm at home, alone. Jamia went out to the mall and God knows what you are doing. Maybe you're just watching t.v. Maybe you're out eating dinner. Maybe you're fucking you're wife. Probably not. Yesterday, you announce that your wife is pregnant. You told me first, before your own brother. Sometimes I wonder if you hurt me on purpose, I think you do. I'm afraid, you're never satisfied, you're always looking for another way to hurt me. I don't even wanna bother with life. I won't bother with life. I don't want to live. I won't get out alive, I won't sleep tonight. I'm gonna die tonight.
I quickly sprinted off my couch and went to the bathroom. I opened the top cabinet and started pulling out different containers of medicine. I opened all of them and grabbed multiple different colored pills. I counted the ones in my hand. Thirteen, odd number, but it'll have to do. I left them on the counter and quickly ran back to the living room to get my phone. I quickly called your number.
"Hello?"
"Gera---
"Haha, psych! This is my voice mail. I must be busy right now, I'll call you back when I can. You know what to do." BEEP
"Hey Gerard. I just called to say I love you. I know that you know that I love you more than a friend and that you would never want to be with me because you're to afraid to be yourself but, Either way I love you. No matter what you've said or what you've done to me. I will always love you. I know the band has always been against what I'm about to do but I know you'll be happy when I'm gone. Say goodbye to my heart tonight, because it won't be beating by sunrise."
Soon after, the rest of the band got tired of your behavior and we forced you to stop and helped you pull yourself together. Then one night, during a show, you walked over to me and kissed me on-stage. That's when Frerard started. I thought that you finally admitted your feeling to me. But you later explained that you 'wanted to piss off homophobes.' It hurt to hear that. But I continued to let you kiss me on-stage. But soon the kisses led to groping and then it started to happen off-stage. I hoped that you'd soon realize that it meant more than just lust. And you did. You said that you loved me and that we would be forever. I was ecstatic, I wanted to tell the whole world. But you said it had to be a secret because we could lose fans if the 'Frerard' thing was real. I was disappointed that I couldn't tell people about us but I was happy that I would have you forever.
I wish someone had told me that nothing is forever.
It was when we joined Projekt Revolution that things went downhill. You were getting paranoid that others knew about us and we would always get in arguments and fights. We even fought on stage. And you broke up with me. About a week after we fought on stage, you took a bite of my heart. You got married with Lindsey. A woman. To make it worse, you barely knew her. Why did you do it? You knew you would hurt me. I even started crying. And all you did was give me an apologetic smile. That stupid bitch you married thought I was crying happy tears.
A few days after you got married, I got back with my ex, Jamia. She knew I love you. But I guess she pitied me, so she got back with me. Six months and six days after you got married, me and Jamia got married. But that was two years ago. Right now I'm at home, alone. Jamia went out to the mall and God knows what you are doing. Maybe you're just watching t.v. Maybe you're out eating dinner. Maybe you're fucking you're wife. Probably not. Yesterday, you announce that your wife is pregnant. You told me first, before your own brother. Sometimes I wonder if you hurt me on purpose, I think you do. I'm afraid, you're never satisfied, you're always looking for another way to hurt me. I don't even wanna bother with life. I won't bother with life. I don't want to live. I won't get out alive, I won't sleep tonight. I'm gonna die tonight.
I quickly sprinted off my couch and went to the bathroom. I opened the top cabinet and started pulling out different containers of medicine. I opened all of them and grabbed multiple different colored pills. I counted the ones in my hand. Thirteen, odd number, but it'll have to do. I left them on the counter and quickly ran back to the living room to get my phone. I quickly called your number.
"Hello?"
"Gera---
"Haha, psych! This is my voice mail. I must be busy right now, I'll call you back when I can. You know what to do." BEEP
"Hey Gerard. I just called to say I love you. I know that you know that I love you more than a friend and that you would never want to be with me because you're to afraid to be yourself but, Either way I love you. No matter what you've said or what you've done to me. I will always love you. I know the band has always been against what I'm about to do but I know you'll be happy when I'm gone. Say goodbye to my heart tonight, because it won't be beating by sunrise."
♠ ♠ ♠
Hah! Finally, re-posted! c: