He Loves Me Not

Annoying.

I run my fingers through my tousled, blonde hair and pretend to be completely oblivious to the fact that my best friend was acting like a complete asshole.

He was sitting with Katy, or Carly, or whatever her name was. It was disgusting, the way she cooed to him and batted her spidery eyelashes at him. I heard him laugh softly at whatever she had said, and glimpsed over in their direction for a moment, only to feel a sudden nausea shoot through me.

It’s not that I don’t like love. I just find it overrated. Especially once your best friend is as giddy as a love struck puppy about his new girlfriend, who frankly, is dumber than a doornail.

I take out my phone and pretend to be doing something important, but I really doubt either of them notice. They're so caught up into thinking of cute little pet names for each other that no matter how hard I glare at them, I am invisible.

I sigh loudly, wondering why I even agreed to this whole thing in the first place. Tonight was supposed to be just Dmitry and me, but he had decided to have his airheaded girlfriend tag along.

“It’ll be more fun that way,” he had said.

Fun. Yeah, bloody fantastic.

Of course that’s what I had wanted- to be the awkward third wheel all night while these two love birds force their tongues down each other’s throats.

Thanks, Dima. You’re a great friend.

I press my lips together in frustration and see a notification pop onto my phone screen. It was from Nina, and she was wondering how the night was going for the three of us.

Now I love Nina, I really do. I love her just as much as her brother, but what was she really expecting? For us to clink glasses together and declare a new, profound friendship or something?

My fingers hover rapidly over the keys as I answer her back, my infamous sarcasm spilling itself all over the place. I hit send and shake my head, trying very hard to ignore the sound of lips smacking behind me.

My phone buzzed and Nina answered back with a smiley face, along with another witty comment that brought my lips into a twisted grin.

She wasn’t a fan of Katy either, and maybe that was the only thing that we had in common. Recently, our friendship had grown even stronger because of our strong distaste for this Carly chick, who suddenly was appearing more often in our lives than what we deemed necessary.

I look up at the television and watch as Audrey Hepburn gracefully emerges onto the screen. We had decided to watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s since Dima knows I practically idolize her. He decided it was an ice breaker, and maybe me and Kiki could hit it off, ‘find a common ground’ as he had said.

I realize now that the only way we could ‘hit it off’ is if I smack her upside her stupid little Barbie doll face.

Hah, that would be funny.

And then I would be completely at fault for ruining everything, and Dima would probably ‘never forgive me.’ But that was a lie. He would eventually, I knew he would.

He would let it go as soon as he found another girl to go completely bonkers over.

I sigh, actually thinking it over now. How satisfying that would be, to just reach my fragile little hand over and whoops- my hand accidentally slips across her face.

“This movie is so boring.”

No, oh no. I did not just hear those words come out of her mouth.

I glance behind, a sense of shock overwhelming me. Kiki was staring at me with those big, empty brown eyes of hers, smiling innocently as if what she had just said was cute.

“What?” I manage, keeping my eyes focused on her. The scene I was just fantasizing about might just become a reality.

“I hate these old movies. We should have put in Super Bad.”

I blinked a few times, a mean laugh finding its way to my lips. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Dima watching both of us nervously.

Well, I’m sorry Dima. If you think I’m going to stand here and let your buck toothed, idiotic girlfriend word-vomit all over the place, you shouldn’t have asked me to come.

In fact, you shouldn't have asked her to come.

“Look, Kiki. This movie is a classic. I would try to explain that to you, but I already see that it’s pointless. Along with having absolutely no taste in films, you have a horribly annoying personality and your little beaver teeth are really starting to irritate me. Here’s a nickel to get those ugly things removed.”

My mouth is moving faster than what my brain can handle. I hear myself screaming ‘Stop! You’re going to make him mad!’ but it’s too late.

I fling a silver coin in her direction, feeling a sudden load come off of my chest.

I glance over at Dima and see his frown become more evident as my eyes meet his. No, he’s not frowning anymore. He’s glaring.

Wonderful, you just walked yourself right into that one.

I walk over to my handbag that was resting casually on the armchair and slide it over my shoulders. Stopping before the infatuated couple, I give a half-apologetic look to Dima and whisper an empty ‘I’m sorry’ to him, before exiting out of the room.

As I leave the room, I can hear her demand in a shrill, yet stable voice.

“Who’s Kiki?”