Sunshine In My Veins

I stood outside the classroom, my so-called ‘buddy’ had abandoned me after registration, I think he’s scared of me.

I guess you could call me emo, a lot of people did already, although I’m not a fan of stereotypes, emo makes me sound way to hardcore, like I slit my wrists and am clinically depressed, all the time, emo means emotionally unstable, and I can safely say, I’ve got good control over my emotions.

And right now I was feeling shit-scared.

I pulled out my phone, and made sure it was on silent, I didn’t want any more attention on me, I had a feeling there was going to be plenty of that already. I had a quick glance at myself on the shiny black bit, not being vain or anything, just making sure I wasn’t too repulsive-looking for my first lesson, first day at a new school. We had English, I was okay at it, I suppose, but I was always stuck at a grade C+ I could never manage a solid B or A. At my last school I’d said to Jack, my only friend, that if I ever got an A in English it would be the best day of my educational life.

I say weird things like that a lot, no-one understood me, and they all thought I said those things to get attention, which was what I wanted the least. Even though my cousin once told me, to get a girl to notice you, you must attract their attention. There’s another thing.
I’ve never been in a proper relationship.

Ever, no joke. My Mom used to say “If you sort your hair out, wipe all your makeup off and get your fashion sense sorted out, you’d be a very attractive young lad!” Okay, so what I’ve kind of created my own hairstyle? I call it the Ryhawk, sticking up like a Mohawk with bangs covering my left eye. And so what if I wear a little bit of eyeliner, and I’m constantly wearing skinny jeans and band shirts? But, it’s not the look people go for. At my old school there was no-one that even glanced at me, in an admiring way anyway. They were all into Justin Bieber hair and beige chinos, apparently some fashion they picked up from England, I was hoping this place would be different.

I didn’t even know if I wanted a relationship…with a girl that is.

I glanced through the narrow window in the door, I could see Josh, my ‘buddy’, at the front on the opposite side of the room, he was English, moved here a couple of years ago apparently, he was medium height with scruffy brown hair, a nice enough guy, but he was painfully shy. Oh, and seemingly scared of ‘emo’ kids.

I re-arranged my clothes, pulling my, My Chemical Romance t-shirt down further, I didn’t want anyone noticing how skinny I was, not that it bothered me that much, I just didn’t want people to notice and find another reason to pick on me. I added to my eyeliner and with that I felt much more confident. Yea, right, I was still shitting myself.

I gripped the strap on my hot-topic bag then, shoved my hands in the pockets of my jeans and walked in, savouring one hand to open the door of course.

As soon as I entered the whole classroom went quiet, I suppose they thought I was a teacher at first, I was pretty tall, but in black skinny jeans and a MCR shirt, the majority of them went back to talking, but all eyes still burned on me. I realised then that I had nowhere, at all to sit, I hovered near the door and hastily scanned the room for talent, don’t call me stereotypical, but I’m a 17 year old boy, I have hormones. I set myself a target, I know it was sad and a lot to ask for, but, I wanted someone, medium height, dark hair, decent bangs and lots of eyeliner. There, my ideal partner. I couldn’t find anyone.

The first girl I saw was the one sitting near Josh, she had light brown hair, which was long, and obviously contained extensions, as they were a different shade to the top part of her hair. She was pretty, but not what I was after. Looking again, I saw another girl, darker hair, big brown eyes, and no eyeliner, she had naturally long hair. The other girl, was wearing eyeliner, she had a bit of a cat-eye thing going on. And she had a side fringe, unlike the other girl, but she kept brushing it out of her face. I blinked; I wasn’t making any sense, not even to myself. There were some really pretty girls in this class, but none I really felt attracted too. I’d never really felt properly attracted to any girls.

“Brendon, what did you get?” Said a small blonde girl sitting near the front, She looked over to a short boy, sitting on his own at the front, his desk was in the corner close to where I was standing, I hadn’t seen him before, I could only see the back, of his head, he was looking for his mark on some test they'd had last week. His hair was dark brown, relatively straight, he had bangs that covered some of his forehead, I braced myself, for when he turned around.

I felt my stomach tighten, his eyes were amazing, they were big, classic puppy-dog eyes, the most beautiful shade of brown I’ve ever seen, carefully lined with black eyeliner, he had big lips and a slightly arrow shaped nose, he was still without a doubt the most beautiful boy I’d ever seen. He was wearing a blue checked shirt, skinny jeans and converse. He smiled a goofy smile at the blonde girl, his eyes smiling too, “B- again!” I grinned, knowing how he felt.

“Seriously, if I ever get an A in English, It will be the best day of my educational life!” He said, laughing.

My heart stopped.

I think that was the moment when I realised that if you wait long enough your perfect partner would eventually appear…wait what was I doing!? I wasn’t gay! Was I?

“Hey, Emo boy!” Said a blonde boy with a snobby voice, he had curly hair and blue eyes. Ew. I presumed he meant me. “You just going to stand there or..?”

“Um..where..?” I stuttered, I could feel my palms sweating.

“Why don’t you sit near Brendon, I bet he thinks you’re really hot!” Shouted a skinny guy sitting at the back, he had lots of freckles and hair like a rooster, or a failed Ryhawk, I grinned to myself. I turned around to find Brendon smiling at me; his cheeks flushed a delicate pink.

“Oh, thanks George” He said, shooting a sarcastic look to rooster-boy. I felt shockingly warm inside when he said my name; of course, he wasn’t actually addressing me, my names not even George, I mean it is…but nobody calls me that, not even my parents.

I looked at him, he nodded. I walked towards him being very careful not to trip over anything. I hugged my bag to my chest, trying my best not to hit him on the head with it as I made my way to the desk behind him. Sitting down, I felt much better; people were no longer staring at me. Being closer to him, I noticed a white headphone in his left ear, he moved his hair of his face, with one swift hand motion, he really did have amazing eyes, they were all big and chocolaty. I came to the sudden realisation that if I continued staring at him like this without saying anything he’d may think I was some sort of gay stalker. I thought back to the headphone.

“What you listening to?” I asked, quietly,

“Fall Out Boy” He said, reaching in his pocket and pulling out an iPod touch, he paused the song; I caught a glimpse of the screen, I smiled, I loved Fall Out Boy, he was listening to 27, Good song.

“Nice” I responded, realising I should have said more.

“Yea, I love Patrick Stump, his voice is amazing”

I grinned, Patrick was like, my idle, a God to me, and he loved him..!

I couldn’t speak, for the happiness that filled me at that moment was unbelievable.

“Yeah, he’s like, my idle” I said, hoping to impress him. Wait, why was I trying to impress him?

“Really?” He smiled, “I like your bag, hot topic?”

Ohmygod!

“Yea! How did you know?” This was officially the best moment of my life, ever.

“I saw it when I was looking for mine, I’m Brendon by the way, Brendon Urie” He smiled warmly,

“and you are?”

“Ryan, Ryan Ross”

“Well, hello Ryan, Ryan Ross” He smiled, again, what seemed to be his signature goofy smile. I noticed his fingers constantly tapping the desk.

“Hey there Brendon” I grinned, “You okay, can’t keep still? I asked him.

He laughed softly, stopping his fingers from moving, “I, um, have ADHD”

“Oh, sorry, my cousin has that, I used to spend a lot of time with him” I stopped myself.

“Really?” He asked, his eyes lighting up, he seemed pleased I understood.

“Yeah, he does” I laughed, so did he, it was a beautiful sound. What! No, I wasn’t gay, was I?

The rest of the classroom had totally lost interest in me now, thank god. Except one guy, he had straight blonde hair and was looking at me like he wanted me dead. I decided to ignore and not to provoke him, I really didn’t want to get into too much trouble here.

We had no teacher that lesson, which was amazing! Brendon told me that didn’t happen, like, ever. This got me thinking that it was fate. Don’t call me sad.

He said that Phil, the guy who usually sat where I was sitting, was away at swim camp, we both laughed at that. He had a brother called Dan, who was, incidentally the guy who’d been giving me death-looks earlier. He said he’d much rather have me sitting here than him. Yay! I told myself Dan only hated me because I was sitting in his brother’s seat. I hoped.

After an hour, pulled out my phone, how long did lessons last?

Brendon told me it was double English.

I lost myself in a game of block buster, while Brendon was texting someone, I saw the name on his phone, some guy called Spencer, I couldn’t see what he was texting, but I swear one text said ‘new guy, epic music taste!’ but, they could have been talking about anyone? Anyway, I didn’t want to get my hopes up, I’d only just met the guy…