Not Over You

Samantha felt like her chest was about to explode from all of the feelings that she felt between Jon and Grant. With each step that she took, she was getting closer and closer to Grant’s loft. She wanted to turn back around and just go to her bakery and eat all the dessert she could ever imagine and get drunk on wine, but she couldn’t. Instead, she knocked on the door of Grant’s loft. She heard his voice, letting her know it was unlocked and that she was welcome to walk right on in. She walked in his loft and didn’t find him in the living room like she had though.

“I’m in the kitchen!” he called out, knowing she would be looking for him.

Slowly, she walked into the kitchen and saw him standing there. “Hi,” she said half-heartedly.

“Are you hungry?” He asked, not bothering with a greeting. “Or do you want to skip straight to the wine?”

“Wine is fine.”

Grant poured her a glass a red wine. He even got her favorite. She sat down at the breakfast bar as Grant sat on the kitchen counter across from her. The tension was thick as she tried to avoid eye contact as much as possible. She hated herself for everything that had done to him and knew that she should have done the right thing a long time ago. There was no excuse.

“So what did you want to talk about?” He asked her, grabbing his beer bottle that sat next to him.

Samantha felt her stomach tighten as she heard the sadness in his voice. She thought that maybe she was making the biggest mistake of her life. But she knew that if he was doing this to her, she would want to know. She drank the last of her wine in one huge gulp before putting the glass back down.

“My ex-boyfriend Jon that I told you about, is really Jonathan Toews,” she began.

Grant gave her a harsh stare. “Are you kidding me? You dated the Blackhawk? God I feel like such an idiot! I thought I was being a cool boyfriend introducing you two!”

“Don’t think like that! It really was a sweet gesture that you did that,” she said honestly. She was truly great full that he had no issue on missing out the only chance he may have to meet his favorite basketball team, just so she could meet one person from her favorite team.

His glare didn’t soften. “Is there anything else you’re not telling me?”

Before answering him, she grabbed the wine bottle and poured herself another glass. The alcohol helped her take the edge off and relax more. “The day before the charity event, I ran into him at the corner store and I invited him up to watch a movie. We got into a fight, then he kissed me, and then we kind of made out for a bit.”

In anger, Grant threw his beer bottle on the ground. When the glass bottle crashed loudly on his now not so clean tiles, she nearly jumped out of her seat. Beer and broken glass were all over his kitchen floors as he hopped off of the counter. He paced back and forth, clenching his fists so tight that they were white. “Sam, are you fucking kidding me? How the hell could you do that to me?”

“I’m sorry, I-“

“No, you’re not sorry!” He yelled, cutting her off. “Don’t give me a lame excuse! If you were actually sorry you would have told me right away.” She sat there and tried to hold back her tears as he continued to yell. “How could you do this to me, Sam?” He asked her again, this time in a much softer tone.

She wiped her tears away, still not looking at him. She didn’t want to see how hurt his face was. “I-I don’t know.”

Grant sighed, running his hand through his messy hair. “I thought I meant more to you than that. Was I just some stupid rebound to get over your famous boyfriend?”

“No, of course-“

“You know what? I don’t care anymore. We’re through,” he sighed. “Please leave, I don’t want to see you anymore.”

As soon as she tried to take a step towards him, he took a step back. “Grant, I-“

“I don’t care, Sam,” he said, tiredly. “Just please leave. I can’t deal with this anymore. You betrayed my trust and I can’t ever forgive you for that. I hope Jon was worth it.”

She let out a shaky sigh before turning around to leave his apartment. It was close to ten o’clock at night and she normally didn’t feel safe being alone this late at night, but tonight she didn’t care. She decided to walk home to try and get her mind cleared. Every time she thought she was done crying, Grant would pop into her head and all she thought about was how she betrayed Grant.

He may have been a bit controlling at times, but it was something she could have dealt with because he wasn’t obsessive about things. He didn’t deserve what she had done to him. She felt disgusted with herself because never in a million years did she ever imagine cheating on anyone. To make herself feel better, she tried to think that most of the people who actually have cheated never intended to. She still knew that there was no excuse for her behavior.

It got later as she got closer to her home. She was still crying, earning a few stares from the strangers out in the streets. She pulled out her cell phone, but remembered she had no one to call. Jon and Patrick Sharp were in Canada, and Elena was gone. She decided call Elena anyway, knowing that Jon was with his family and Patrick was leaving the next morning.

“Hello?” Elena giggled into the phone, “Adam, stop it!”

Samantha’s lip quivered. “Elena?”

“Oh sweetie,” Elena’s tone quickly got serious, “what’s wrong?”

She sighed as she stopped at the corner. “I messed up big time,” she sobbed. “I told Grant about Jon and he broke up with me. I mean, I expected it, but it still hurts.”

“Where are you right now?” Elena worriedly questioned. “Is Jon or Pat around?”

Samantha wiped her eyes as she continued to walk home. “Jon is in Canada with family and Patrick is leaving tomorrow morning,” she explained. “I didn’t mean to bother you, I just didn’t know who else to call.”

She heard Elena whisper something to Adam, but she wasn’t quite sure what she had said. She impatiently waited another minute or two before Elena finally came back to the phone. She told Samantha to take a deep breath and explain everything that had happened that night. Elena stayed on the phone with Samantha the whole time, making sure she got home safe.

By the time she reached her apartment, she saw Patrick Kane sitting on the floor, waiting for her. She wasn’t as close to him as she was with Patrick Sharp, but came to a close second.

“Elena, I gotta go. Kaner is at my door with a bottle of vodka,” Samantha managed to chuckle lightly.

“Good,” she could tell Elena was smiling. “Call me tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah, I will. Night,” she sighed, hanging up. She took out her keys so she and Patrick Kane could enter her apartment. “What are you doing here, Kaner?”

He stood up from the ground and followed her in. “Burish called,” he simply replied. “He briefly filled me in.”

“Shouldn’t you be visiting your family or something like everyone else? Why aren’t you at the Bahama’s? I would be,” she said to him as she grabbed a tissue to clean her face up.

He shrugged as he placed the vodka bottle down on the counter. “They live in New York so I can visit them anytime. Besides, I think you need me more.”

She sat down at her kitchen table and let out a small laugh. “And the vodka?”

“Well I just thought that this might help,” he shrugged. He went through her cabinets to find some glasses to use. “Did you like, want to talk or something?”

“No Kaner,” she laughed, this time it sounded happier. “I have beer in the fridge if you want.” He grabbed the beer and some juice since he wasn’t sure if she wanted to have a mixed drink or not. He sat down with her at the kitchen table and watched her as she poured herself a shot and quickly inhaling it. “Can I ask you something serious, Kaner?”

He nodded as he opened up the beer. “Shoot.”

“Do you think I’m some sort of slut or something?” She asked. She knew Jon had told him about the kiss they had shared the night before the charity event.

“Of course not,” he answered seriously. “Yeah you made a mistake, but at least you decided to tell Grant. I mean, if you’re a slut after one kiss, I don’t even want to imagine what that makes me.”

She smiled as she poured herself another drink, a mixed one this time. “Why aren’t you at a club making out with a pretty blond girl? It’s more fun than sitting with your friend’s crying ex-girlfriend.”

“You’re my friend too, you know.”



“What are you doing up?” Jon’s younger brother, David yawned as he walked into the family room. “Anything good on TV?”

“Nah, I just have it on for noise,” Jon replied. “Why are you up?”

David smiled, “I’m hungry. You want leftovers?”

Jon chuckled at his baby brother before following him into the kitchen. David took out some of the meatloaf and mashed potatoes their mother had made for dinner and stuck them in the microwave to heat up. He grabbed two bottles of water and sat down with Jon at the kitchen table where they used to eat their meals as children.

“You wanna tell me what’s bugging you?” David asked, cracking open his bottle.

Jon raised his eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“When you’re at home, you’re all mopey. They only time I saw a real smile was when the city threw you that parade. Other than that, you’ve been like a moody teenage girl,” he observed. “Something’s bothering you.”

He sighed, leaning back into the chair. “It’s Sam,” he explained, “she’s just been upset lately and she doesn’t have anyone left really. Then I just left and came here.”

“Yeah, but didn’t you say she had a boyfriend?” David asked; Jon didn’t say anything, he just nodded. “Why can’t he be there for her?”

“She says he’s been distant lately.” Jon said, tapping his fingers lightly on the wooden table, “I mean, her best friend just moved out of the state for one of my old teammates and they’ve only been dating for a month. She’s not that close to her family and I’m all she really has left in the city.”

David smirked, “Shit, you still like her.”

“No I don’t,” Jon mumbled awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with his younger brother. The microwave beeped and David got up to get the food. Instead of using plates, he just grabbed two forks so he and Jon could eat right out of the containers since he knew they would be finishing it off anyway.

“Admit it, you do,” David couldn’t wipe that smirk off of his face. “I bet if she didn’t have that boyfriend of hers, you would be convincing her to come up here for the summer, wouldn’t you?”

Jon didn’t say anything. David was wrong. He didn’t like her anymore. He couldn’t like her. She had a boyfriend and he couldn’t be in the picture anymore. From what she had told him, Grant treated her the way she deserved to be treated. She had moved on and he was happy for her.

“No,” Jon said lowly. “There’s nothing left between us.”

David rolled his eyes, knowing that Jon was lying through his teeth. “Yeah, okay.”

“Why is it so hard for you to believe I don’t like her anymore?” Jon asked seriously. “We broke up almost six months ago and she already has a new boyfriend!” He was quickly getting angry at his brother for his pestering question. Why couldn’t David believe him? He’s his brother, he’s supposed to have his back.

“That doesn’t mean that you don’t still like her. Those are just those obstacles in love mom always talks about,” David shrugged. “Why are you being such a bitch about this?”

“I’m not being a bitch,” Jon growled. “I don’t like her anymore, okay? I was the one who broke up with her. I only talk to her because I feel bad for her that she has no one else that cares about her! Her own boyfriend doesn’t even want to see her so I’m left to pick up the pieces!”

David stayed quiet, surprised by Jon’s words. He only meant to tease him about her but he never expected a reaction like this. Jon was even surprised that he had snapped like that. Without saying anything, Jon stood up from the table and walked away. He grabbed the keys to his father’s truck before slipping on a pair of sandals and heading out.

Jon didn’t know where he was heading, but he just wanted to be alone for a while. He began to relax a little as he drove with the windows down and soft rock playing from the radio. He found himself by the lake he and David swam in during the hot summer days, and skated on during the winters. He leaned back into the car seat and pulled out his cellphone and saw that he had received a text from Patrick Kane, saying that he had to call him as soon as he could.

Sighing, Jon pulled the phone to his face as he called Patrick. The phone rang a few times before Patrick answered, “Jon! Thank God you called.”

“Hey, man. What’s up?” Jon mumbled, stilled annoyed with his brother.

Patrick noticed the tone of his voice. “What’s got your panties in a bunch?”

“My brother,” Jon sighed loudly. “He still thinks I like Sam because I still talk to her.”

“…well, do you?” Patrick timidly asked.

Jon rolled his eyes, not believing that he was being second guessed. “It doesn’t matter if I still like her or not. She has a fucking boyfriend! Besides, the only reason I still talk to her is because I feel bad. Her best friend ditched her and Grant is probably trying to do the same thing. Her own family doesn’t even like being near her.”

Nothing was said on either ends of the phone after that. He wasn’t even sure if he was still on the phone with Patrick. He started to hear some sniffling, not knowing why he was hearing it.”

“Dude,” Patrick groaned, “you have a big mouth.”

“What are you-“

“Well fuck you, Jon!” Samantha’s voice interrupted him.

Jon smacked himself, realizing that he was on speaker phone. He didn’t know why one of his friends and ex-girlfriend were together but that was the last thing on his mind. “Pat, why didn’t you tell me she was listening?”

“I didn’t get the chance to!” Patrick defended himself, “why are you being such an ass? This isn’t like you.”

“I’m pissed at Dave because he kept bothering me about Sam. He kept saying that I still liked her and that if she wasn’t with Grant she’d be here with me.”

Patrick stayed quiet for a moment. “Honestly, you probably do still like her. I get you feel bad that her best friend ditched her for Burish but she’s still your ex. You don’t have to check up on her anymore.”