Three Cheers

I felt like a sad dog awaiting their owners inevitable return. I waited for Gerard to come home, even though it was obvious he wasn't. I watched the door, waiting for him to come strolling in.

I wouldn't care if he didn't want to apologize, I just wanted him back. I waited and waited and waited. I tried calling his phone, but to no avail.

He seemed to just disappear on me. Just to me and our kids. Frank saw him, in fact, he came and got most of Gerard's things. Apologizing profusely about it and saying he was trying to make Gerard come back. He said that Gerard was feeling like a failure, that he felt like a loser.

I didn't care about that. I only cared about our kids.

Busy and Thora both cried rivers the first few days. They even were excused from school, that's how badly they were distressed. I didn't know what to do without him, because the girls didn't know what to do without him.

But, as the days slowly went on, the tear shed got less and less. Occasionally, they'd ask where he was and I'd say he was visiting his friend still. Frank told me that Gerard went to New York to fiddle with comics some more and to see Ray about making more music.

I didn't get what was going on in his head.

Mikey and Frank babysat the girls while I had started up my boutique again. I busied myself, trying to lose Gerard in the heap of sadness in my head. I did everything myself; I painted, set the store front up and managed to do the lighting.

All in a course of a few weeks. I had to do something, and this helped tremendously. I was always moving so I didn't have time to stop and revel on the fact that I was on my own -again.

I was essentially a single parent again. But, hey, I couldn't complain, I had wonderful girls. They needed me, and I wouldn't just give up, I had to be mommy and daddy.

The first month was rough, but by the second, everything was routine. The girls went to school, and then I'd pick them and they come to the shop with me until Mikey or Frank picked them up. More frequently, it was Mikey, because Fran was getting ready to have her baby.

I was surprised at how quickly the time went by. I wasn't aware that I was lonely until Mikey brought up Gerard, one night he brought the girls home. I tried to keep talk about Gerard at a minimum which was not at all.

"How are you?" Mikey asked me first.

"I'm good. Tired, though." I answered with a shrug, "How about you?"

He shrugged, "Pretty well. I uh, talked to Gee. He got one of my stories published for Marvel."

I let Gerard's name fly over my head, "Congrats, Mikey."

"Thanks," he smiled, "But... I couldn't have done it without him. He's still drinkin' but not to excess like before."

I sighed, "Good for him." I muttered sarcastically.

"He says that he's workin' on coming back to see the girls."

"He no isn't. He can't call, so he sure as hell ain't coming back here to break their hearts again." I sucked my teeth and turned towards the kitchen to get a soda.

The girls did their color by number coloring books on the table with juice boxes. I didn't want to talk about Gerard in front of them; "Keep coloring, I'm gonna see Uncle Mikey out."

"Wait," Thora said, dropping a crayon, "Uncle Mikey! Hugs!

Mikey chuckled and met Thora in the kitchen, "Hugs for Thora Bear!"

Thora giggled and hugged Mikey, "Love you."

Mikey kissed her cheek before setting her down, "Love you, too." He went over to Busy, "Biz, tomorrow, we're going to the comic store, right?"

Busy nodded, "Right."

He hugged her, "I love you."

"Love you, Uncle Mikey." She hugged him back.

Mikey followed me to the front door and out to the porch, "It's almost October and he says he wants to visit for Halloween." Mikey said quickly.

"Not here. Not Busy or Thora." I told him as I took a sip of my soda can.

"Why not?"

"Because he made his choice, just like before. Booze and girls over everyone else, especially me. I really thought he was over all that shit, but I guess not." I shook my head, "Even an idiot would pick those little girls over liquor."

Mikey sighed, "I get it. I'll relay the message."

"He doesn't deserve them, Mikey. Tell him to forget about them, it'd be easier that way."

"Ain't that a little harsh, October?"

"No." I muttered, "Gerard wanted the booze and Eliza, but not Thora or Busy. I can understand if he didn't want me anymore, but them? Those are his kids; he did this to Busy before. I think that I would've been better if I had kept him away from the beginning."

Mikey stood silent, looking down.

"I'm sorry, Mikey, but I won't let Gerard in again. It's too painful."

"I understand," Mikey murmured, "I just don't want to lose them either."

I smiled kindly at him, "You're a good uncle, I wouldn't take them from you."

"Thanks, October."

I waved it off, "It's fine."

He waved as he left and I returned inside. I went back into the kitchen, "You two hungry?"

"PB&J!" Thora exclaimed, "Milk!"

I laughed, "You got it, what about you, Biz?"

She shrugged, coloring. I knew something was up with her, and I knew exactly what it was. Busy kept it inside and I didn't like it. She was like me when I was a kid; always holding it all inside until I could find a razor blade to let it out.

I made Thora he sandwich and got her milk, and then I sat beside Busy. I looked over her picture; she was really good at coloring for being 5. "You're getting better at this, B."

She hummed.

"Biz, are you upset?"

She looked at me and nodded, "Did we do somethin' bad?" She asked softly.

I raised a brow, "No, why?"

"Because daddy left. Like before, 'member? When I was a baby."

"You and Thora didn't do anything bad."

"Why he leaved then?" Thora asked with grape jelly smeared on her lips and chin.

I grabbed a napkin from the middle of the table and leaned over to wipe her face, "Because he had some stuff to do." I lied to her, but I obviously couldn't tell her the truth.

"What stuff?" She asked.

I hummed, "His comic book. He wants to make music, too. Daddy is very busy, so he wanted to do this."

"He couldn't do it here?" Busy asked now.

I shook my head and looked at her, "I wish, B."

"Will he be back?" Busy looked at me hopefully, and I shrugged.

My heart was breaking.

"I'm sure he will. He misses you guys, you know, sweetie."

Busy smiled faintly, "I miss him, too."

"Me too!" Thora shouted with her mouthful.