Three Cheers

Our visit with Frank and Fran ended after about an hour, because Frank's mother was coming in to see the baby and they had too many visitors as it was. I hugged Fran quickly, and said goodbye with the girls.

Again, Busy hid behind me as we went out to the lobby where Mikey and Gerard were. Mikey looked at me, "I'm gonna head home..." He looked at Gerard, "I'll take Gee home--"

Gerard cut him off, "No, you won't. I'm going with October."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "Like hell." I muttered at him.

Gerard just smirked, "Yeah, like hell." He laughed, and then made his way over to Thora, "Want me to come home?"

Thora nodded vigorously, happily, "Uh-huh!"

I inwardly groaned, but didn't say anything. Busy grabbed my hand tightly, murmuring something; I picked her up, letting her nestle her head against my shoulder. I exhaled, "Lets go then."

Thora waved to Mikey as he maneuvered over towards me. I was confused, until I saw him kissed the top of Busy's head; "I left your comics in your room." He told her.

Busy looked up, "Thank you, Uncle Mikey."

Mikey smiled, "No problem. I'll see you later. Be good."

Busy nodded before burying her head into my shoulder again. The four of us left the hospital, Mikey had gone in to say bye to Frank. I didn't say a word as we got to my car and then we each got on one side to buckle the girls in.

We both got in the front seats, still silent as I pulled out of the parking lot. The drive way quiet, except for the radio, and Gerard drumming his fingers on his knee. I tried not to look over at him, I still wanted to smack him.

"Did you get the car fixed?" He asked as we got near the house.

"Yep, gave it to BJ." I answered.

Gerard didn't say anything else.

Finally, we got to the house, and I was happy to see both girls were asleep. I assumed the tears and the baby had wore them out. I carried Busy inside, while Gerard got Thora; we each out them in their rooms.

I laid Busy down, pulling her shoes and jeans off before I covered her. As I tucked her in, I heard Gerard make his way in and stop by her dresser. He gave a soft laugh, "She's getting better."

I looked over at him; he was looking at her drawings. "Yeah, I know." I smiled to myself, "She's just like you... You should feel so proud."

I thought angrily then. I held my tongue, kissing Busy's forehead before standing. I grabbed Gerard's arm and pulled him out of her bedroom. He pulled his arm from my grasp, ready to tell me off before I went to Thora's room to cheek on her. Gerard sucked his teeth, "She's fine."

I went in and looked Thora over; she was fine, she was sleeping like a baby in her princess canopy bed. I kissed her cheek and retreated from her bedroom; Happy rushed inside, climbing onto her bed and nestling beside her. I left the door opened for him and then met eyes with Gerard.

"Why are you here?" I asked him.

"To see them." He answered simply. "To see my daughters and my wife."

I rolled my eyes and walked away from him, towards the bedroom. I knew he'd follow, it didn't even matter. I began to pull my boots off, and then my jeans; Gerard didn't say a word as I changed into pajama bottoms.

"What are you still doing here?" I asked him.

Gerard smirked at me, "Doing what I'm suppose to."

"What's that? Be a real father like you were suppose to months ago?"

Gerard didn't say or do anything. I watched him, but still, he didn't do a thing. I crossed my arms, "What the hell do you want, Gerard?"

Gerard's demeanor turned dark, and it bothered me. I stayed back, not moving an inch. Finally, he came over to me, grabbing my forearms, causing me to jump in place. His features softened, and he leaned in and kissed me. I grew angry, pulled from his grasp and smacked Gerard; he stumbled back, and immediately tears formed in my eyes.

"Do you think you're cute or something, Gerard?" I growled at him, "Do you think that our life is a game?"

Gerard kept his head to one side, his left hand cupped his cheek. He didn't move nor answer me. I was growing furious by the millisecond.

"Answer me!" I snapped at him, "Right now, Gerard! Do you think this -MY LIFE- is a game?"

He finally looked at me and dropped his hand, "No."

"Then why do you fuck with me? Why do you come and go when you please? Why do you hurt my kids?" I let the tears fall, "Busy doesn't even want to talk to you because you left her! You left; her own words!"

"She's 5--"

"Yeah, she 5, but she's fuckin' smart! She knows, and she's hurting. Busy knows you'll leave again, and she doesn't want to be apart of it."

Gerard looked completely baffled. He stood there, emotion mixed upon his eyes.

"So, guess what," I told him; his eyes shot up at me, "You aren't leaving. You aren't leaving them. I don't give a fuck how badly you want to drink or fuck Eliza, you aren't leaving Busy and Thora."

Gerard looked at me and nodded. He ran a hand through his head and continued to nod.

"I didn't know..." He finally mumbled.

"Of course you didn't," I snapped again, "You just have your head on you! The world doesn't revolve around you, the world revolves around those two little girls!" I used my hands to speak, but I was so wrapped up in snapping at Gerard, I wasn't aware of what I was doing.

I was crying. A big mess of anger that spilled over. I cried at Gerard until he grabbed me and held me. He held me close to his chest and I fell apart. I held onto his shirt and sobbed against him.

I don't even think I was speaking coherent words.

"October, calm down." He said over my sobs, "Just calm down."

I gave a small whine as my cry quieted. I pulled back from him and stepped back. I wiped my face and sniffled, "What do I have to do to show you that I love you? That those little girls love you?"

Gerard sighed, his ran up and down the back of his head, "No." He answered softly.

"Then why do you push us away? What's wrong?"

"You know!" He spoke frustratedly, "I'm a fuck up, I'll fuck up our kids. Busy already hates me--"

"You aren't even giving yourself a chance! You were doing great before Eliza came back!"

"Because she showed me what it was like; I felt unhappy and all that stupid careless shit I used to do made the those unhappy feelings go away." He licked over his lips, "But while I was alone out there... I figured out that I'm even more unhappy by myself." He rubbed his neck, "Not even two weeks and already I missed the little shit; like fuckin' Happy barking outside. I missed the sound of Thora stomping around the house, or the way you just whistle for no reason."

I continued to tear up, "Then how come you didn't come back?" I asked with my voice scratching and fading.

"I don't know... I don't know. I wanted to, but I was too late and the nights were long... All I could do was write and draw and fuckin' regret leaving..." He trailed off.

"I wish you would've come back." I muttered.

"I couldn't. Not like how I was."

"I could've helped you."

He shook his head, "Not again."

"It's not like that again, is it?"

"No." He murmured, "I stop myself when I know it'll end up like that again."

I felt a many array of different emotions. I could only feel some anger push through. I thought about the way Busy and Thora had cried when he left.

"I just want to be with them again, October. You can hate me all you want, but I want to be here with them."

I finally just nodded, "Okay."

Gerard smiled faintly; "I'll crash on the couch... I'm sure Thora would want me to be here when she wakes up."

I agreed, "Yeah... You know where everything is."

Gerard left my bedroom, shutting the door behind him.