Three Cheers

"What did you say to the girls?" I asked Gerard.

He sighed deeply, "They overheard me and Frank talking."

"You told Frank?"

"You told Fran." He pointed out. "I tell my friend and you tell yours. What's the problem?"

"It came out, alright?"

"Frank asked. I'm sure Fran told him."

I coursed my hair back. "Why didn't you just step out of the room?"

"Thora heard me," he began. "She got all excited when I said that we wanted to have a baby. She must've thought I said that we had a baby."

"And why is Busy mad?" I questioned further.

"Because she doesn't want one." Gerard answered, "To top it off, Thora said she hoped we got a boy. Busy doesn't like boys..." He trailed. "I don't know, they were arguing about it after I fed them. I fell asleep, they were fine when I was sitting here."

I waved it off, "It's fine. At least they aren't disappointed or mad or anything."

Gerard put his arm around my waist and pulled me over to him. "What did the doc say?"

"He needs to run more test. Everything look normal so far." I answered. "I'm not even sure we should have a baby anymore."

Gerard placed his chin on my shoulder, "Why not?"

"I don't know... Everything has been feeling like some damn omen, ya'know?"

He shook his head, "No, I don't."

"Fran told me that it wouldn't be a good idea, the doctor needs more test, and Busy's pissed--"

Gerard cut me off, "This is our decision, not theirs, October."

"Still." I murmured.

He pulled me closer to him, his arms tight around me, "Do you not want one anymore?"

"I do," I answered. "I'm just nervous."

"We can wait." He said softly. "As long as you want."

"I know."

He kissed my cheek, "I ain't goin' nowhere."

I smiled, "You better not."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Sugar."

I thought for a moment, listening to the girls okay and giggle in one of their rooms; "I'll be 30 next year."

He laughed, "So? I'm 31."

"Yeah, but I expected to have all the babies I wanted before then."

"Life ain't a time bomb."

"I just feel that way." I explained to him.

"Then, do you want to try?"

"After Dr. White goes over my results." I answered with an exhale. "I don't even know what I want anymore, Gerard."

He kissed my temple, "Don't worry about it. Who cares if you're almost 30?"

"I do." I said shortly.

He laughed again, "I don't care. Our kids don't care. You get better with age."

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever."

"It's true. I'm more in love with you than I was when I was 18."

I grinned, "Goddamn, that's a long time."

Gerard gave a small laugh, "We were so fucked up back then."

"We were... Two cutters who needed a good release." I added.

Gerard lifted his arm, looking at it with me. You could see the faded white and pink scars on his wrist. I remember all the things he used to say; how he got high off pills and cut himself to make sure he was still alive. My fingers ran over them, the lines were straight across, a little jagged. "I hate that you hurt yourself back then."

He grabbed my right arm, doing the same to mine. My scars were a lot deeper and vertical, puffy and pink. The edges were creamy, white; "Me too." He murmured.

"I'm all better," I told him. "Have been for a long time."

"I know, but it still stings. I wish they weren't there." He rubbed my scars with his thumb.

"I'm not. They remind me of how I met you." I scoffed a laugh at myself. "God, I sound so damn cheesy."

He kissed my cheek again, "Ain't cheesy. It's true."

I turned my head and kissed his lips, "I love you, Gerard."

His lips turned up, "I know you do."

I slapped his chest light, "Smug bastard."

He continued on with a laugh, his arms wrapping around me, "I'm only kiddin' around. I love you, too, October."

I sighed contently, thinking. "I hope our kids never feel like we felt back then."

"They won't. We love them, our friends and family love them. They aren't ignored."

I nodded slowly, "You're right, but still... I hope they never feel as lonely as we did."


Dr. White looked pleased when he met me. I was still feeling the nervousness from the previous afternoon. Gerard was out in the waiting room with Thora, waiting for me.

"What's the news?" I asked Dr. White.

He gave a sigh, still, a smile was perched on his face. "Everything is just as I expected it to be, October. You're fine, you can have a baby."

I felt a tremendous weight lift off my shoulders. A weight that I never fully expected to be there. I started to laugh, I felt good. "Holy shit."

Dr. White chuckled, "You're relieved, aren't you?"

"Extremely." I exhaled again. "I can't wait to tell my husband."

Dr. White shook my hand, "I'm sure a romantic night out is in order?"

I blushed slightly, "Yep."

"Good luck, October. I hope you get all that you were hoping for."

"Thank you."

I left the exam room, nearly floating on air. Gerard looked at me, with Thora napping in his lap, "So?" He asked as he stood.

I kissed his cheek as he hiked Thora onto his hip. "A trip to the baby store is in order."

Gerard's brows shot up, "Really?"

"Yes, really." I kissed him again and took his hand, "C'mon, let's get home."