Three Cheers

With Gerard and Thora with me, we headed into my doctor's appointment. Well, they stayed out in the waiting room while I went in. Thora made friends with any child, so she happily talked to the little boy playing in the kid's corner, while Gerard was texting on his phone.

As I waited to be seen, I sat in a gown, humming to myself. I felt a little flutter in my stomach, and wasn't sure what it was exactly. I didn't burp, so it wasn't gas; I had thought about Gerard, so it may've been butterflies. I was so excited, I hoped it was quickening; but I didn't want to throw myself into that gushy stuff yet. I was still afraid to celebrate so quickly; I didn't want a mishap, I didn't want anything to go wrong.

When Dr. White came in, he greeted and smiled at me, "I hear your pregnant?"

I nodded, "Yeah. I've taken a dozen pregnancy test just to make sure."

He chuckled, "Congrats, October. Let's see how far along you are and the dynamics of this little baby, shall we?"

I nodded happily. Dr. White instructed me to lie back while he felt my stomach. He grinned, indicating that I was in fact pregnant; "I'd say almost 10 weeks."

"Whoa." I mumbled to myself.

"How long have you known?"

"A little while. I don't want to jinx us."

"Don't worry," he said as he continued to exam me, "You're both healthy, and this baby should be healthy as well."

I thought nothing but happy thoughts during the appointment. Afterward, I made another, thanking Dr. White before reappearing in the waiting room. Thora was in Gerard's lap and the two were on the verge of sleep; "Hey," I tapped Gerard's shoulder; he snapped up, "I'm ready to go."

He rubbed his eyes, "Okay." He stood and carried Thora, who wrapped her arms around his neck, "How'd it go?"

"Just fine," I was still grinning like a fool. "I'm 12 and a half weeks along and our baby is growing just fine."

Gerard smiled lazily at me, "Thats great to hear. We're almost half way through this thing."

I laughed, "Almost. I can't wait."

"Me either, because I thought of the perfect name if we have a girl."

I raised a brow, leading the way out the door, "Oh yeah? What?"

"Magenta." He grinned.

I grimaced, "Yeah, no."

He frowned, "Why not?"

"Magenta? Really?"

"Magenta is cool. Remember the Rocky Horror Picture Show?"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I'll like the name Magenta."

"What about Patricia, then?"

"Maybe." I leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Keep thinking, babe."

"I am."


The next few weeks of our lives were increasingly getting harder. With Gerard becoming so wrapped up in music and writing, the girls were restless without him. They missed him; he stayed out for long hours and got in when the sun was coming up. I knew he was always with Ray because I could smell Christa's food on his when he came falling into bed. Gerard became more distant, almost, to me, but he had all the time in the world for the girls.

Really, that's all I cared about, but I missed him too. He would come in and just go straight to bed or shower and head into his fading art room. I finally tried to ask him about it, but he snapped at me; "I gotta work somewhere, October!"

My belly was forming now and my hormones were slowly out of whack. "Hey!" I grabbed the pen from his grip, "I said to move the baby into Thora's room, but you don't listen! Don't get angry with me, you offered this space, god dammit!" And then I threw the pen at him.

I half expected him to throw it back or shout at me, but nothing. I had already turned my back and left the room. I did expect him to rush up behind me, but he didn't. I went to the kitchen and began to make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich; he came in a moment later. He stood at the counter and watched me; I was becoming angrier; so I growled; "Stop staring at me."

"You're so cute when you're angry at me." He spoke softly, a tiny bit of humor in his voice.

I dropped the dull butter knife on my bread and looked at him, "I'm not sorry for hitting you with the pen."

"I didn't expect an apology." The corners of his mouth turned up.

"Good, 'cuz you ain't gettin' one."

He laughed softly, "I came to apologize, Sugar."

I narrowed my eyes and then carried on making my sandwich, "For what?" I purposefully said this dumbly.

"For," he let out a deep sigh, "Flyin' off the handle. I'm sorry, October. I didn't mean to, I'm just...I've got so much shit going on in my head."

I watched from the corner of my eye, Gerard walking over and then he sat in a chair next to me. "Make me one?" He asked.

"Yeah." I replied quietly. "Tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours, G."

He licked his lips, "I'm excited and nervous...I'm a big ball of worry, too, y'know. Our baby is comin', the songs...shit," he let out a small exhale of a laugh, "I think this is some of the best stuff I've written in a long time. Not Three Cheers good, but better than what I've tried to write since Black Parade."

"Bullets is my favorite." I told him as I licked the peanut butter from my thumb.

"It is?" He asked in surprise.

"Yeah," he asked why, "Because I was there when you were piecing it together. I got to hear the advance copy; I still got it somewhere in the attic."

Gerard grinned, "Holy shit."

I finished the sandwich and cut it in half and gave Gerard a half; "I love it. Cubicles is my favorite song...I'm not too crazy about Demolition Lovers, because I don't have," I began to sing the lyrics, "Icy Blues."

He laughed before taking a bite. He shook his head, swallowed and looked at me, "I like when I learn shit about you out the blue."

I shrugged, "I'm surprised I've never told you before."

"Glad I know now."

We were quiet a moment as we ate our PB&J. I thought about it; "What about we name her after your grandma?" I asked him faintly.

Gerard was quiet, and then his lips twitched, "Not Helena." He said shortly.

I bit my lip, "Oh. I'm sorry, I just--"

He cut me off, "Elena," he said. "I don't want anyone giving us shit about naming her after the song. Elena or even Ellie or somethin'."

I smiled, placing my arm around his shoulders, "If you want, G."

"I like Elena." He said softly.

"I think we've got our names, right?"

He nodded, "Ronan or Elena, or Ellie."

"Maybe we'll have twins." I gestured, "Maybe one of them
Is hiding behind the other."

Gerard smirked, "I think your doc would've caught that."

I frowned jokingly, "Yeah, you're right. But, we will see if we're having such a miracle."

He laughed and kissed my cheek, "We will, but I ain't countin' on your miracle, Sugar."